community-based psychiatric adventures of the mentally normal

[Mitchy1nge]

am not sure if mavis is still in this one

Perhaps it was in an Oliver Sacks. He has some funny ideas.

My brain hates me. It has developed an inexplicable obsession with playing the worst songs it can think of, on repeat, for hours and hours and hours. The last five and a half hours have been Especially For You.

if you read the lyrics out loud a few times does it help to get rid of them? Works for me!

am suddenly Actually Fat in a way that makes no numerical sense (weigh self v frequently and use trend weight and happy scale apps to smooth out the fluctuations so I know my normal range and error margins) I was being all cool and reasonable about it, obviously weight went up before half marathon (water, carbs, tapering) and then plummeted again so it should not be a bad thing but have got changed a dozen times and am only walking spaniels on private land then taking someone on a hack then puppy sitting. But can't stop checking girth of bits of self with a tape measure in a way that is not that Mentally Normal at all :( why can't I just Stop It?

I will try. Nothing else has worked.

I've lost 3cm off my head in the past year. Still can't handle the fact I had a fat head.

Not sure how the tape measure could show a big difference if the number on the scale is within range though Did you boil the tape?

It's not within range! The tape measure is saying I haven't actually got bigger. This is my own fault, they urged me to get rid of my scales last year and I did but then of course I cracked at some point and got another set that are much less consistent. And now I'm late and I can't even say 'sorry I'm late I was Being Fat' without sounding like a freak since nobody else can ever see it :(

Oh yeah, scales are notorious for that. Sorry you cracked and bought some more

I have fallen out with my trusty scales in a big way.

I'm trying not to weigh or measure myself at the moment, just keep calorie counting, but I keep slipping. I've seen research that shows (looking at a large group), people either go up a BMI category (or more) as people age.

Just had appointment with care coordinator. Not sure how it went TBH. Hoping I didn't come across too badly but she and DP kept essentially telling me to shut up so fear I'm not sitting on my talkiness as much as I think I am Apparently I will be seeing the same doctor again and don't need to see the consultant, though, so that makes life easier in the meantime.

BMI categories are intended as a population-level measure of obesity and shouldn't be paid much heed on an individual basis ----

Oh, and my mum thinks I should be on lithium. Despite what it did to her mum.

Today's Musical Discovery - you can sing O Little Town Of Bethlehem at double speed to a backing of this Royksopp song. Sounds good.

I wouldn't worry too much about your appointment with the care coordinator. I regularly talk the ear off my CPN and I'm not manic all the time.

I'm trying not to worry - I'm just freaking out a bit at the idea that they might decide to stop giving me the phenelzine because they've decided to pathologise the actual intended effects of the bloody medication (or at least those I intended - I don't mind being slightly cheerier than baseline and am happy that it's just a medication effect, not a symptom of anything), which shouldn't scare the crap out of me, but does. It's just that this particular lot have never met me when I'm normal and undepressed, so don't necessarily realise I'm a talky person

There's a big difference between normal talkiness and manic talkiness.

I mean, they managed to interpret "I'm in a slightly better than usual mood; please help me put a plan in place to deal with the impending depression" as "please attempt to persuade me to swallow poisonous drugs to drag me down into the depression prematurely" so I just have no idea any more

I'm sure there is. They can fuck off if they try to stop my phenelzine though.

Though since I'm being prescribed it by the GP I actually have no compelling NEED to access secondary care any more especially since psychological services have largely been farmed out to the voluntary sector with the day services being utterly gutted.

Anyway - am not worrying. Thanks

I have the cold from hell and am drowning in waves of phlegm. Christmas party on Friday so I need to perk up. Any fail safe remedies much appreciated. I getting by on paracetamol and hot whiskey at the moment.

Gold kili ginger drink

www.amazon.co.uk/Gold-Kili-Ginger-Drink-Bags/dp/B004CNTIUO

Whiskey? How does that help?

Probably also available from any local Asian speciality grocers' or posssssssibly Tesco as I know ours carried it for a while.

Chewing gum also helpful with sinus pain. I like oxymetazoline in the atomiser thing and ultra chloraseptic.

But mostly the ginger drink.

I have ginger tea so I can try that even though it mightn't be as good as the one you linked to. The whiskey is mainly so I care less about the cold. I'm right in front of the fire and am frozen. I haven't had a cold in years.