To be suicidal, want to leave my job and not work the notice?

[Countrymouse1]

I can't stop shaking and I have to work hard to stop my teeth chattering from nervousness. My workplace are harrassing me on the weekend, things are not going well there, I have started taking antidepressents a few days ago and don't know what to do. My doctor gave me diazapan to help me transition onto the ADs, because they are known for making people feel more anxious at first, and so far today I have taken 15mg Valium but I still feel so terrified. When I think of going to work on Monday my heart speeds up and I feel like I cannot go in there. If I hand my notice in on Monday, can I get a doctor's letter to sign me off sick for the notice period?

I only have two friends here in this city and one is basically ignoring me and I don't know why. I suspect it is just thoughtlessness and being busy with her own life and exciting stuff she's doing but it still hurts. Other friend doesn't seem to want to see me either. I feel I have nowhere to turn. I texted my brother earlier asking if he still loved me even though I'm a mess right now, and he didn't write back, and again I know he's going away for the a couple of days with no phone coverage and probably just unfortunately didn't see my last text before he left, but I feel so alone.

I feel suicidal because I am so afraid of the future, even though I don't want to kill myself, and i know that doesn't make sense. I just need a break from the fear and some hope that somebody can love me.

I don't know what to do.

Maybe just get your doctor to sign you off at the moment, and don't worry about whether you want to resign or not. That's probably a decision for when you're feelling better.

And maybe give the Samaritans a call.

It does make sense. It's not right but it makes sense. You just can't handle things at the moment. I would definitely go back to the GP and be as honest as you've been here. Tell them you feel suicidal, because the meds may be making things worse. I've had a bad reaction to a few ADs (feeling more suicidal/on edge rather than less). And you likely need to be in contact with the crisis team if it's that bad. They can guide you through this tricky bit.

Keep talking wherever you can on here or in rl. It's a start

Please - phone in sick on Monday morning, then go and see your doctor.
It sounds as if you are too unwell to be at work right now, but there is every chance you will begin to feel better once the ADs start to work.

Why are your work harrassing you over the weekend?
Are you in a union? If so, can you contact them once you have seen the doctor on Monday?
Do you have any other family you can contact?

Sorry you are going through this. You need to take one thing at a time.

Thank you.

No, there is no union. I have been off sick this last week and due to go back on Monday. I have had a disciplinary which I feel was unfair and feel borderline bullied at my workplace, I'm not listened to and it makes me feel like I'm going mad. Obviously I have other stuff going on but the job isn't right for me and I need to get away from it.

I'd rather resign than get dismissed, which is what I think will happen if I take more time off, so that's why I want to write my notice email before Monday. I feel like if I don't do that I need to go to A and E to keep myself safe. I don't know what to do .

If you are feeling suicidalthen you sshould go either to A&E or to thennearest out of hours walk in centre. Whether it's just an escalation of your pre existing depression or a reaction to the drugs, either way it counts as an emergency.

Sorry to see you are feeling so unwell. The Samaritans as already suggested is an excellent idea.
You can either call your CRISIS team (on call emergency psychiatric team who will offer emergency assessment) or go to A&E who will contact them for you and arrange for you to be assessed tonight. Prepare for a wait in A&E so take things to make yourself comfortable (maybe a drink, music on phone).

Good luck and I very much hope you feel better soon.

Can you go to A & E today, regardless of what you want to do about work? Poor love, you sound in a terrible state. You can be stabilized and then you'll be in a better position to make other decisions. I have such compassion for you - I was in a similar dark place not too long ago. You're not alone, even though I'm sure you feel as though you are.

It may be the ADs that are making you suicidal. It is a SE of SSRIs and is worst in the first few weeks of taking them.
Either way I think you need an urgent medical opinion. A&E may not be the best place to go, your hospital should have a dedicated crisis team which will be run by psychiatric nurses. Psych nurses have far more knowledge of psychiatry than A&E doctors and would be better placed to help you. Also they will probably chat to you on the phone. A&E on a Saturday night will be a long wait. I would phone your local hospital and find out what crisis services there are.

Yes, you can get a sick note so you dont have to go back.

You poor soul. Keep in mind that however awful this is, you will get through it - every awful feeling and situation is transient.

Call the Samaritans tonight - they will give you the human contact that it sounds as though you desperately need.

Go back to your GP and get signed off from work until your Ad's kick in. As far as I know, it is very difficult to dismiss anybody who is signed off and the breathing space this will give you will help you get your options sorted.

S

You poor soul. Keep in mind that however awful this is, you will get through it - every awful feeling and situation is transient.

Call the Samaritans tonight - they will give you the human contact that it sounds as though you desperately need.

Go back to your GP and get signed off from work until your Ad's kick in. As far as I know, it is very difficult to dismiss anybody who is signed off and the breathing space this will give you will help you get your options sorted.

and this is going to be okay. We are here, keep talking and it is going to be okay. I promise.

Oh you poor thing, no job should ever make someone feel like this. I would ring in sick and get another doctors note to cover the next week or two if you can stretch it.

Then get yourself off to the CAB and see if they can give you some advice about your work situation.

Do you have family that you could stay with?

What are you afraid of in the future?

think ahead to six months time and look back on this moment in time.

What do you know needs to have changed by the time that six months is up?

What advice would the you in six months time give to the you now?

You can easily get signed off. Quit and get signed off for your notice period.

Get someone else to write your resignation and email it in if you can't face it. But you know, it doesn't matter if you get sacked - in the greater scheme of things, it's just a job.

Nothing is worth this - I walked out of a job like this 20 years ago, and I've never regretted it.

Hi there Countrymouse,

Sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. We really hope things improve for you soon.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health here.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We're also going to move this thread over to Mental Health in a moment, where we think the OP will find lots more people with sound advice as well as the benefit of experience of having been in a similar place.

Thank you to everyone here who has already offered lots of support and words of wisdom.

Don't resign!! Go on the sick!

op your not well. Take this time off to rest your mind. Go back to the doctors and say you need more time off. Things seem a million times worse when your this stressed . Fix yourself xxx

I have no other family I can talk to.

I am afraid if I go to a & e then I won;t be able to get another job, if my current workplace find out and write it on their records etc. I cant afford to be on statutory sick pay or benefits for any length of time or I will be kicked out of my flat, I need another job within a few weeks, and if I have suicidal reasons on my medical records no onw will hire me.

Thank you everyone. But I will be dismissed if I dont resign and I need another job or Iwill not survive, and surely resignation is better than dismissal?

I feel crazy because I am flitting between worrying about my job and money, to worrying if I need to go to hospital because I am so afraid of my mental state.

I agree don't resign, you are unwell and you could act in haste and regret it later. Secondly you need money to live, so take the wage even if its for a few weeks.

If its the job that has reduced you to feeling like this, and they are actually bullying you and it can be shown to be the case, it may be that going sick long term, forcing their hand and then seeking advice about constructive dismissal is your best bet.

I think you're getting well ahead of yourself. How would you current work find out you have been to A&E? If they're going to sack you then resign. If work is contributing so heavily to your anxiety a new job will help greatly once the ADs kick in.

I have no wage anyway, it's stat sick pay.

How can you be dismissed if you have been off a week in the sick ? Let them try and sue their arse off!

Don't resign. X