What does it feel like to not be depressed ?

[Beauregard]

just wondering cos ive forgotton.

Awww pfnm - it will get better - honest! {{{{hug}}}}

Any particular reason for your depression? Sounds corny but time is a great healer as is fresh air and a personal hobby. Felt overwhelmed after dd1 was born but eventually things got easier, especially if I could manage half an hour to myself each day to go for a brisk walk, read or just listen to some really loud music.

Thanks for the hug Tickle

I have been depressed for as long as i can remember,have tried ad's -allsorts.
Im currently waiting (long time)for councelling with a psychologist but i dont hold out much hope for that to be honest.Depression and mental health probs run in my family.I would just like to feel 'normal' for once instead of a bumbling ,shakey,loser.
There are people who have been through worse than me but they can get on with life which just makes me feel awful.

pfnm, more big hugs coming your way from me.

What's getting you down at the moment? By that I mean this exact moment in time, what are you feeling?

Im sick of waking up every day to the same old same old,sick of feeling anxious,angry,useless and worthless.

What about your kids?

My girls are wonderful but deserve better

Some days i can ignore my feelings a bit more than others iykwim, i will feel daft tommorrow for posting this and sounding soooo stupid,but there is never any end to this.

you're not being daft. Tell us a bit about yourself. To your daughters you are the best, you're their mum and it doesn't get much better than that, any DH or DP? do you work?

2cute-sorry had to go to bed,there isn't much to tell about me really,i live with dp and our 2 dd's ,dp works full time and i should work part time but had 6 months maternity and have been off sick since with the depression.

Proper Classical homoeopathy is worth a try. I don't suppose you're in the south of England? I can recommend some excellent homoeopaths.

No im in worcetershire

Hi - just had to send you a message because I have suffered with depression and anxiety attacks for several years but am currently going through a very positive period so maybe I can offer some words of comfort.
I suffered with postnatal depression after my second child which was a real shock to the system because I had been so overwhelmingly in love with my first son from the second I saw him.
I have an excellent supportive doctor who prescribed Paroxetine (not the answer for everyone but helped me no end) and Diazepan for use when I have a panic attack. To start off with I was having attacks several times a week but these gradually became under control. By the time my ds2 was about 7 months I started to bond with him which made things much easier.
I was put on a six week self help course by my doctor during which time I met other mums suffering with depression which was a great comfort at the time (although made me feel quite uncomfortable too).
I have since split with my husband who also suffers with severe depression combined with alcohol and drug misuse. Since splitting we have remained good friends and are still there to support each other.
My two boys are now my only priority.
I can remember crying my eyes out after suffering with yet another panic attack (which had occurred because I was taking my boys to an unfamiliar play park to meet my cousin) and saying that my 2 ds' deserved so much more than I could give them - but I have since come to realise that children really do not expect anything and that as long as you can give them love and nuture them in everything they do - you will be the best mum in the world in their eyes.
Just try and take one day at a time and see each small step you take as a giant leap forward.
Do you have a supportive doctor? Do you have a good health visitor? Are there any support groups in your area? Do you have financial worries as well due to not returning to work yet - because this can be the icing on the cake. My estranged husband has not worked for about 2.5 years so money has been really tight for me but there are lots of options and benefits you may be able to get - your local jobcentre plus may be able to help you.
Anyway - I hope you may be able to gain something from my message and don't ever give up, you are somebody and everybody is great in their own way - you just need to realise it.
Love and hugs,
Lindsey

Poor you, pfnm.

I don't know too much about depression, but you certainly don't sound like a loser to me.

And the one thing I do know is that you have an illness at the moment, and you need to give yourself time. Nothing to do with what other people have or haven't coped with.

Look after yourself and your family and I'm sure you'll come through this {{{hug}}}

Just off to bed again myself,(one hour ahead here!) but just wanted to check in pfnm, and let you know you should never feel silly for posting. Hope a bit of MN support helps.

Wonderful heartfelt post from mumtogusnalbie

Thanks for that Lindsey
Sorry to hear that you have been through it too.

I do think that my girls deserve better because i dont want them growing up with all their memories of me being miserable,or having to tiptoe around me or live with me over reacting to things ,i mean i cant be a good role model to them like this.

pfnm, I can identify as I often feel like I am letting my kids down too. Don't know if I have PND, HV is coming for a chat tommorrow, but either way I know what its like to feel this way. Deep down I really believe that I am the best mother for my children, and that you are the best mother for yours too. But it dosn't feel like that when I've shouted at DD for the 5th time for doing some normal 2 year old thing, and then burst into tears.

I really hope you can find a way through this pfnm - it feels really bleak sometimes I know, but tommorrow you may feel better, and hopefully, gradually, you will have more good days than bad, until one day you will realise you haven't had a 'bad' day for weeks.

(((hugs)))

Astro x

Thanks for all of your posts

I am so tired of feeling like this ,i have no energy
and dd1 starts school in the morning ,im dreading it and the walk there .

The walk there will help. I know what its like. You have to force yourself to do anything and if its like that for a long time you forget what 'normality' is and you think this is your personality. It isn't. You've got a chemical imbalance hiding who you really are from yourself. I have an on going struggle with depression. I cling on to the memory of the other me. At the moment I am crawling my way back up and starting to feel optomistic and positive again. My energy is still low, but am pregnant so that complicates it. When depressed its like wearing shit coloured glasses to look through. When not depressed you can suddenly see clearly.
Its a wonderful feeling to be alive and breathing
Force yourself to do the little things which you know can help. Eat well. Take excercise. Every time you say a bad thing to yourself add something kind. Try everything and know that something will work. Or a combination of things....may the force be with you!!!

Thats exactly it Rosylily,im not a very good at explaining myself.

And now that you've said you are not very good at explaining yourself (which isn't true) Say something kind to yourself!!! I'm being bossy but I mean well!

off to bed now ,hope i can sleep!

how was it this morning pelvicfloor?

Hi, oh it was ok thanks ,she raced through the door so at least i didn't have to worry about her liking it.
Thanks for asking

Hey there pfnm. Haven't logged on over the wkend. How are you?

Sorry in advance but I'm going to throw alot of questions at you now....How old is us DD2? What do you do during your days? Has anything traumatic happened in life that triggered your "down" feelings?

One thing is for sure, you are NOT alone in what you're going through. I'd bet that more than 50% of mums have been depressed at some point or other.

There are many different types of depression and from what you've been saying, you're obviously fed up of it and want to break out of this cycle that gets you down so often. Sometimes you probably don't even know why you're feeling low...am I right? All I can say is that hypnotherapy is a God send and it really works, especially in cases of depression. Your GP should be able to recommend someone, if not then get out the Yellow Pages and find one that's registered with the British Institute of Hynotherapy. I went through a low patch in life and my GP recommended seeing a hypnotherapist which was one of the best things I ever did. I became positive again so please try it.

To me you sound like a lovely person (I'm not just saying that to make you feel better) and you CAN beat this.

Whenever you feel low, go give your girls a huge hug and remember that you are number 1 to them and always will be. Is your DP supportive?

Here for you