just want some support

[agrimum]

I have been to first antenatal class tonight. the only one whose partner wasn't there. I know he is busy - but wish he would make time for me. Start of major argument when I got home - and I am just sat here now crying not knowing what to do. I am sick and tired of coping with everything by myself. I left all my friends and family when I got married - and just feel I have noone to turn to especially as my best friend has now emigrated to New Zealand.

Will any of this get better - or will I just be a single mum with a husband?

AW agrimum, been there myself sweetie. i did all dd's antenatal classes without dh. Found that I could enjoy them just as much by taking someone else.
Perhaps you can give him some future dates of more classes and make a specific request that he join you in certain ones that are important to you.
Maybe find some at a different time.. NCT do lots I believe although didnt do those myself.

What did you learn tonight then?

You must feel espec down that your friend has left just now, mine went Sydney 18 months ago and hasnt even met my ds yet. But we talk lots on the phone still. And you have email? What about one of those web camera thingies? Thats fun!!

You have lots of virtual friends here you know ((hugs))

it will get better, honest. Some men are a bit embarrassed or nervous about going to classes, but won't admit it. My DP was working away for most of mine so I took a friend with me and we used to go for a meal afterwards!! I think it doesn't seem 'real' to some men until you are about 35 weeks and huge! Rememebr, it's a bloke, with all the usual phobias about facing responsibilities. You will be fine, you really will x

Thats very true... to us its a MASSIVE deal to them its just not yet real.
(its not their fault they're dim)!!

Thanks for all your messages - have made me feel much better. I think he is not wanting to count his chickens before they hatch - constantly telling me that things can go wrong, and he doesn't want to think about it until baby is here and OK. But I need a little bit of positive mental attitude, as am constantly thinking what can go wrong rather than what will go right.
Good to know though that others have had same issues.

Hi agrimum, i took my mum along with me as DH could not take time from work, did not bother me abit, what DID pee me off was they kept calling me Miss x not Mrs, [as i was the only married one out of 14 in the class.]

I think men seem to think that all the bits before the baby arrives are "womans things" and sometime feel like a spare part.
Im sorry you are feeling so sad right now but it will get better.

Sorry you are feeling so down, agrimum.
I was in a similar position when I was pregnant with my DS's. H made it clear that he wouldn't be at the birth, so would also not be attending any classes.
I went along to 2 sessions & was the only one sat there alone. I felt like I was a single parent & couldn't face anymore sessions after the first two.
You are probably feeling extra emotional due to your friend emigrating mixed in with all those pregnancy hormones.
Hope you are feeling a little better soon.x