Just need to get it out... last night

[Katkins1]

Last night (well evening) I was getting ready to go out and freaked out a bit. I'd been hearing a voice all day, seeing giant spiders everywhere and just struggling in general. This is a new thing, have mental health issues, but never like this before. Just depression usually. The voice is like ny thoughts, but separate. He tells me all sorts of not very nice things, but most of the time, I can control it. Have heard it for three or four months now, but only just told some one these last few weeks (a friend and my doctor).I have 20 mg Prozac, bit it doesn't seem to be working much. Have been taking for three weeks. Last night, the voice was telling me it didn't like me, no one liked me and that I shouldn't tell any one what it was saying or it would make me suffer more. I told my friend, and it kept saying "what have you done?" And telling me that no one cared and so on.
My friend took me to the out of hours doctor, he was really dismissive and didn't believe me. My friend tried to get a referral for assessment, but he wasn't helpful. I left feeling as though I was making it all up. The voice thought it was great, that he had won and it was just me and him and he's untouchable. He started asking my friend questions when we were in the car;why was she helping me? So we had am odd conversation between me, him and her. It sounds weird written down. Anyway, I'm back at home now. In bed and daughter just woke up after a late night.She's watching TV. I've got a redecorating project to get on with over the weekend, but dint want to get up just yet. So tired and my arms really ache. Sorry, I just unneeded to say all of that.

Glad you are with your friend Katkins and that you realise you are experiencing a mental health crisis, and hopefully will get the treatment you need. It is likely you will be referred to a psychiatrist for diagnosis and treatment. Hope you can get some sleep too.

Thanks. I've just woken up and got little one dressed for school. I think I need to get myself washed and dressed in a bit too. I think I slept for maybe three or four hours, was too hot (covered in sweat) then shivering cold. Last night, I told my friend the flowers in the garden were singing like it was the most normal thing ever. I feel like I'm burning up, absolutely boiling hot. My lips feel as though they have gone numb, my arms are aching. Last night, I think I was dreaming about spiders. I want to shower and put different clothes on, but I don't want to wake my friend to ask if I can. I think I might have reached that state where I'm not in phases anymore (it was before), but maybe it's a more permanent thing. My whole body is shaking. I want to tell her I made up, I'm just trying to get attention, but I think it's really evident I'm not.

Have a read of the side effects on the paper that comes in the Prozac packet. Look at side effects, and withdrawal symptoms. It could be that Prozac is the wrong medication for you and you need something else instead.

If your symptoms match withdrawal symptoms then it is possible you might need a doctor to adjust your dose so you take a bit more (do not do this without someone qualified making an assessment and prescribing a new dose).

Hi Katkins, please seek help today. From a personal and professional standpoint you sound acutely unwell. My best advice is to present yourself at A&E rather than going to your GP. You need urgent help from the psychiatric team.

I've been given a same day referral to mental health by my doctor. Waiting for them to call.

Well done Katkins, I hope they call soon.

I'm going to see them at 2pm today. I'm a bit more 'with it' today. The flowers in the garden were singing a bit, and the vacuum cleaner was growling. Ye Gods, this started a day after I started taking Prozac. I think anti-depressants were the wrong meds; I had my first episode of being spaced out and so on (I posted about it on here and asked if it was a side effect of Prozac it worried me so much) about three weeks ago, was hearing voices three months ago. I was seeing things that weren't there, but just dismissed it all. I thought it was normal. This is definitely an episode of psychosis. I need to keep it together enough to call a taxi later, and get to the assessment.

Good luck. Let us know what they say.

Yep, agree, seems like psychosis from what little I know about it, and it is good to know you are doing so well to get it reassessed. Really hope the next meds are the right ones for you.

Hope your referral went well, that it has helped and that you've been provided with some support and a plan of action to help you deal with what you're going through.

Hi everyone. After medical intervention, it turns out I have my first experience of psychosis. Although, I'm slowly coming round and I can have a coherent conversation (ish). The symptoms will be treated with medication (not even anti-psychotics at this stage) and I'll be going back for a formal diagnosis to find out what's causing the issue. The phases between me having coherent conversations and being 'here' are getting longer (but I'm still really wobbly) and obviously the psychosis as yet remains untreated and uncontrolled. The flowers are still signing, and there were people in the mirror and all sorts, but I'm glad it's going some way to being sorted. My meds will be sertraline (50mg, going up to 100) and diazepam.

I'm glad you got help Katkins. When are you going back for the formal diagnosis?

Next Friday. The psychosis isn't under control yet, as I don't have the meds yet (and I suspect they might take a while to work). Knowing what it is helps alleviate the panic.

Hi OP, I have just been catching up on the thread. Glad to hear you are getting help. Are you staying with your friend?

Hi glad you got your medication changed.
I imagine they may want you a little bit more stable before they can assess you fully.

Has the dr suggested any strategies to help you stay safe until next Friday?

Thanks for updating us. Glad that you knew before you saw them and were prepared for it, iykwim and that having the facts helps. Hope you have help at hand until it settles down.

Celia I'm staying with my friend today, yes, but I want to go home. The doctors haven't suggested anything, I was quite surprised seeing as I told them I'm a lone parent

It sounds like they, the doctors, are less concerned about it than you are (the childcare).

As long as you are happy to ask for help with the childcare, you have 2 friends there who have offered, so if you are worried, do take them up on it.

Roll on Friday and in the meantime hopefully the medication will start to help.

They were meant to fax it yesterday- but haven't yet. My friend gave me some of her diapazem (I know, I know) because yesterday I wanted to drown myself in the bath and then on the way to the clinic, I walked out in front of a car. Don't even know why- impulsive. Then last night I was being so, so , so nasty to the friend who was helping me saying I wasn't welcome, I wanted to leave and throw myself under a train etc. She was really kind, but I feel so guilty. In the clinic, I could see through a pregnant ladies' stomach and her baby, then I couldn't move to lift a glass. I could see it, was really thirsty but just couldn't move. At my friends house, I was lying on the bed and thought that I was dead- I could see myself floating and looking at my own body. Then I saw spiders on the ceiling and next thing knew, there was a spider on my chest, pressing down on me and I couldn't breathe. It was so real; when she came in, I kept saying "there's a spider on me" until she lifted my arm up gently, and sat me up straight. She said I looked terrified when she came in. I took DD in a taxi from hers to school, wanted to walk a bit; a bus had a face, and I saw a spider on the roof of the school and on the grass. I was convinced there were spiders in a bin on the walk back (via the doctors) and earlier at my friends, the radiators were singing a bit and there were snails on the floor. When I was walking, they were talking to me from the house. Then I saw a load of people on the roof of a bus. Just want it to stop because I'm so tired and anxious.

Do you have a regular pharmacy? You can go to them and ask if they can phone the surgery to fax the prescription over to make up for you.

Sounds terrible. A friend of mine at university had a psychotic episode. We were taking a train trip together and she could hear singing and see thinga flying. She did get onto the drugs she needed, took a year out to get things soeted out and then managed really well.

The clinic need to fax it over to the surgery, I can get it from them (chemist only across the road), I will ring in a bit. I'm exhausted already. I hear things singing (flowers and radiators). Don't see anything flying though. All very odd; and I don't even know what the trigger was.

Call them and ask about the prescription. It has happened to me several times that prescription should have been faxed but it went through normal mail...

You sound pretty unwell. I had psychotic symptoms earlier this year but antipsychotics took them away.

I am quite unwell, but knowing what it is helps and gives me insight; that stops things falling too far.

You definitely definitely need to stay with your friend Katkins - MP above is a psychiatrist and she thinks you are acutely unwell and need treatment. I don't think you are safe to look after your LO - I know you've had a mental health assessment and they aren't starting you on anti psychotics yet, but hopefully they will on Friday. Who did you see - was it the CPNs?

A psychotic episode that comes out of the blue like this is terrifying but you did say you had been hearing voices for a few months (from April I think you said) so I think it's just got worse and worse. There are god drugs to treat it, but you really aren't safe to be alone. I'm sure your friend understands that it is the illness that is making you say nasty things and not the "real you" - do you have any family who could support you - how about LO's dad - could he look after her for a little while till you are feeling better. Can't help thinking it must be scary for her to see you so unwell.

I'm getting a prescription today for sertraline and diapezm. My friend's having LO today- I think I'm going to see them. I need to phone and check re: my prescription. Me and DD have talked : we call the voices 'brain friends' and have had a bit of a chat. It must be scary for her, I know. She does understand it's the illness and not me. She says I just need time. At the moment I just feel tired and hot: things are still a bit 'active' but not so much that I can't do things. Lo's Dad is useless (!) I saw a duty nurse, who talked to a doc, and they said will fax my prescription to GP today. I'm taking DD tomorrow; my friend says I can always text her if it's too much, and I'm going to another friends for tea on Thursday. I need to have a bath then phone about my prescription. My appointment for assessment is Friday 4th July.