Feel guilty.

[Imsuchamess]

I have a few friends two rl two online who know I am really I'll at the moment between the four of them I have had constant support.

But today I just don't feel like chatting. I don't feel up to it. So I messaged them this morning, saying "I feel really ill today, don't feel up to talking, please don't text me till tomorrow I am not suicidal". I messaged them as they start to panic if I don't respond to texts, phone calls and I've had two suicide attempts since Christmas.

Well all of them have been texting pleading that I talk to them, they are worried e.t.c.

I feel really bad that they are scared but I just need to be left alone today. I can't face them and I am too ill to talk. But I feel guilty.

Having support is great and it's lovely that your friends are there for you and I fully understand their concern.
But there is a point where "helpful" tips over towards "intrusive" and we all need a break at times. Is this something that you could talk about with them and find a way to tell them when you need support and when you need a bit of space?

And (just to check), you are getting some professional help too? Friends can be fantastic support, but it sounds like you need some additional help too

Thank you. I do have professional support.