Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Flip

Original poster

Not depressed as such, but feeling sad....

23 replies

naswm · 04/09/2006 18:28

...this is pathetic I know, so please dont reply if you are just going to tell me to stop wallowing etc. But my DS1 is going to school tomorrow for the first time and I just feel so sad about it. . I am happy with the school he is going to, and know he is ready for it, but it seems such a big step. I am looking at all the positives and know school will be great etc, but I just want to feel happy about it. Surely this cant make me dip down?????

OP posts:

golds · 04/09/2006 18:38

Its understandable, but give it a few days and you will feel fine, when he comes home all excited about what he's learnt, that will make you feel better. Go and do something special for yourself to take your mind off things. The freedom is actually quite lovely, I now can't wait to get rid of mine

LucyJones · 04/09/2006 18:39

Ah bless you Why not concentrate on making the day extra special for him - make him something yummy for breakfast and dinner to take your mind off things while he's away

laneydaye · 04/09/2006 18:40

i cried and cried and cried until it was time to pick ds up last year....... will cry with happiness this year...
big hug naswmxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

anniediv · 04/09/2006 18:40

Other people will be in the same boat, it's not pathetic. As golds said, wait until he comes home full of it all, it will be worth the little bit of sadness.

Original poster

naswm · 04/09/2006 18:42

thanks golds. I have no idea what to do with myself tomorrow morning and then all day on Wednesday. I will still have DS2 with me (he's 2yrs) so doing something for me or freedom isnt really going to happen. I just wish I knew someone else going through the same thing atm, becuase all the 'advice' I have been given is, throw them in the gate and run! I know they dont meant that in a heartless way, but it isnt the sympathetic ear I'd like! And atm I just feel like pouring my heart out (although exactly about what, I'm not really sure!!!!)

OP posts:

Original poster

naswm · 04/09/2006 18:43

oh thanks others - your posts came in while I was writing! Makes me feel better

OP posts:

peegeeweegeewoo · 04/09/2006 18:48

Nooo, don't throw them through the gate and run...

When ds1 (started in reception all the parents came into the classroom to say goodbye and have a quick chat with the teacher and TA. (may have been a pain for them, but made us parents feel better...)

Take a camera - I took loads of pictures of ds1 exploring the classroom...

Do you know any of the other mums?? If so, arrange to get together for a coffee whilst dc's are at school.

Otherwise, spend time with ds2 (as you would anyway) and perhaps prepare a pecial treat for when ds1 gets back. (I baked a cake...)

Good luck. It won't set you back, as long as you keep busy and don't dwell on it. Within a few weeks you will find yourself so busy that it will be time to pick ds1 up from school all too soon...

HTH, and good luck!!

smoggie · 04/09/2006 19:35

ih naswm - I really really do know how you feel. DS1 is starting nursery on wed and I just keep welling up just thinking about it. I can't vbelieve it has come around so quickly. Like you, I know he is ready for it and will love it, but I'm just dreading it so much. I too have ds2 with me (18mo) so i will have something to occupy me whilst ds1 is in there. I'm trying to have a real fun day tomorrow with them both. Have let ds1 pick what he wants to do and we're going out all day to 'play'. Then on wed, I plan to take lots of pics (school permitting!) and then take ds2 out somewhere so that I'm not sitting in the house moping about it.
It will be worth it to see thier faces when we pick them up and they're bursting with things to tell us. Hang in there. THey'll be fine - we won't, but it'll get easier..hopefully

CaptainDippy · 04/09/2006 19:49

[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]

Original poster

naswm · 04/09/2006 19:59

Oh CD thanks. I really need them at the moment. Virtual and real. Feeling very alone aboout all this Nx

OP posts:

smoggie · 05/09/2006 07:44

naswm - you've probably got so much to do this morning that you won't have time to check on here, but I just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you this morning! [[[hugs]]]

Original poster

naswm · 05/09/2006 09:50

Thanks smoggie that means a lot Nx

OP posts:

CaptainDippy · 05/09/2006 10:33

Ditto to smoggie!! [hugs a plenty - let us know how it went - thoguhts and prayers. xxxx

navymum · 05/09/2006 10:50

Hiya. I'm new here, and I wondered if I could get a little insight and support, as I feel all alone...
basically:
This is my second pregnancy, and I suffered from depression during, and eventually stronger stages of it after the first pregnancy. I am under extreme emotional stress with this pregnancy because I have moved to a new country(i'm american now living in the UK), away from my family and friends and have just found out that my husband,(this will be his first child) who is in the military, will be away for the birth and for several of the first months afterwards. I only know one person in the area, and his family lives over 5 hours away. Unfortunately, no one is his family is willing to let me stay with them, and so I am all alone with my 3 year old during this. I am extremely emotional, crying all the time, and have begun lashing out at my son. I feel anxious, alone, and afraid that I will sink back into the degree of depression that I went through several years ago, when I had to be hostitalized. What can I do to stop this from happening?

Original poster

naswm · 05/09/2006 11:26

oh navymum, I feel so sorry for you. What a lot to cope with. But you have to talk to someone about how you feel. Do it today. Your midwife would be a good starting point. Ring the midwife's office - if she is not there leave a message for her to call you urgently, or speak to one of the others. Tell them exactly how you feel, and how you have felt in the past. Or visit your GP. There is help out there for you. It just needs tapping in to. Where in the country are you? I cant hang around now, but I'll check back later to see how you are feeling. Nx

Just thought of something else for you to do today. Ring Tommy's the baby charity. Speak to one of their mdiwfe advisers. Here is their number 0870 777 30 60. They are lovely and wont judge you, but will listen to you. I wish I had known about them when I was pregnant.

Please ring and speak to someone. xxxxxxxxx

OP posts:

navymum · 05/09/2006 16:30

naswm, thank you so much for your suggestions. i took your advice and went in to see my midwife today. she scheduled me in to see a GP (not mine, as he is not available) but at least to see someone asap to discuss my emotional state. i do hope it will help, but i am starting to feel myself slip away, if you KWIM...
i have to go back there twice tomorrow, for two seperate appointments, so hopefully that will help.
thanks again, for your kind words.

anniediv · 05/09/2006 16:35

naswm, how did it go today??

Original poster

naswm · 05/09/2006 19:51

navymum - well done. Keep me posted. well done again. x

everyone else - thanks for your good wishes. DS1 seems to have a good morning. I cried, but didnt feel as sad as I thought I might. So a good sign. However, DS2 has been sick all afternoon - not what I needed at all - so I am not feeling too good atm. I am trying v hard to cope and not let the illness get to me, IYKWIM. But, it is hard. It has been a weird day for emotions.

OP posts:

Original poster

naswm · 06/09/2006 10:18

how are you feeling today navymum?

I'm doing ok. DS1 ran in to school waving! DS2 seems better, thankfully. Busying myself today spring cleaning. (wasnt up to it in April lol)

OP posts:

navymum · 08/09/2006 11:40

naswm, i thought i posted yesterday, guess i never finished, odd. at any rate, i'm glad that ds1 is enjoying himself. so sorry to hear ds2 is poorly... always makes things harder. i think you did extremely well , all things considered. good for you!

i did see the gp, they have put me on meds, figured it's better to start them sooner rather than later in my case. i'm not sure if i am ok with it, i accept it, but i still feel a tad guilty about being on meds and being pregnant, IYKWIM.

Original poster

naswm · 08/09/2006 13:46

Hi navymum - good to hear from you!

Pleased you saw your GP. But dont feel guilty about taking meds. That is what they are there for. Your GP would have given you somoething appropriate. Hang in there and stay in touch with how you are feeling. naswm x

PS I'm feeling fine btw!

OP posts:

navymum · 11/09/2006 02:00

naswm,
so glad you are doing well! hope ds2 is feeling better...
dh came home saturday morning, left sunday afternoon... it was great seeing him, i think it helped ds deal with the seperation, anyway since now he knows he WILL come back. he doesn't want to go to school tho... hopinghe will forget that in the morning. it's 2.00 and I can't get to sleep. feeling a bit better, confessed to dh that i had been having feelings of hurting myself, but i do feel better tonight.
thanks so much for the support, it helps to have someone to discuss this with without being judged, KWIM?

Original poster

naswm · 11/09/2006 11:58

hi navymum - so glad you got to see your DH at the weekend. Did DS go in to school ok this morning? (have you read the book 'Owl Babies' btw? It's v good and all about separation. Might be worth seeing if they have it at the library. Well done for talking to your DH about how you are feeling. That must have been a big step for you. (Throughout the lowest points of my depression I have never spoken to my H. There were times when I wished I could have done, but we dont have that sort of relationship. Maybe if had been able to our relationship would be better now. Who knows? But enough of me!).

Do you have msn btw? I use it a lot, and would be happy to chat to you on there any time if you;d like. I cant print my address on here though as it is my name, sorry....Stay ini touch though. naswm x

OP posts:

Flip