Someone please please help me.

[Imsuchamess]

I have scizoaffective disorder diagnosed by my second psychiatrist and the psychiatrists at a psychiatric unit. I was stable on olanzapine but gained too much weight. So I was switched to aripiprazole.

Shortly after I was switched I attempted suicide as My psychiatrist was on holiday My case was passed over to a new doctor. The new doctor ignored that I was perfectly stable on olanzapine for a while and keeps saying that he thinks I have bpd as the meds are not working but he is unwilling to accept I was stable on my last medication and said if the meds are not working I must of been wrongly diagnosed so he is taking me off my medication.

I've seen many doctors up crisis who have tried to switch my meds but as soon as he gets wind of it he puts a stop to it and tells me off saying I'm going around him.

Well I've been believing I'm the angel of darkness and that I need to sleep with abusive men. So they get punished by God. Today a Sado masochist broke up with me. I'm finding it hard now I know I'm crazy but now I have to find someone else abusive.

I've also turned to drugs and the voices are urging me to go on harder drugs. I'm so alone I just want to die. I cannot take this pain no more. I have had enough. I don't like the voices they are so loud and no one will make them stop!

I don't want to be this way anymore.

It's painful now I can't do what the voices tell me too. I just want to be abused to shut them up!
I'm so scared I don't want to lose my medications. While they are not stopping my psychosis fully they do calm it down.

This has taken everything from me I hate hate hate it. It's like a cancer eating away at me and the only way to be rid of it is if I die. I told all this to my psychiatrist yesterday and he sent me home saying he was gonna stop my meds he is not offering therapy or any alternative. He is seeing me in three months when he will stop my meds.

There is no where left for me to hide and I am being forced down the road of drug addict and I won't be like my father.

I also asked for my cpn back as I was discharged when I was well on the olanzapine but he said no.

My family want to make a formal complaint but I don't feel strong enough.

The only way I found out recently to get proper help by uninterested MH bods was to threaten to sue them if my close family member did manage to kill herself. Hearing I had kept a detailed log put the wind up them.

Try and remember everything that's happened.. round up all your appointment dates and let your family make a complaint. It's a pity the lengths you have to go to now to get help. You deserve some peace. :(

I've had a similar problem, but no where near as bad. It's abysmal how you're being treated. I asked to move to a different pdoc, which happened. Admittedly, the pdoc I was seeing wasn't as much of an arse as yours.

Can your family take things up for you and demand a second opinion, or to move to a different pdoc? As far as I know, you have a right to do this. In these situations, I think it really helps to have a 3rd party complain--otherwise MH services can just pass your complaints off as part of the illness.

Thanks both dh is going to go and ask for a different doctor tomorrow.

I hope you get somewhere. Make sure your DH pushes them and remember there are MH advocacy groups and PALS if they resist.

Thanks dontrunwithscissors.