Still very depressed.

[superstarheartbreaker]

Suicidal thoughts. Will not act on it. I'm just desperately lonely and sad about being alone. Just feel like my life is shit.
Are anti depressants the answer? I don't want to get fat. I feel like I'm living a life sentence ATM.

Go to your GP and tell them what you have said in your OP.

AD's don't all make you fat, they can take a few weeks to be fully effective but they do pick you up enough that you can then start to feel better.

Also may be worth asking for a referral for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) which gives you the skills to cope with your feelings.

Good luck, just remember that you feel bad now but you won't always feel so bad honestly.

Re: feeling alone - once you are feeling happier it will be easier to make new friends / socialise more / find a boyfriend or whoever.

Talk to the GP about your problems and he/she can decide the best course of action. If you aren't happy with your GP then see another one.

Will go to go soon ... I really could do with citralopran I just have it in my head that my abusive ex ruined my life 10 years ago( I ended up in a psychiatric ward and had to drop out of university. He controlled what I ate etc.) it he mental scars are my life sentence and haunt me every day. I have had CBC but nothing can take away the pain, anger and regret.
My ex also stopped me from being with the love of my life who now lives in my home town. I feel very sad about this.

Cbt I mean.

The abusive ex may have ruined your life 10 years ago, but don't let him ruin your life today as you only have 1 life.

Get help to deal with this, if CBT didn't work some other kind of psychotherapy or counselling might.