Can you help me write a letter please?

[IAmDoneNow]

I have sent off what needs to be to the ombudsman. I have one set of tests left and I am done. I have kept going for years for the children and for the truth. There is nothing to go on for now.

Can you please help me write some letter for my children please.

I want them to know they are loved and this was not their fault, that I can't go on living anymore.

I have been treated badly my whole life, never been loved or cared for, had little kindness shown to me, been very ill physically and dismissed both myself and for them. I nearly lost them due to domestic abuse and medical and cafcass neglect, the court is now aware and a false accusation of munch by proxy, the court didn't agree and the children were left with me. Court papers out of context were released without court permission and I was witch hunted for years by everyone except social services. We got no help and were treated like sub humans.

I dont' feel safe anymore, I can't trust anyone, I am scared everytime I open post, hear the phone, meet professionals, there is a knock on the door. I feel so alone.

I am physically unwell, there is no cure for most of it, no treatment.

I have nothing to live for.

I am dragging my children down. They will do well with the money I can leave them and the freedom that will give them, there is nothing more I can do for them.

I don't want any help, I want to be left in peace, help is never help it is abuse.

My plan is not to use some medication that keeps me alive once I have had these tests, and to just die that way. I am holding out for the tests as they may help with the children's treatment.

Neither. There are other's who have speciality that I found myself via the charity and paid for private reports from, they advised the NHS and asked them to do certain tests an certain hospitals, this has been like drawing blood from a stone.

Basically my children and myself were on the verge of being destroyed by many professionals who got it wrong and I proved they were wrong they don't like it.

No the new hospital is an unknown quantity. They have no speciality at all.

My children do not need to see me be destroyed yet again. I can't go through it again, I can't do it again, it is like going to war over and over again would you ask someone who was war weary to continue to go back to war, who on top of it was ill and had ill children and nobody, no you would not.

I won't get help with letter or understanding, thanks for your help.

I am hated for showing these people up for what and who they are, they don't like being wrong and they hate me.

My children will be better off without me, they may actually get some love from their extended family now, because I am hated they get nothing from anyone. Once the tests are done they can't deny it anymore none of them.

The charity are banging their heads against a brick wall, they are small and this is a common problem, you think they can do more than they do.

Nobody wants to know they think you are mental and that these professionals are right and you are wrong and they run a mile from you, believe me they could not have invented a mental health condition to isolate someone and make it hard to get help than they did and then accuse us of it.

You are guessing at how I present myself, I gave people chance after chance they pretended to be nice and then they turn horrible you have no idea what they do.

It is the final test, all other tests prove I was right and they were wrong, I know from the pre tests and symptoms the same will happen with this.

I am done fighting, I want to be left alone, I am done being ill and bullied.

The irony of it all is that the professionals who did the witch hunts against me were the ones who were fabricating things and they were the one's who were diagnosing me with health conditions I did not have when they had no medical qualifications to do so. They irony is that they have behaved as if they have the condition they accuse me of having. I and my children have real physical conditions that have showed up in the specific tests that are not run of the mill. They were wrong and they don't like they were wrong, and that someone like me showed them up, they look down on me, believe me I have read what they have written about me on the files.

I have spoken to the charity again recently, they can't do what you think they can.

Yes not everyone is out to call me a liar, sadly most professionals want to protect their job, will escalate this and the person at the top of the tree will start a witch hunt and those below will join in, this pattern has carried on and on and on for years.

No, nobody, they abandoned me I was physically ill confused and then those accusations came and they obviously believed it about me, I would not want them back in my life now they have reassurances that it was not true and we were let down and it was physical as I was saying they abandoned me when I needed them, when my children needed them.

I read something once and it said that your friends need no explanation and your enemy will never believe an explanation. I don't want those people anywhere near me. The children have a chance with them, they will feel guilty I guess for what they did to us and be nice to the children now and it may heal the pain they suffer from being abandoned by those people for them. They will have the letters and they can all hate me and all will be well.

OP, I am having trouble following your posts and you haven't answered direct questions about your children's whereabouts or ages. I can understand that you may want to withhold information that may identify you and your family, but it makes it difficult to offer any useful advice.

I'm sure you must realize now that no one will give you tips on writing letters to leave for your children as the whole idea is so wrong, but people do want to help you.

Did you move areas to avoid social services?

Social services had no problem with me, they would pop up every so often when they got fed up of all the reports that professionals were making. I read the emails they were reporting the social workers to the managers and all sorts, social services were not impressed with it all and I can see that from the paperwork.

The reason I am scared is that the last social services did assessments and they attended a hearing, they knew what the court case was all about and they said the court case was a waste of their time, they said the judge would not have left the children in my care if there was an issue. They investigated the other concerns reported by professionals who were given out of context court paperwork without court permission and they found no problem. SS knew about things the professionals did not know about.

If people start reporting me to the new social services they may think there is something in it, I can't do this.

Sorry, I'm completely lost here. I'm really not understanding why, now, you've decided you've had enough. If this new test will prove conclusively, once and for all, that whatever condition you and your children have is genetic and nothing that you have done, then why give up when you are so close to reaching the end of all the grief? Surely this is a new beginning, not the end? New social services/medics/whatever will see the test results and hopefully you'll now get help with the condition? You've obviously been through a lot but it sounds like the worst is over and there IS now light at the end of the tunnel? Why give up now? Please reconsider.

I have not wanted to live for years on and off, what kept me going was the children needed me and I wanted the truth to come out. The truth is out, though not accepted at the moment by some, the tests can't be denied though.

The children soon won't need me they are not little.

I want to not live in this world, I don't like what I have seen from people. I am not well and I am not able to function well physically and mentally due to the physical health conditions and my mental health is beyond repair from the damage they have done calling me mental and all that went with it, all the witch hunts, when I and my children were physically ill.

I have no hope of anything other than a life of reminders they made us this ill with continual difficulty with functioning in life every time I struggle I think if they had found this sooner and helped sooner I would be able to do things, I hate them for destroying my life, I will never recover from it physically or mentally. I was never bitter before, I don't want to live this life, I hate it and there is nothing that can make it better. Trust in other human beings is gone and it will never come back I have seen how ugly people can be and I don't want to be vulnerable and be abused again, we have all seen the careworkers in video's family's took and what they do, I am ripe to be abused over and over my whole life I don't want it again.

But your children do need you, they will always need you. I am 46 and there are times when only my Mum will do. I know resorting to emotional blackmail is a bit cheap but, really, your children DO need you.

You sound exhausted and at the end of your tether but things will improve now, I'm sure. Please get some help, please call the Samaritans. Life IS worth living.