"putting the SPRING back in our step - village support for depression and anxiety"

[LEMmingaround]

Heres the new thread guys. What is this, thread 9?

This is a thread that is situated in a virtual village of support for those suffering from mental health issues, or just those struggling with what life throws at them.

Please feel free to join in.

Khim - is that you? your NC is so sad - i always feel like throttling your Dh. You are doing a great job with your DC, it must be hard in a flat - you don't say which country you are in. Do they speak English? Do you speak the language? Can you get out at all during the day? What does he think looking after the children is if it isn't contributing :( So much of your self esteem issues come from this man - he has worn you down. Its him darling, its not you. Your children love you and need you, don't let him make you think anything else.

Sad maybe, but true. Yes, the DC speak English, because I always speak it to them. But DD prefers DH's language and has more words in it and DS has (probably) quite a language delay. I get out as much as possible, if we stay in DS starts trashing the flat. Which is the problem at the moment. It's been such nice weather, I've only been home for meals, both the DC are ill, the flat is a tip because were home long enough for them to make a mess whilst we're here, but not for me to clean it. If I stay in to clean then it's a disaster because trying to keep an eye on them and clean another room is nigh on impossible. I am on a permanent holiday, expecting to be kept and just spending his hard earned money. I speak enough language to get by day too day, (too much for the unemployment to send me on a course, too little to get a job using it). Not supporting him at all. I don't think they do we'd me long term, they'd be far better off with someone else who can look after them better than I can. I can't cope with DS at all and I'm starting to dislike him :(

So what exactly does he expect you to do? You are supporting your family. You are looking after your children. You are thier mother and that trumps everything else. You need to be at home to look after them.

TEL you sound a bit like I was. How on earth did everyone else manage so fine, when I was just me with the DC and in a miasma of miserable inaction in the house (though fine when I got out)? Answer: they weren't married to my Ex.

kernow the fact that Seroxat didn't suit you is information that your GP can use in prescibing a more effect med for your physiology, a short course of which might get you better enough to address underlying stuff.

(For me, Seroxat worked wonders, am still on small maintenance dose. It also helped me find the strength to address the problem of my Ex, 15 years after the time I described above, which was early in marriage, while Ex was still working f/t)

I spent decades hiding my misery from family - but it sounds like yours should at least understand? It might even help them - you could approach mh problems as a family team??

Rubbish day today - woke up anxious and it hasn't really left, although i did get to go on a walk with DD's class this morning. DD was pleased that i could be there. I am struggling with my diet today, just craving sweet stuff - felt like crap so had a big bowl of the casserole i made yesterday, i have to say, it was bloody lovely, but now i feel guilty. I hope this low isn't due to my diet - ive lost half a stone - only another 4.5 to go

How are you today CiQ? sorry, not keeping up with thread very well.

Hi all,

thanks for asking lem I'm good, just shattered! Finished my painting - will have to try and post it here.... which was good. A run of busy days and now unexpected house guests at the weekend. Will have to get another early night!

Sorry to hear about your anxiety today. Have you had enough sleep and exercise the last couple of days? That's amazing that you've lost half a stone - how long did that take?

tel you are being a mother and running a home - that is your job. So sorry to hear you're having such a tough time.

cynthia, kernow and everyone else hope your days have been ok.

That's a great loss LEM, I haven't lost any yet (but coming up to time of the month).

I'm not catching up either, but thinking of you all!

Hello everyone - sorry can't remember new names but a big HELLO to you. I wondered where you were Lem when I popped back into the thread - I definitely think you are Headgirl now that Vicar has gone and Ed too as I think she was the deputy!! In a way it's good that they've gone, which must mean they are fully recovered. I saw Vicar on another thread - can't remember what - it was a bit weird really, but good to know she was ok.

What is this fitness pal of which you speak Lem and I think you are doing something similar Snowy - if it's anything to do with smart phones or any other kind of IT gadget I won't be able to do it, as I am very limited with IT skills.

Hello SPC I haven't forgotten you..........my friend found seroxat really helped her too. The trouble is as we know what works for one person doesn't for another, just to confuse us all a bit more.

You can do myfitnesspal online rather than on your phone, here.

I really dislike anxiety, and now having sought help I'm reading all these articles about babies being taken at birth, although I'm sure gestational OCD isn't a reason for them to do so. Time to put my feet up and relax, I actually don't feel to bad.

They wont take your baby! i promise you that - i have been suicidal in the past year and also when my DD was a baby, there was no mention of social services or anything like that, they just wanted to get me well. Which they have.

Nana - snowy is right, you can do it online too, i do both online and on my phone. Its a good way to keep track of what you are eating. I don't want to be headgirl I'm more of a follower than a leader :)

Really struggling today, not felt this bad for a long time :( I am anxious over a job i am doing with DP and my flapping is wearing off on him - this cost me two jobs, my inability to cope with the tiniest amount of pressure - FFS, when is it going to end? I can't carry on through life taking the easy options all the time because i can't face any pressure.

CiQ, just over two weeks, which is quite quick really but i do think you tend to have quite a big loss at the begining of a diet so am actually hoping it slows down a bit as i don't want to pile it back on. Am managing ok without alcohol although i'd really love a big glass of red wine more than anything just now. That is brilliant news about your paintings - my DD is getting lots of "commisions" for her pet portraits but the dozy mare isn't really charging for them - but hey ho, its boosting her confidence and she needs that.

Thanks for the link Snowy - I've signed up - just hope I can understand it as I can be a bit dim over IT stuff. How are you by the way?

Sorry Lem for conferring headgirl status on you without asking! We don't really need a headgirl, I was just being a bit flippant. Sorry you've had a crap day today - I know this sounds a bit basic but do you do the breathing thing for the anxiety. I do find it helps a bit. I've made 3 stupid mistakes while driving today which is quite a lot in one day, so think I was more anxious than I thought and shouldn't have driven so far.

I am going to a Mindfulness/Meditation class on Sunday afternoon - it's runs by a Buddhist Monk, and they've been practicing meditation for over 2000 years I think. It is supposed to be really good for depression and anxiety. Has anyone else tried it?

And NO becomingmom - no one is going to take your baby from you. Incidentally what is gestational OCD - I know what OCD is but not the gestational bit!

gestational = whilst pregnant.

Nana - im not offended by the headgirl title, i am flattered, but we are all in this together :) I do need to learn to breathe - i generally don't, especially if i'm stressed, i end up with trapped wind because i don't tend to breathe until i have to then i end up gasping mouthful of air. I can't drive - its best that way

Honestly the amount of times I've gone to triage thinking there is a problem, and the baby is fine. I'm often scared they'll just think I'm nuts and take her. But that is the nature of OCD. I got over my fears of miscarriage, and still birth now this is the new concern. I've just decided that being anxious is living in the future, and I can't confront something that is unlikley to happen in the next 4-10 weeks. I'm just going to look forward to being a mum.

It is very common for mum's to be worried about all of those things, there is nothing unusual about that. Sometimes when i am anxious having a panic attack i think my head will explode - obviously it doesn't. My therapist once asked me to think about what does actually happen, and what happens is, it goes away - your body cannot physically maintain that level of anxiety so it goes, i just sit it out. I was convinced i was going to lose my baby, convinced there would be a problem etc - this was before i realised i had issues with anxiety. Have you mentioned this to your doctor at all? I honestly think the only risk is that you'll get a dismissive doctor who will tell you its natural to worry and to go away and enjoy your pregnancy. If you get a sensible doctor they will talk to you about how you feel, reassure you about the stuff they can reassure you about and more importantly, be aware that you have anxiety issues and that this needs to be monitored after the birth. Not because of taking the baby, no way would they do that, but so they can give you the support you need. This may be medication, or it may be counselling, it may even just be advice on relaxation techniques. It is definately worth mentioning. Because you are right - you need to relax and enjoy being a mum, its a precious time and you sound like you are going to be a brilliant mum.

I recieved CBT and was discharged because I can get myself to a point where I just rationalise. I do have an appointment with a consultant about medication but then I feel that it supports my fears because I'm highlighting that I wan't help. But to be honest the baby is due soon and then OCD stops being a problem shortly after... I just think that the health visitors will be keeping an eye out for post natal depression. With anxiety its almost like the brain just want's something to be concerned over and now because I'm comfortable about other things it's going to be about social services. I think it's because I have been into triage alot, and did go into MDAU to have something explained to me further. Fundamentally all I reinforce to myself I will be fine, the baby will be fine and no one is going to take her away. Thanks also for your advice it is good to talk to someone who can understand these issues from a similar perspective.

Hello all and welcome to the other new comers. How's things today?

SOrry, I am so low at the mo I haven't much to give in terms of support : (. But I hope everyone is hanging in there today. And has some real life support.

I am waiting for DH to come home from a week away and don't know how to tell him I'm down again, after years of being fine. My symptoms are pretty somatic so he'll probably know. Also need to decide wherther or not to take time off work - GP offered to sign me off for a bit. I think it would really help me big time but there is so much on at work and it's a week that the last year's built up to so I feel awful about it.

Any room for a newbie? I'm a psychiatrist who also has rapid cycling type I bipolar disorder. I'm well at the moment but had a horrific psychotic episode last summer and was off work for 4 months.

Nethuns so sorry that you feel you are going downhill after such a long time being well. It does sound like you have been through a hell of a lot and it has caused a relapse in your mental health. I think that if you have one severe episode there is a 50% chance of having a further episode. I can imagine how you are feeling waiting for DH to come home. Any idea of his reaction: disappointment, empathy (hope so)

I think you definitely need to take time off work - no one is indispensable you know. If you had a physical illness you would need time off, and I think with mental illness there is even more need to take care of yourself, and concentrate on having some time to rest which will aid your recovery.

My depression is intermittent (usually approx. 80% good and 20% not good or bloody awful) but the first 3 months of this year have been horrendous with under 50% of good days, so it's been very tough. I hate having to tell my DP it's a bad day, not because of his reaction because he is always kind and supportive but I just feel I am letting him down. I am fortunate in that we are retired and family grown and we are grandparents, so no worries about work or the care of small children as many of you young moms have to worry about. I honestly don't know how some of you manage because on my bad days the mornings are awful and I stay under the duvet as it feels a bit safer.

Lem how stupid am I re gestational OCD! But thank you anyway.

Sorry can't remember anyone else - wish I could hold things in my head better but I get really mixed up with people's posts. I used to have a really good memory but put this down to my ageing brain cells.

Mentalpsych I'm sure you are most welcome and will probably be inundated with requests for advice! I did wonder why you were including the word mental in your nickname - it's just that it seems to reinforce the tremendous stigma that is still attached to mental illness. Glad you are well at the moment. I read a book about a psychiatrist with bipolar disorder (Kay Redfern? ) or something like that anyway.

Are you willing to share your expertise - although of course I know everyone's condition is different and the meds are all so "hit and miss" etc but there might be general things you could advise on if necessary.

Ah no it was Kay Refield Jamieson - "An Unquiet Mind" I just checked on Amazon.

Welcome mental psych, that sounds really hard
Thanks nana I feel so exhausted just trying to keep it together for my kids,

Welcome Mentalpsychiatrist, everyone's welcome.

Hello again and thank you all for being a listening ear :)

I am feeling a bit better today (had a good night's sleep) and of course it's the weekend.

I am reluctant to go on ADs not just because of my experience of Seroxat, but also because I think a lot of the stuff that's getting me down is circumstantial and will change with a new job, which is something I'm working on at the moment. The family stuff is ongoing and shows signs of improving but yes, I do think I'd benefit from counselling and probably CBT too, so something to discuss with the GP.

I'm reading The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris and that's helping me look at how I respond to events and negative thoughts.

Welcome mentalpsych - that must be quite tough, with your job too - i hope that it doesn't interfere too much.

Feeling a bit better today - soooo glad its friday, its been a busy week and i was a bag of nerves yesterday due to stuff with a job me and DP are doing. The client kept messaging me all day for updates because her ex who is still living in the house was messaging her and saying the place was a tip and that dp hadn't done very much So all this was coming back to me and of course i flipped out - it was a minor thing, but you would have thought something major had happend, the level of stress i was at - it all turned out ok in the end, DP left the place really tidy (he always does) and had done loads - i think the ex was winding the clients chain, seeing as her new DP is paying for the kitchen and will be moving in as soon as the ex husband moves out - i kid you not! So i am at home painting her doors thinking she is going to be really fussy so tying myself up in knots trying to make them perfect - there were a few blemishes after the unercoat but managed to sand those out and have been really particular and im happy with them. Just hope the client is happy! But i am very frustrated with myself and realise how much my anxiety impinges on my life.

I used to be an occupational therapist before I became unwell.