I took an OD last night

[dontrunwithscissors]

I've been feeling so low and last night was the final straw. I had the most horrific nightmare. I just don't know how many more times I can go through this. I'm not sure how much I took. Told hubby but he didn't think I needed to go to A and E. I know it was paracetemol, dyhydracodeine and brandy. I've been sleepy/sick today. Just so lost as to what to do next. Sorry I'm rambling--just needed to try to get this out of my head as it's buzzing with so many thoughts.

Thanks. I told them I'd decided to not go. I think they were ready to section me if I was going because 4 of them turned up on my door step.

If you think that if they are considering a section do you think that should agree to go in informally?

Thinking of you, dontrunwithscissors

I think that the section 'threat' was only if I insisted on going down to London, which I'd already decided I wouldn't do. I don't think they're pushing hospital right now. I've had a good sleep and am feeling a wee bit better so I'm hoping that the med increase is taking affect.

Oh I am glad they are helping you stay at home, glad you are feeling a little bit better.

Thanks fluffy. I'm seriously thinking about hospital. I just can't cope with all the noise and work of home. I love my kids to bits, but I just feel at breaking point dealing with everything and these constant suicidal thoughts running through my head. I just don't know what to do.

It certainly sounds as if a spell in hospital would help. What did the team who came to see you say about the possibility?

I think being in hospital gave me a chance to have a break from day to day life, not having to worry about cooking dinner or cleaning the bathroom helps when your head is so full of other things. Hospital (as I am sure you know) can be very noisy and chaotic but you can usually find somewhere quiet. It would certainly give your increased meds a chance to work.

I suppose there are pros and cons, do you know the local mh unit? Do you know the staff there?

Take care x

Thinking of you op, a break would be good x

How are you today?

How are you today? I have to agree with the others that if you are thinking about it already, hospital sounds like it might be the right choice. Hopefully it will give you a chance to let your meds work and maybe clear your mind a little. I'm sure your family would rather you were getting better even if it means being away from them.

Been thinking of you, hoping your feeling a bit better x

Thanks for asking after me. I'm feeling so much calmer today. I'm still getting suicidal thoughts a lot, but my thoughts are so much slower and the agitation has reduced considerably. Quetiapine is a miracle drug for me--5 days after an increase, I feel it working like clockwork. Fingers crossed it stays that way. I went to my GP and have been signed off for a week (she wanted 2-3 weeks) so I'm hoping I'll be able to get back to work after that.

That's so good to hear. Don't rush it if you're not ready, but it must be reassuring to have a plan? Hope you get some rest tonight. Please.keep coming back and letting us know how you are doing x

I am so glad you are feeling a bit better :) I hope it continues.

I left the house last night and ended up being picked up by the police. I don't know whether to go into hospital or not. I need peace and quiet, and there's not a chance of that in hospital. Plus I'm stressing about work. I need to be back, but couldn't do a thing the way I'm feeling right now. Bluegh. Just venting.

It's DD2's 4th birthday today so doing my very best to be excited and bubbly for her.

Sorry to hear that scissors I hope you have managed to have a lovely day with your DD.

Can you do a list of pros and cons for going into hospital. It might help to make things clearer.

Oh, dontrun, I'm sorry.

You keep mentioning hospital. I have no personal experience but have visited friends. As you keep mentioning it, do you think maybe that means you should consider going in for a little while?

Could you ask to go and look around? Knowing what's its like may he helpful and you can see what the noise is like

Hospital may be noisy at times but it is a safe space for you with support around the clock and no one placing any demands on you.

If you are offered admission, you should take it.

You really sound like you need a supportive space right now. Work will still be there in a few weeks time, right now you are not in the right frame of mind from what you are saying to be worrying about work.

Take care

Thought I was getting better, but thoughts of going to the train station are running through my head so fast right now. I've been in hospital before--went to look around the new ward just a few weeks ago. But hate the thought. The offer's there, but can't face it at all.

Have you told anyone in rl that you are thinking about the train station tonight?

Yes. Spoken to crisis team. DH has locked the doors and hidden the keys. Just trying to keep control.

OK, that's good. I know it probably doesn't feel good but well done for telling them.

I really wish I had more practical experience to help, but I am at least here listening. Are the crisis team coming to see you?

Thanks Thurlow. I had some kind of dissociative state last night and DH had to stop me climbing out of the upstairs window. No memory of it. Crisis team have just been. I think thatin spite of whatever the hell gripped hold of me last nightI'm feeling a bit better.