I am looking after a friend with a diagnosis of bi polar

[Chippingnortonset123]

And it is a nightmare. Whatever I do, I get screamed at. I am currently trying to make cheese on toast in the Aga and whatever I do is wrong. The crisis team were visiting her twice a day and are now visiting her once a day, to give medication. Lamotrigine and an anti depressant - mitz?

Not to judge also, but I have a close friend who is bipolar, and we have been through alot together, but what your describing seems a bit more 'manic', and (I don't know, just throwing it out there), I just think there maybe something else wrong, alongside the Bipolar?

Mental Illness is such a horrible thing to suffer, your a great, great friend for doing what your doing, and for carers and friends can just be intolerable-

The shouting will not be intended for you, and your kindness to support will mean the world, I'm sure -

Are there lucid moments where your friend feels regret?

She is 63.
I haven't seen her in a manic episode, although I have heard about them. She is certainly not manic now; very subdued and a miracle that she was a) downstairs and b) eating food.

Oops, she has the crisis team visiting every day and is seeing a psychiatrist in early January so I guess that she is being monitored by professionals. I am not qualified to have an opinion.

chipping I think you described a (maybe lesser) manic episode earlier in the thread with her screaming at you? and now she is alot calmer, which is great? Does she ever seem regretful or upset with her actions? Only you as a friend know what is 'out of character' so to speak -

I'm sorry to ask, but can't help but think after reading your thread something is not right with the bipolar diagnosis, and there maybe something else there? xx

chipping your more than qualified, your a great friend who seems very supportive? I'm sure as her friend you have an opinion??

I think that when she was shouting at me she was panicking because she was lying in bed with the curtains drawn all day and I was trying to suggest things that would make her life easier. Like calling the Cinnamon Trust to walk her dogs, making a dental appointment, opening her post, cooking food for her. I was only trying to help but I did feel that I had to open her post, especially because some was from dwp and was urgent.
I maintain that I was right to do this even though she objected strongly at the time.

I am not sure if I am am answering your question Oops, but she refuses to see dh, or to have him in the house when she is like this.

chipping you can only describe what she's going through my lovely, and fair play to you for being there for her x

I do think maybe your describing something more severe than just a Bipolar disorder, so I'm glad more people are involved who can give the support needed - sounds like you've been a great friend -

Mental Illness is a very misunderstood and scary thing to go through, not only for the sufferer, but those supporting - so good for you for being there x

I think I should leave the diagnosis to the professionals. I see myself as supporting as I can and also supporting her dd, who has sn. As for the shouting and throwing things, I treat that as if it was said/done by someone in the throes of labour, ie, immediately forgiven and forgotten.
I did say that I realised that I needed a thick skin and I don't take offence at these things esp because that was at the time that the psychiatrist had completely changed her medications.
I appreciate the guidance from this thread. It has helped me to become more tolerant and to regard the problem as an illness with symptoms.

Sounds like bi-polar to me - at least, the symptom cluster that is called that. It can vary hugely from sufferer to sufferer. Quite common to be angry sometimes when depressed, as I know from myself. And to have a friend who accepts that and does not judge is a precious gift.

Watching TV and walking the dogs and eating all sound promising. Does she still express any suicidal ideas - not wanting to cast a downer, and the CT will know this anyway and be on the watch, but sometimes as people get well enough to act but are not yet very far along the road to recovery they can do the wrong thing

I would agree about opening the post from the DWP, as to let that get complicated could leave your friend with no money and a godawful mess to sort.

Bills need to be paid, no matter what. Also the dwp need to be dealt with, no matter what. I may be criticised but I have done what I have considered to do the right thing at the time.

Cross post with Sparkly. Thanks for the affirmation that I am doing the right thing by opening the post. Otherwise she would just be facing a mountain of post. I really appreciate that.
I did try to call the number on the letter but they needed her to answer some security questions and she failed them so I wasn't able to deal with it on the phone.

Maybe when she is better she could give you advanced permission to open specific post should the situation arise again.

Have a , some , and a Happy Christmas to you and yours.

Or - if you were prepared to do it - you might be able to be her Personal Representative? x

ATM I am just going to pick up the post on the way in
Would you send me a pm, Sparkly? I can reply but I can't figure how to send on the mobile.

Oh chipping I'm sorry if you thought I was prying by asking questions, sounds like you being a great friend - and def doing the right thing in regards to opening post etc - that's just helping-

Bipolar must have just a very, very wide spectrum of diagnosis, personally, I don't think it should be put all under that particular 'word', as depression/ mental illness varies greatly, and is very particular to that particular sufferer - no one person is the same as the next -

Hope you have a great xmas xx

Sometimes I feel brave enough to open the post and definitely without her permission.

Cross posts again. I have definealy opened her post for the last month. This includes post addresses to the addressee only. I have filtered out junk mail and addresses the most pressing problems. There is no one else who will do this.

All the ct do is deliver the medications. I would love them to do more. They do nothing else.

It is good to hear opinions but, in case anyone has not read the thread, my friend is visited by the crisis tram everyday and will be seeing a psychiatrist in early January.

Pm'd as requested.

Sparkly, I was only pming about the legality of me opening the post. Especially the post to be open ended by the addressee only. Not sure where I stand on that because I have been opening it.