I am looking after a friend with a diagnosis of bi polar

[Chippingnortonset123]

And it is a nightmare. Whatever I do, I get screamed at. I am currently trying to make cheese on toast in the Aga and whatever I do is wrong. The crisis team were visiting her twice a day and are now visiting her once a day, to give medication. Lamotrigine and an anti depressant - mitz?

She has been in hospital before. Her latest episode started after she got back from the christening of her grandson although I don't know why. We told the psychiatrist this. She keeps saying that she just wants to die. I have never seen her when she has been 'high', only normal or down. Last time she was down she just suddenly snapped out of it but she wasn't as bad as she is now.

If she was offered a bed, it sounds like they're thinking admission is helpful, so perhaps an involuntary admission may be next.

Precious bane, was your sister sectioned when she was up or down? I think, from speaking to her daughter, that my friend has only been sectioned when she has been 'up'. They seem to leave her alone when she is down.

I agree that it will be the med change that is causing this sticky patch. I have MH issues and a friend who has bi-polar 2.
Stick by her- try and remember it is an illness and she is not necessarily choosing to behave this way. Anger is a common symptom of bi-polar. Try to ignore the shouting and think of it as a symptom- I'm assuming she is not like this all the time.

Yes Peachy. It is good for me to remind myself of that.

I read the thread back and thought that I sounded awful. I was posting from her house and she refused to speak to me so I was just venting. I was very kind to her; just like talking to a toddler. I just got a bit frustrated downstairs. I know that she is ill. Dh is very understanding even though she will not have him in the house. Her daughter does day to day shopping and we do a big Tesco run on Saturday for loo roll, kitchen towel, dog food and ready meals.
She is very abusive and negative, especially when I open her post but I think that it is better to deal with it than to leave it to build u

Best not to let the post, esp from the dwp, to build up. I have texted her daughter about the cinnamon trust and the dentist. Personally I think that she needs medical treatment. But I am not in a position to say that. I am doing what I can and so is dh. The last thing I want to do is to stick my oar in.

I don't mean that she was abusive. Wrong phrase. She is very negative. I tried small talk and I bought her a newspaper and tried to make conversation. I talked about my Dcs and she picked out the negative in my every attempt at small talk . She criticised my kids.

I just rang her daughter; no change and she won't listen to us about the cinnamon trust. We both agreed that she is better than she was two weeks ago when she could hardly breathe. Is aid that I will visit on Thirsday afternoon. I don't drive so it is two buses. Her son still refuses to speak to her and wants her taken in. Her daughter is going to put the hot water on so I will try and force her into the bath. She refuses to have a bath and keeps telling me that she doesn't know how the hot water works!

I hope your friend gets/agrees to some professional help. It sounds a very difficult situation.

I have just had a long chat with a mutual friend. He has told me to break all contact and let the ct take over. I don't agree with him but I do think that she would be better off in hospital, if only for her physical health. I am going to call her Lisa. I did get her a gmail address and she used to use it but she now won't even go near the computer.
Her daughter texted me today asking if I had been round, which I hadn't, I went round on Monday. I don't think that anyone really knows what is going on.

When should the drugs start working?

I am just using this space for my own thoughts. I had thought of starting a thread when we first saw the psychiatrist two weeks ago. I am learning as I go along. I do realise that I need an even thicker skin than I thought I had.

Dh is ok with me spending time with her and doing a Tesco shop at the Saturday, unpaid, in case anyone feels like criticising me.

I'm sorry Chipping that you were getting a few adverse comments at the beginning of the thread, but I think you are doing a really tremendous thing for your friend. As others have said, most people will walk away from mental health problems. If she is in the depressive state of a bipolar disorder she will probably want to stay in bed, and become agitated and irritable.

I hope you don't break all contact because it sounds like she only has you and some support from her daughter. How are you coping - it is important for people caring for someone with MH problems that they care for themselves too and have time away to re-charge your batteries.

Would it be a good idea to talk with your friend's daughter and agree a visiting pattern so that someone is going in every day. I think you should offer only what you think you can realistically do without becoming worn down yourself. Then I think it is the daughter's place to support her mother.

As others have said she can only be sectioned under the Mental Health Act if she is a danger to herself or others. In severe depression people sometimes stop eating and drinking, and this can mean you are a danger to yourself especially if you stop taking fluids.

Which drug has she just started? If it is lamotragine, the dose Must start small and be increased gradually over 6 weeks or so. Same for weaning off. And it takes time to kick in.

I don't know about the mitz ad, though I think there is someone on another thread who has just had an ad with a name like that added to the mix. Did CT or anyone give you some idea of when meds might start to become effective?

It could be disphoria (agitated 'black' mania), or a mixed episode - it can be very variable, although I think the pattern for any given person can be slightly predictive.

You are being a true friend. As NN says, make sure you look after your own mh as well.

Could it be mirtazapine?

That is it. I don't see the ct because they visit at 8pm. I am just on my way back from visiting her. She is still lying in bed all the time but today she got up and made some cheese on toast. She made it, not me, which I thought was an improvement. She said that she ate some toast and jam for breakfast and her daughter is taking her a ready meal tonight. This is progress because she has previously told me that she hasn't eaten for nine days.
She said that her son refuses to see her when she is like this. It impossible for me to visit more often because I need to take two buses with a wait in between. The ct have suggested that she listens to the radio but she says that she hasn't the concentration for TV or newspapers or magazines. Whenever I leave she begs me not to go. I have no idea of the dosages because the ct manage all that side of it.

You can only do what you can do. CT should be giving support too.

That does sound grounds for modest hope.

Some people have said they find adult colouring in books helpful. Is she managing to bathe? At my worst, I couldn't face it, but actually if I did manage to have a bath or shower it did help.

She refuses to have a bath or shower. I used to try and run her a bath but she got agitated at me. I offered to open the post today but she refused and I didn't push it. The post goes into a box outside so I couldn't look at the envelopes to see if there was anything urgent. I will probably just open it when I go in at the weekend in case there is something really urgent, eg bailiffs or red bills. I don't think that her daughter looks at the post at all.
As far as I can tell, the ct just come round to give her her medications and nothing else. I picked up some shopping today. Although she kept saying that she just wants to die, I did think that there was some improvement today. She was breathing more easily and I could understand her. She cooked the cheese on toast herself and she ate it in front of me, as opposed to feeding it to the dogs. Perhaps the medications are beginning to work?

I hope they are, Chippingnortonset123

I am 70 miles away at the moment but I have had a distressed phone call for over an hour. I read some more on this topic last night and I have registered that some people on this thread are suffering themselves. My friend is pre-occupied with her teeth and talks about them all the time. I googled a dentist within walking distance and left the number and address for her. (She normally stays in bed so I left the details on the kitchen table). I rang to check that she was ok but she never answers her phone so I just left a message.
She rang back at two but I am in Birmingham. She had made a dental appointment for three. She was rasping in speech and very difficult to understand. I urged her to keep the appointment. I told her that it would only take ten minutes. She kept daubing that she needed someone to go with her and I told her that ds was working.
She was concerned that the dentist would call the police and that they would take her out in a stretcher or a police van. I kept telling her to tell the dentist that she was nervous and that the dentist would be used to nervous patients.

Quite bad today because she was inebriated. I walked the dog, opened the post and did some basic shopping. Her daughter is ill so it is just me. The ct are considering scaling down their daily visits.