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Original poster

I am looking after a friend with a diagnosis of bi polar

97 replies

Chippingnortonset123 · 09/12/2013 13:09

And it is a nightmare. Whatever I do, I get screamed at. I am currently trying to make cheese on toast in the Aga and whatever I do is wrong. The crisis team were visiting her twice a day and are now visiting her once a day, to give medication. Lamotrigine and an anti depressant - mitz?

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SnowyMouse · 15/12/2013 13:35

Have you been there when the CT have come? (I appreciate that may be difficult). They need to know what's going on, as it sounds like you're taking on a lot.

Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 15/12/2013 14:37

No. I was there when the psychiatrist visited about two weeks ago and that was when the medications were changed. The ct visit at 8pm at night. I am quite concerned that the ct are planning to scale down their visits, especially because her dd is now unable to visit. But I don't know what to do now.

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SnowyMouse · 15/12/2013 14:42

Do you have access to the CT's phone number? Would your friend let you talk to them about the support you and others can/can't give? I know this may not be workable as your friend would need to give permission.

Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 15/12/2013 15:07

Believe me I have thought of that.

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SnowyMouse · 15/12/2013 15:13

Sorry Xmas Sad

Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 15/12/2013 15:21

Thank you Snowy. It is good for me to hear suggestions and experiences. I can't help feeling that she should be in hospital but I know that that is what she dreads. I am not family so there is little that I can do. Thanks for your input, btw.

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FreakinScaryCaaw · 15/12/2013 15:31

You're amazing. Am glad you haven't given up on your friend and hope she gets the help she so desperately needs. She must be going through hell.

SnowyMouse · 15/12/2013 15:45

This is what rethink say, don't know if that helps. Some trusts have contact info for their crisis teams online.

Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 15/12/2013 18:27

But there is no point calling the ct because they are going in every day at 8m anyway.

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SnowyMouse · 15/12/2013 18:34

Do CT know your/the family's view of what's happening. From a personal perspective, when I was unwell I couldn't see it, so would tell CT I was fine.

Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 15/12/2013 18:59

It is difficult for me because I am not family and I know how desperate she is to avoid hospital bacause she thinks she will never come out and she is terrified of losing the dogs. I am going on holiday over the new year so I don't know what will happen then. Thanks for the rethink page; I had looked them up but I missed that.
I have considered contacting the ct anonymously but all they would do is visit her daily which is what they are doing now. In the last month her dd has rung the surgery and 999 and all that happens is that she is put back to the ct who tell her to have a milky drink and listen to the radio.

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SnowyMouse · 15/12/2013 19:10

It must be hard to be an onlooker and respecting how she feels about hospital (I hate it myself). CT are gatekeepers to inpatient admission, but they do try not to admit people, and they are known for suggesting distraction techniques like milky drinks and listening to music. A lot of people with MH issues don't find that helpful, but some do.

Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 20/12/2013 18:43

Quite good today. I have been frantic all week and L does not answer her phone. I popped by today to deliver milk, 20 cigarettes and some easy to eat party food that doesn't need cooking. The house was locked and there was no sign of the dogs. I jumped to the conclusion that she must have been taken to hospital but left the shopping outside the door and went to the local dog walking place. I found her ther, walking the dogs. This is a huge leap forward for her.
She complained that I hadn't been round all week but seemed pleased to see me. She said that the ct were coming in an hour. Apparently they tried to scale down their visits and left her with two days of medications to take herself. She just took them in one go. They told her off for this and are back to daily visits.
The good news is that I can spend both Sunday and Monday evenings with her.

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SnowyMouse · 20/12/2013 18:49

That all sounds good Chippingnortonset123 I hope you all have a good Christmas, you are a good friend.

Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 21/12/2013 09:46

It is good. Normally she is in bed.

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Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 22/12/2013 22:52

Not so good today. Mainly In bed apart from the shopping that I picked up.

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DollyTwat · 22/12/2013 23:15

Chipping you are such a lovely friend
Such a shame that the much needed help just isn't there for people. She's very lucky to have you

Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 23/12/2013 00:00

Well, she did eat three spring rolls in front of me and if am going to be with her tomorrow night and will take more food.

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Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 23/12/2013 00:02

I am, not if. (On phone and tired!)

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Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 23/12/2013 00:05

She tells me that she has been offered a bed but she refuses to take it.

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Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 24/12/2013 15:46

Much better last night. We ate some food with her daughter and watched tv together. It even felt quite Christmassy with the complaining about the weather and low level bickering!
I gave her some chanel5 soap, which she loved. I am hoping she will use it because she is reluctant to wash.
I kept telling her how good it was to see her up and she said that she is better when she is distracted. This is not strictly true because many a time I have sat downstairs with her in bed refusing to speak.
Another friend is able to visit on Christmas Day and she hasn't seen him for ages so that will also be distracting.

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Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 24/12/2013 15:48

Also, the Ct are visiting every day for medications and she seems to be walking the dogs now.

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SnowyMouse · 24/12/2013 15:48

You are such a good friend Xmas Smile

oopsadaisyme · 24/12/2013 16:04

chipping I agree, you do sound such a good friend, can I ask how old she is? x

Original poster
Chippingnortonset123 · 24/12/2013 16:10

It does sound better, doesn't it? She has had no interest in the radio or tv or any media. Last night she watched something by Nigella on her own and was actually chatting about it and she made a point of wanting to watch the news. That might sound like very little but it is a leap forward from a month ago even a week ago.
Dh picked me up well past eleven and we gave her dd a lift home (there was a howling gale). Her dd seemed relieved at the whole evening had passed so (relatively) well.

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