How do you know if you're having a breakdown?

[Givemebackmyipad]

Is it possible to have one and hide it so well that no one notices? Not that anyone here knows me well anyway, except DH who tries his hardest not to acknowledge that I have any feelings.

I can't find the words to explain to anyone why I feel as if I'm falling apart. I feel like they'd laugh at me and tell me to pull myself together.

Sorry to hear how you're feeling. Make an appointment with your GP, it won't matter how you manage to describe how you are feeling (or it shouldn't), s/he will take you seriously and can refer you for help.

Thanks Janey. I wish I could. We moved away from the UK 7 months ago, and I'm ashamed to admit we're not registered with a doctor here yet. It's my job to sort out, and I just find it overwhelming trying to understand how our health insurance works and how to go about choosing a GP here. I used to be fairly competent and now I'm just an idiot who can't make important decisions.

I don't even know if our insurance would cover mental health stuff.

Is there someone you can ask for advice about getting registered?
In the meantime, there are lots of books and online resources you could look at. Try searching for CBT-cognitive behavioural therapy. It may help you address patterns of negative emotions/worry/anxiety.
You've made an important first step in getting better, well done.

Thanks for replying fruitandnutti. Today was better.

We came here for DH's job and I'm at home during the day with 2 very small children. It's just so relentless. No other expats as far as I know, but at least it's an English speaking country.

I want to pull myself together but it's all I can do to make it through each day. The children are so demanding and I spend all day trying to meet their needs and keep on top of housework. And failing at both I think.

I'll try and find the insurance company's helpline number tomorrow. I know we need a GP for the children's sake, but I just get overwhelmed by the smallest things and feel paralyzed and nothing ever gets sorted. Sometimes when I'm falling asleep a night I think I'd prefer just not to wake up again, ever.

Okay, I know now that getting medical help isn't going to happen. I tried to make an appointment at the family medicine clinic for DS yesterday. I spent most of the morning on the phone to the clinic (who had never heard of insurance provider) and the insurance provider (who transferred me around, all while my children were hanging off my legs and crying for attention). I had to tell everyone I spoke to why we needed the appointment, and it seems like I have to do this every single time anyone in the family needs to see a doctor; call the insurance company to get a claim reference number, see the doctor who will fill out the forms or send back to the providers who will then decide whether they will cover the cost or whether we will have to foot the bill.

Then we made it to the clinic, only to discover that my ID card wasn't in my purse, so had to cancel and reschedule. The receptionist made me feel like such an idiot and judged me when I said that we couldn't make the 8.15am appointment she suggested because it's a 40 minute walk there and I'd have to get the children up stupidly early. So poor DS didn't get seen and I cried all the way home.

I can't do this for myself. What if the doctor tells me I'm fine and just need to pull myself together, then the insurance company won't pay? I don't know what to do.

Sorry that was rambling and didn't make any sense. In short, in seems like accessing healthcare here is going to be massive pain in the arse and I can barely muster the strength to do it for my precious children, let alone myself.

which country are you.

Usa or oz? guess take healthcare for granted in uk.

usa

Mental Health America
Provides free information on over 200 mental health topics including bipolar disorder, depression, bereavement, post-traumatic stress disorder and warning signs of mental illness. Referrals to local mental health services. Distributes free national directory of local mental health associations and offers low-cost materials. Advocates to remove stigma of mental illness and for mental health benefits parity.
Voice: 1-800-969-6642 (Mon.-Fri., 9am-5pm EST)
Website: www.mentalhealthamerica.net
Verified: 8/30/2011

Nat'l Institute of Mental Health Information Resource Center
Provides information and literature on anxiety, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression. Leave name and mailing address and literature will be mailed to you.
Voice: 1-866-615-6464 (Mon.-Fri., 8:30am-5pm EST)
Website: www.nimh.nih.gov
Verified: 8/30/2011

oz

www.mentalhealth.org.au/

just thinking all these will have helplines , offer advice/reassurance and refer you to best place locally.

Hope you feel better soon.

must be so ard being in strange country.

Its because of kids you need to get the help you need.

if only I could take my own advice..

good luck and im sure theres some simpler way you just had a bad day.

Ok where i am you can just pay to see GP, can you afford that, check with receptionist? Maybe ask neighbours/dh's colleagues (or wives), school secretary/local FB group which GP they go to? See the GP and get some advice.

Dont worry about GP receptionist- they're fairly notorious the world over for being protective gatekeepers to GP.