if you feel those winter blues, move to our Village, spread the news!

[ThatVikRinA22]

new thread folks.....im losing track but i think this might be our 7th!

all welcome. old and new. This is a supportive place for anyone suffering with any type of mental health issue.

im on Sertraline (ADs) and have been since last December. I had 6 months off work with depression and anxiety and the ladies on these threads kept me going.

Feel free to post, to comment, to ask questions, or just to lurk and feel less alone.
everyone in the village is lovely.

Just found this thread, can I join in?

I've suffered with depression for ... Well, officially since I had an ectopic pregnancy 15 years ago, but actually probably earlier than that, looking back.

I don't take ADs these days, as I found the side effects unbearable. I've had some counselling, was discharged half a year ago with the option to go back if I need, but can't see how it would help at the moment.

However, finding life hard at the moment, as dh is out of work. I work part time, my contract is for just 4 hrs a week, although usually I do more. It's a struggle to get to work, I just want to stay in bed. I need to look for fulltime work, but am worried that I just won't manage it (some days I feel so ill, I couldn't work, ie around my period or when I'm suffering with IBS).

I have health anxiety and emetaphobia. I'm a coward and never assert myself. I'm even too cowardly to put the light on and read in bed when I can't sleep in case I disturb dh or to say what I want to watch in tv. I totally lack confidence.

Sorry for rambling on and really sorry if my post is inappropriate for this thread.

By the way, I do not wish to denigrate anyone's depression/mental health problems by what I said in my last post. Please take it as tongue in cheek self-deprecation.

solidgold A lot of that sounds familiar. I get really wussy in a relationship, I can keep myself on an even keel when I'm single, but i can't seem to do it when I'm in a long-term relationship. I'm blaming self-esteem and deep seated anxiety/ emotional issues. And counselling was a complete non-starter, because I went straight into "I'm fine, are you fine? Nice weather we've having..." social chit-chat. I was bloody useless at it.

Your pup is so sweet, Vicar!

Dismembered, yes, I'm just the same! Seems I have this stiff upper lip, where I can't admit anything is wrong, so I do the "yes, I'm fine, you?" too

I seem to have no backbone. I don't know who I am or what I want. I just do what dh wants all the time. I don't know how to be me. There is no me.

I don't get any time alone as dh has worked from home for a year before being made redundant end of June.

That so resonates solidgold. I don't know how to be me.There is no me it's like you give and you give, you've got all these hats you wear; mother, wife, housewife that you've totally mislaid the hat which says 'me'. And people ask you what you actually want from life, and you have no idea, because you spend all your life filling your obligations and doing what needs to be done. I also write, but sometimes it seems that even that is just another hat to wear.

(also, it's really late, I ought to go to bed!)

Its good to have you back UA, not so good obviously that you have been having such a hard time. Do embrace any real time support that is offered and take things slowly.

Hello to all the new members (residents?) - will have a look through posts later, finding scrolling hard just now as i have the mother of all stiff necks, its bloody agony.

I am chugging along ok i guess - its half term, i could do without this neck!

oh and Vicar that is one big fluffy cute BEAR of a puppy!! he is going to be huuuuge :)

SolidGold - please PM me if you want any advice about money stuff (it was that what pushed me over the edge the first time i got sick) as i have lots of experience in that department and may be able to point you in the right direction if you need help with it. x

Unfortunately, so sad to hear that. Hope you get all the help you need.

LEM, hope your neck improves soon.

Having a terrible day today, IBS is really bad and I've had to call in sick which I hate doing, but the pain is so bad. I tend to follow quite a strict diet, but slipped up over the weekend so that's probably why.

solidgold IBS is the pits. You have my sympathies.

I feel rubbish :( I feel rubbish because i went to take DD skating and it was good, then i had forgot my mum needed dog food. i got a bit jittery and my friend said she would drop me at the pet shop on the way home, but i didn't have coats for me and DD, friend said she would wait but i didnt want to put her out. By the time i got home my neck was killing me - it was raining, DP was home so he went for me in the car - we couldnt get my mum to answer the phone so I told him to ask the man in the pet shop if she had gone there herself (despite the bad back, she will go if she gets the hump, to make a point!) because i didn't want to buy the dogfood if she already had it. DP goes, buys the dog food and some diclofenic for my neck takes the food round, shes not there or not answering door - so i felt i had to walk round wth the food, pissing down with rain - no answer. I think she was in - i can't be sure, the dog was there - usually she leaves the door unlocked. I don't know if this is all in my head - but i was doing well, now my anxiety is through the roof. I just feel sad. I feel like a bad person because i should have taken the dog out before i took DD skating, but i was procrastinating, i didnt want to go there, i am starting to dread it. Its not normal. I just can't decide if it is me or her?? DP thinks she is running me ragged. I just dont know - the pet shop man said she was up at the pet shop last week

(((Hugs))) lem just off to bed but wanted to reply. From what I've read here and yr other thread I have to agree with your dh. She can get out and buy food... she can be manipulative and lock you out. Is it possible to just take a break from her for a few days to give yourself a break?

Really good hear about the skating - can you try and focus on that?

My dd said she had a really good day today which I'm v pleased about. I made it through ok. Not looking forward to tomorrow as much as dh not in to put them to bed. Tough weekend, still feeling rather fragile.

Hi to everyone else esp new people - will try and post properly tomorrow.

Night night

Thanks CiQ - am planning to do some making type stuff with DD tomrrow - if my neck allows, i can't believe it is so painful, but i think its just tension.

LEM, sorry to hear that. I don't know the background as I'm a newbie here. Great that you got out and went skating though. I always find doing things with dd very difficult, a lot of pressure. How old is your dd?

Today I've discovered that I like walking the dog, getting out alone and walking, getting fresh air. I don't like sport, I get dizzy easily, so don't jog or go to the gym, but I do walk the dog every day.

Hi everyone

I hope you don't mind me popping in. I was diagnosed with PND after my ds was born, I started on ADs which made me feel much better. I decided I was feeling so good that I would stop taking them - big mistake! I went back to the awful hopelessness, no energy/interest and general crap - at my worst I felt like I hated my eldest dd which is terrible. I went back to doctors last week who has prescribed me more, and I feel better already.

This is a great thread as it makes me feel that I'm not alone.

Thanks SG - i actually find life a little bit easier with DD around than when she is at school, although she has been a bit difficult so far this half term. She is 8 and going through a stage of being rude and grouchy (plllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaase can i have a few more years before she turns into a teenager!) and needing constant entertaining. My mother is a big problem for me, i am feeling quite resentful about it and then i feel guilty, its a bit of a vicious circle.

Hi Cheesy - you have come to the right place, its gone a bit busy here recently, lots of support here and you can just moan about the day, or even share the good things.

CiQ mentioned the "three good things" thread that she posts on, i think you have post three good things from the day - I have started trying to do this with a friend who doesn't suffer from depression, although he is quite down recently but just generally down - we have both struggled to find THREE good things. So that sort of made me feel less "different" from folk who aren't battling with depression/anxiety - we all have ups and downs, what i find is my downs tend to hit me between the eyes and i turn them into major dramas but the ups go by un-noticed. Making myself think about good things that have happened during a day is helping - but some days if i struggle its like affirmation that my life is crap (it really isn't - my counsellor would be mad at me!). If i had to list good things from today, which is a bit much because its only 9am, I could say - the tea and toast that DP made for me before he went to work and my dogs curled up on my lap. Its the little things, isn't it? Sorry, im waffling. CiQ I hope you don't mind me mentioning that thread, i haven't looked on it, ive seen it pop up in active and you have mentioned it, i have felt to scared to go onto it :)

Cheesy, i had to go back onto ADs, i just accept that i need them for a while longer. Don't be disheartened that you needed them for longer, it could well have been too quick withdrawal as even though they are not addictive (so they tell us!) you still have to come off them slowly. But hey, if i have neck ache (beleive me i do :( ) i don't question taking meds to make that better, so if i can have a tablet that stops me climbing the walls, then thats good too.

UA - you were probably really hungry which makes me likely to burst into tears at the drop of a hat, so that on top of feeling vulnerable about the blood test, hardly surprising really. Please don't be embarrased, i am sure they understood. Are you allowed to eat now - if so, then i prescribe some and

Hello again ua so sorry to hear about your dd. (((Hugs))) glad to hear you've been able to accept some help, thinking of you. Try not to be embarassed about blood test - you explained yr completely valid reason. Do you have any techniques that help with the anxiety?

Hi cheesy so sorry to hear about your pnd, but good that ads are helping again. I know what you mean about wanting to stop them, but sometimes we do need them - like medicene for any illness. Do stick around and keep us company x.

solid how are you feeling today? Hopefully a bit better.

The three good things thread is a good one and ypu dont have to post anything groundbreaking - can simply be had a shower (which I haven't managed today). I have fallen off the wagon a bit but will try and hop on again.

It does help to focus onthe good stuff, this illness seems to make me only remember the bad.

I am vvv lethargic today and struggling to function. Just have ds til 3 so am going to head out to national trust land shortly. Have got dressed but was due shower and hairwash... have got to get through til 8pm. Think dcs will be watching fair amount of tv today.

Bro inlaw v unwell at weekend - cant remember what I posted now. Diagnosed depression 2 months ago. Was improving but going back to work has sent him back. Completely hyper, talking non stop, endless ideas, no concentration. Completely reminded me of how dh was at end of last year. One good thing was he got to see what he was/soometimes is to live with. Really felt for sil she looked ready to snap.

Take care all x

Hi again everyone, and hi Cheesy.

UA, it's hard not to be emotional in that situation and when you're so hungry. I'm sure they understood. I have a habit of crying at the drop of a hat, especially at work, which is very embarrassing.

I'm still feeling guilty for not going to work yesterday. I am only contracted to work Saturday morning, but always do half day Monday and Friday too, so theoretically I didn't have to be there, but I know Monday is always terribly busy and I let my colleagues down. Also I've only been working there since February and don't want to lose the job, in fact I hope to get more hours if business improves. I just don't know how to cope when I'm bent double with pain. I need to stop eating c**p!

Today I feel a bit better and the sun is shining, which helps a bit. I'll go for a nice walk with my dog again

The Three Good Things is a good idea. I know I get wrapped up in all the bad stuff and tend to ignore the good stuff. I'll take a look later.

Just a quick wave to all & hugs :)

I'm in too much pain today to even lift my fingers :( & so so sleepy. going to hiberate in my room!!!