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Original poster

if you feel those winter blues, move to our Village, spread the news!

999 replies

ThatVikRinA22 · 20/10/2013 23:22

new thread folks.....im losing track but i think this might be our 7th!

all welcome. old and new. This is a supportive place for anyone suffering with any type of mental health issue.

im on Sertraline (ADs) and have been since last December. I had 6 months off work with depression and anxiety and the ladies on these threads kept me going.

Feel free to post, to comment, to ask questions, or just to lurk and feel less alone.
everyone in the village is lovely.

OP posts:
NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 28/11/2013 14:29

Hi Everyone.

I know I haven't posted very much but I would just like to say thank you for being here. I have had a reasonable couple of days.. I am not starting to feel the loss of the 20mg yet but I knwo it has only been a couple of days.

Sending everyone good and happy thoughts and would like to share this that I found on Pinterest. if all you can do is

JugglingFromHereToThere · 28/11/2013 14:47

That's great NeverKnowingly - I keep coming across lovely things by Rumi, and was surprised to find out how long ago he lived.
It goes very well with something by Pema Chodron (a Tibetan Buddhist nun) "Start where you are" - so often it might be nice to start somewhere else hey! The wisdom of that amuses me Smile
And just the idea of the journey of 1000 miles starts with one step.

  • I've put some washing on Smile
SnowyMouse · 28/11/2013 14:49

That's an apt pin, NeverKnowinglyUnderstood I'm glad you've had a reasonable couple of days, long may it continue.

I hope things have changed, drudge. I think hospital can still be pretty awful, but I may be biassed. Patients are good at supporting each other, I think.

SnowyMouse · 28/11/2013 14:49

Well done on the washing, juggling

JugglingFromHereToThere · 28/11/2013 15:05

Thanks snowy - I'm quite liking the sound of it going round and round - should put some on more often Smile
Car is a bit fucked though I think - just went out in it for little trip to the park - sounds dreadful - brakes I think, or something to do with one back wheel anyway.
Finding a garage is a nightmare isn't it? I always feel so ripped off, and can't afford it Sad

OrlandoWoolf · 28/11/2013 16:20

Did not get the job. Great interview. Great Excel skills. But someone had more experience.

Interview Number 16 this year. Rejection 16.

It is so so hard.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 28/11/2013 16:51

I'm sorry you didn't get it Orlando.
Try to take some positives from the encouraging things they said?
And try not to count how many interviews you've had except to show what a decent effort you're making ?

SnowyMouse · 28/11/2013 17:04

Hugs Orlando It's sounds like you're making a great effort, but it must be demoralising Sad

SnowyMouse · 28/11/2013 18:07

Time to treat myself with a chinese takeaway I think....I'm feeling Sad and Hmm

OrlandoWoolf · 28/11/2013 19:44

I was in tears afterwards. All I want is a job so I can just be part of something and feel useful. I am self employed as a tutor but it doesn't pay much.

Milkhell · 28/11/2013 20:01

Sorry Orlando. It feels like such a let down when you don't get the job because there's always that secret flicker of hope that you have. Nothing is wasted - you'll be more experienced for it. X

hoochymama1 · 29/11/2013 09:20

Lots of love to everyone today. Esp those with job issues.

I got accepted for a job, but had a letter from occy health yesterday saying I had to have an interview before I start Shock I was honest about the MH, and I had a crisis thinking I shouldn't have Hmm this job is for a LA, my friend who works for the NHS and also has MH issues says that OH should be confidential, and it's best to say about ill health...

I think it's best not to talk about the MH on an open app form, much sympathy to you orlando, don't give up, the right thing will come up.

Remember as well that under the Disability and Equality acts chronic MH issues count as a disability, and employers have to show that they are treating you fairly gets off her soapbox.

Have a good day everyone. House is a mess, but, bugger it, I'm off for a swim Grin

OrlandoWoolf · 29/11/2013 10:30

I was really struggling last night. I went to bed and just laid there from 9pm. My mind was really full of self harming thoughts - they had gone away over the last month but were back with a vengeance last night. It's just so hard.

I'm struggling with motivation at the moment. The ironing needs doing and the house needs tidying but I've had 2 rejections this week and it's just like the stuffing has been kicked out of me.

I don't know how to psyche myself up. I've got a book on mindfulness but it's just lying there. I have got no one to really talk to and if I ring up my Dad, he won't listen but will suggest solutions - none of which I want to do.

I've got 4 applications in at the moment - all jobs that I am well qualified and experienced in. I used to be a teacher - but was under so much stress and felt I was crap at it so I left. How do you explain that at an interview? I've done supply and various 1-1 jobs but the funding has always been cut. Some of you might have twigged my previous name - and know the other massive personal issue I have going on in my life.

How do you stay positive? I'm on ADs but I still feel crap. I don't know if they're not working or if I need a higher dose.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 29/11/2013 11:09

Hi Orlando - I've done some teaching too and also found it very stressful. I did find daily supply work was OK though if you can find the right niche, so could that be something to reconsider?
I'm also really interested in the idea of mindfulness ATM, which I feel is related to the idea of taking one day at a time.
For today maybe getting over this week's set-backs is enough and continuing to look after yourself, don't ask too much else of yourself? x
Regarding your Dad, I think some men can be like that when you share problems with them - they go a bit overboard on trying to fix things when sometimes you just want a listening ear?

Milkhell · 29/11/2013 19:30

Hi ladies.

I'm just wondering if this is usual for someone with depression and anxiety: I can't stop thinking about myself and how I feel ALL of the time and it's making me feel like an extremely selfish and broken person. I can't get my thoughts away from trying to find a way out of the anxiety and depression.

I love my DH and DCs and I want to fill my mind with thoughts of them but I can't get my head away from myself.

TheSontaranPussycat · 29/11/2013 19:39

Orlando give yourself permission to just flop for a bit.

Milkhell you are not being selfish - you are trying your best to make yourself better. We all do that - which is why the 'advice' to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps is so enraging (to me at least!) - don't people think that's what I've been trying to do? At its worst, the only place my head would shut up was in bed, under a duvet.

I also found that if I could just 'surrender' and 'accept' how I was feeling, it was usually the first step on the road to improvement, however slight.

Milkhell · 29/11/2013 19:43

Thank you for your kind words TheSontaran. Sometimes it's all you need to hear. You're right. We didn't ask for this.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 29/11/2013 20:16

Can I flop a bit too Sontaran? I'm knackered
At least it's the weekend x

OrlandoWoolf · 29/11/2013 20:49

Flopping tonight. I just want to get out of this rut and I know a job would help so so much. I had counselling just before summer and at the heart of my issues was wanting to be wanted and useful.

I am on the list for CBT. But it's a long long list.

DumDum32 · 29/11/2013 21:12

Flop flop flop..... Me too :(

LEMisafucker · 29/11/2013 22:51

Crashing :( feel so shit about myself. Been trying so hard to persuade myself im not a failure but its no good. Im hiding behind the pfa and being involved with dd's school. She doesn't need me. In fact im probably making her clingy being a helicopter parent. But the truth is im just using it as an excuse not to get a job. I know I can't do anything worth while and cant bear to fail again. I feel ive gone nowhere and im making people unhappy. Especially dd. I can't do this any more. I am going to wait until after xmas and then leave dp. I will give him custody of dd, but will help with childcare as I dont want his work to suffer and I can't live without her.

I feel I am letting you all down you are all so brave and try so hard and I just languish.i am sorry but I don't deserve this anymore

TheSontaranPussycat · 30/11/2013 00:35

LEM [hug] Brew

You are doing something worthwhile - you are coping with an intractable mother while maintaining the love for her, I think? - and that is a huge achievement.

And another thing you are doing which is worthwhile (and call me old-fashioned) is being there for DD when she comes home. Though they do not say it, this can be a v nice thing for the DC. It isn't so long ago that the state recognised this by supporting a non-working P through Home Responsibilies Protection, up to the point their youngest reached 16.

Now I know this was a blip that we BabyBoomers have benefitted from, and that times and demographics have changed. These days the norm is for both parents to have to work. Nevertheless, if you find yourself having to fulfil the role of SAHM, I think you can find ways to being fulfilled. (Hint: do the minimum housework, and get out in the world. Remember that any savings you make, are the equivalent of earning that saving - but don't overdo it.)

I have always been good at finding jobs, but sadly they have all led to depression (and only part of that was having a crap marriage at the same time). So for me, they weren't really the solution I thought they were going to be.

And apart from anything else, LEM, you are valued for yourself - have a virtual cuppa with me Brew Brew

LEMisafucker · 30/11/2013 07:36

Thanks that means aot. Dp isn't really talking to me and I feel so lonely

hoochymama1 · 30/11/2013 11:42

((( Lem )))

SnowyMouse · 30/11/2013 11:57

(((( LEM ))))