if you feel those winter blues, move to our Village, spread the news!

[ThatVikRinA22]

new thread folks.....im losing track but i think this might be our 7th!

all welcome. old and new. This is a supportive place for anyone suffering with any type of mental health issue.

im on Sertraline (ADs) and have been since last December. I had 6 months off work with depression and anxiety and the ladies on these threads kept me going.

Feel free to post, to comment, to ask questions, or just to lurk and feel less alone.
everyone in the village is lovely.

Lots of waiting, not good for the nerves.

Welcome NeverKnowingly - am sorry you're struggling without a strong role ATM. I'm not working ATM either, but being a mother is an important role too isn't it?
What sort of school are your DC at now? Could there be some voluntary opportunities there which might help you feel more valued?
Or some other voluntary work which interests you since you clearly have a lot to give?
Meanwhile don't give yourself a hard time about not getting a lot done during the relatively short school day. It's good you're caring for the DC in the mornings and evenings.
Thinking of you too snowy, everyone is there to help you (or should be!)

Hello neverknowingly

You sound a lot like me. It's a horrible feeling - like your life has ended and you've lost the old you forever.

I'm in the midst of it now but just wanted to say lots of women go through this. I too have so, so much to be thankful for.

Has anyone read the Linden method for anxiety. It's really rather good you know. If anyone wants to borrow it after I've finished they can - it's very pricey but I trust you'll send it back to me! Xx

Well, it's over. 4.5 hours out of the house for a half hour appointment

They don't think the brain surgery caused my mental health issues.

How is everyone doing?

Hi Snowy - oh dear brain surgery sounds like a very big deal. Do you think it caused your mental health issues? I think you've got a psych appt tomorrow haven't you. Hope that goes ok. How are you (marks out of 10 will do!)

Hello everyone else. Sorry I can't remember everyone. Lem I am a lapsed Catholic too, as are many of my friends. I spent half my life in church as a kid and stuck to it till I was in my mid-20s. My parents were staunch Catholics till they died in their 90s. If anything tells me I was right to give it up, it's all the abuse that has been perpetrated on children by catholic priests etc. Horrendous. And how the church have covered it all up. Beyond shocking.

On Vicar I know your son stresses you out. Maybe you have to be a bit more firm and stick to your plan to ask/tell him to find a flat for himself early in 2014. You are doing so well, and you have enough stress at work without anything added.

I'm not ignoring newcomers I just can't remember everything on account of my very ageing brain cells, to say nothing of the wonky neurotransmitters.

No, the MH issues were there before the surgery, I think. Thanks for remembering, I hope it goes ok too tomorrow

That's a good idea I think too, vicar

HOw are you doing nana?

.....and CRASH.

Shite day here for me :(

Oh Ed Big hugs, sorry you're having such a bad day

Hi all hope ever yones ok.

after doing my best to be upbeat feel today i crashed and burned.

feeling overwhelmed.

weighed myself this morning and that set me off bad mood.
combine with cold, 3 stroppy kids, house that looks like bombs hit it. hardly any nice food in house,hubby who havent seen all day, less than 4 hours sleep last night.

Barly been in my house today.
did easy snack tea
got 1/.3 asleep.
now putting other 2 bed early so can just chill in living room under a duvet as feel like running on empty.

stupid things seem to worry and upset me.

today i was quized on school applications at baby group and admitted i dont know 2,3rd choie and the deadlines 15th jan and i missed most of the open days.

Also usual see small boy still not talking.

Now have clash pf preschool xmas party and small boys dental appointment cant be 2 places so need ask hubby if he can swop knowing he say no. Its just having no backup no support, trying to balance their complicated schedule.

Tonight got down over xmas.

walked down main rd with big houses.
saw the pretty xmas lights in their huge porches and huge tree in bay window.

I can see why people get down over december the pressure seems immense im adding that to stuff to stress over.

Their houses looked so much nicer and inviting that mine.

Dident have enough money for bus so walked home in cold with 3whiney kids.As all the cars whizzed by walked miles today.

did most depressing food shop in local supermarket felt like crying at the conveyer belt. Stupid I know just looked so sad and pathetic.

saw one of my freinds whos always shopping, just moved to dream house and has loads of support yet she moans and thought what I wouldent give to have just a little less stress.

Going to take temazapam tonight and tell hubby listen out for kids. kind of miss the 1 zopliclone a night as trying to make temazapm last and space it out for few days.

Sorry you're so down, 3asAbird. I hope some 'me time' helps.

3asabird - look at it this way. You are coping WITHOUT the support, fancy house, spare shopping cash. That means you're a Wonder Woman. I bet she looks at your life and feels really shit that she needs all the support and you don't. I've got lots of support but feel that way about friends with none. It makes me feel very inadequate. X

Thanks snowy/,Milkhell.

Its not that im green with envy.

I really like her shes always as hubby says glass half full and im glass half empty I think if i had her lifestyle I be be bit happier,

The money worries add huge pressure.
This is usual end of month week before payday.
we have stuff in house meals just hubby will moan no chocs or cakes and i dont have energy or time to bake today.
I kind of wish we had some booze in house.

just feel frazzled was busy weekend just me as hubby was working
mondays always hard and was my turn volunteer at baby group.

normally im fine with walking but today with whiney kids, walked like 6miles and was cold just felt slight envy for all the mums round here in their mini coopers and range rovers. Thnk being in affluent area and feeling like the pauper gets to me some weeks.

I dont feel like wonder woman feel stressed and worn out and putting on huge show , trying not to crack up.

I hear what you're saying. I have a glass half full friend. She's so positive. I feel like I'm just incapable of it!

Ahh don't ever feel envy for material things. I akways think people in those cars look a bit desperate! And I'd much rather eg a pauper in a lovely affluent area for the kids than loving in a sink estate like we did once.

In fact there's a beautiful village near us where I would love to move to - would be happy being the pauper there with our 12 year old Clio

In hospital for a minor op &bored shitless! So shifty as well right now. Hate this waiting around

Hope it goes ok, DD32, waiting around is not good.

Hi snowy - I'm still fluctuating with depression and anxiety but mostly depression. It works out around 80% ok and 20% not ok - and that can vary between awful all day to mixed days where I pick up in the afternoon and almost always pick up in the evening. The only trouble is I never know when the bad days are coming and there is no trigger or warning. Can go to bed feeling fine and wake up feeling "closed down" empty, bouts of crying etc. I'm on 45mg mirtazapine in addition to 200mg imipramine and the mirtz are notorious for weight gain - I have to really be careful what I eat as I can't afford any more weight. The mirtz haven't made any real difference and I wonder about coming off them, but don't fancy messing about with the meds as it's all such a fine balance isn't it. You know what depression is like don't you Snowy. I consider myself reasonably fortunate as I don't have small children to care for, as so many of the young mums on here are in that position. Let us know how your appt goes tomorrow.

3asabird - oh god my heart went out to you after reading your long post. I wanted to come and scoop you up and look after you(!) comes of being someone old enough to be your mom or probably your gran. I think looking after 3 little ones is in itself a heavy load, without mental health problems on top.

And Ed - hope you haven't crashed altogether - hope this is a Monday blip - I know you suffer with chest infections - thinking of you and hope you pick up soon.

DumDum sorry I thought you meant psych hospital - didn't realise it was something physical, though being in hospital is no place to be when you're ill!

This wisdom tooth is causing my anxiety to go through the roof :( I am dental phobic, and really can't deal with the idea of having to get something done :(

Breathe, LV, breathe. It might be painless by morning - of what will be day 5 :(

Ed I'm sure this is just mondayitis - tomorrow is a new day x

Ive had a horrible day, had big row with my mother - she pushed me over the edge, ive had enough :( Feel so terribly guilty though, and sad - I know this is pathetic but i want her to ask me how i am, how i'm feeling, but it will never happen, i don't thnk she has had a kind word to say about me, ever.

I know what you mean about not having young children, NN You're right about meds being a delicate balance too.

LV, I hope the pain goes. Will you go and see an emergency dentist if it's still there?

(((( LEM ))))

I've namechanged but used to be on this thread. Had a job interview today and I practised for a particular Excel test that I knew would come up. Except I kind of got all panicked and just overcomplicated the task when I knew exactly what to do.

Just think I fucked up. I really need a job. I am having a bit of a crisis now and thoughts that I thought I'd got rid off have come surging back tonight.

I'll find out tomorrow about the job but I'm so self critical about myself.

Completely disillusioned with teaching.
Completely disillusioned with Girl Guiding.
Completely disillusioned with 'friendships'.
Completely disillusioned with motherhood.

And I have 2 lessons to plan for tomorrow before I can go to bed.

I just want to curl up under my duvet.

Poor you re. the late night lesson planning Ed - can you do something simple? I've done some teaching so I do sympathise.

Megahugs to all who need them - which sounds like pretty much everyone

Lollipop I know I didn't sound v sympathetic about your tooth (was hoping to provide light relief re teeth in general and mine in particular). There are dentists who specialise in dental phobia, and it used to be you could have ?valium drip while they did the work - things may have changed though. If there's a dental hospital nearish they might be able to help?

vicar hard though it is, you have got to let DS find a way to manage without you, or at least with you only supporting from the sidelines. Glad it seems you've found a little bit of support at work.

orlando hope it wasn't as bad as you thought. If you don't get the job, at least you've got a bit more experience for next time. (Although jobs don't grow on trees atm I know)

LEM it's easy to tell you not to feel guilty. But don't feel guilty...

Ed I hope it's a blip. Do you have a supervisor at college who you can confide in? Would it help to splurge it all out here?

snowy you got through it. Hope tomorrow goes OK.

3 your DH doesn't sound v supportive, if I may say so. Moaning about lack of cake?

Dumdum hope the op goes well.

milk and NN just sending you hugs!

And hugs and strength to all, including anyone/everyone else.

Hey, I did a namecheck post. Probably a one-off

loads going on with everyone here.....im sorry to read so many of you are still struggling.

ed i have those days - i burst into tears on my sgt on sunday. pick yourself up and dust yourself down - you know you can do it. i know you can.

nana, snowy thanks for the advice re DS.....we get on so well when we arent living together....we had a long chat tonight and i have told him i just dont want us to go back to the way we were - that said he has a new found appreciation for living at home - A) he has missed home like mad and B) he has had to cope alone (ish) - pay bills, do washing, get himself out of bed etc etc.....

im going to try and leave him to it a bit more - but i confess (and i have told him this) tonight i have been looking at flats and apartments for him to rent in Leeds....

im happy for him to get straight financially first - no problem and he has also said he would like to learn to drive while at home - no problem - as long as we can rub along together - if we cant he will have to go. ive told him i love him with absolutely every fibre of my being, but i cant cope with the stress as it was before. We will just have to see how it goes.

i have done a scary thing and made an appt with the bank - i have tons of debt and i need to get a grip of it. going to go and face it head on....its scary. its bits all over but added up it must total 13k.....i need to tackle it instead of just paying bits here and there. i need a new car too very soon....my old jalopy isnt going to keep doing the sort of mileage im doing.

so. im trying to get both kids bedrooms decorated/carpeted/sorted for early next week

then will tackle money.

then tackle work. again.

never - if you find the very frist thread way back this time last year you will see that both myself and ed were spending days in bed too....i was getting up to see the kids off and then sleeping the day away.
i wasnt getting dressed. or washing. or doing anything other than work and sleep.....thats depression. the nature of the beast.

im now on 150mg sertraline and i am almost a different person - i still get the odd anxious moment, the odd day i am too tired to do anything, but i am managing so much better. my gp has suggested i start to wean off it soon and im scared to death of losing the calm, unanxious and composed me that i have found....(well - 85% of hte time anyway)

the work stress hasnt gone. the bullying hasnt gone. im just coping beter with it. i dont want to lose that again. i dont want to drive home wondering what would happen if i just hit the central reservation.....and thats how ill i had got.

my heart goes out to anyone starting down this path....