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Mental health

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if you feel those winter blues, move to our Village, spread the news!

999 replies

ThatVikRinA22 · 20/10/2013 23:22

new thread folks.....im losing track but i think this might be our 7th!

all welcome. old and new. This is a supportive place for anyone suffering with any type of mental health issue.

im on Sertraline (ADs) and have been since last December. I had 6 months off work with depression and anxiety and the ladies on these threads kept me going.

Feel free to post, to comment, to ask questions, or just to lurk and feel less alone.
everyone in the village is lovely.

OP posts:
TheOrchardKeeper · 12/11/2013 17:15

was readmitted yesterday. Wasn't expecting that when i went to the doctors!

3asAbird · 12/11/2013 17:52

Thank you everyone for kind words

sorry dident realise until pressed enter how epic it was,

As I said to the gp my worries are genuine worries not imaginary ones and there are many guess with 3kids always be worrying about one of them at some point.

I have realised im slipping and

got some medication-but worried if that works then they wont give me any more.

Trying to make things bit easier even though costs money so

dd2 age 4staying in nursery until preschool come up with free day.

may put dd3 somewhere after xmas

Possibly for next 2terms when weathers bad will use breckfast club4/5days as hubby can drop her off on way to work.

Have aquantances at school who nice enough but would hte to ask someone to pick her up. Have sussed out who the childminders are for future reference.

We live out of catchment as had to move eldest at start of year 2 shes year 3 now and our lovely council have local siblings and non local siblings which makes dd2s chances very slim cant afford to move closer by jan 15th,

Have no issues filling out form its whats the 2nd and 3rd choice I only want 1 school.

Wish we could move bigger house.
We live in nice area but its suburabn hell full of cliques dont feel like met many could be freinds with.I used to be so sociable pre kids.

I kind of lost the plot in 2002 so scared of going bak there.

last 10years had maybe 3-4 short periods of depression where soug no treatment just passed.

Dont know apart from eating whats wrong with me this time round .I hate the panic attacks and lack of sleep.

I go between eating nothing and binging.

Im hoping maybe get christmas out the way the fog will lift.

Its easy to put on show as never with anyone long enough in the day for anyone to notice im not quite right.

I feel better alone and enjoying my own company.

Hv has no idea but says go toddler groups.

hopefully washing machine be fixed tomorow and landlord finally fix a few things.

right best go brownie run now and maybe chippy for kids tea.

Orchard-so sorry you poorly again and in hospital and hope you get the support you need going forward.
You put my worries into perspective.

EdwiniasRevenge · 12/11/2013 17:55

My eyes are very tired and weary through lack of sleep.

I've seen venlafaxine mentioned. Thats what I'm on. Its turned me around, where fluoxetine wasn't doing the trick.

Happy to answer any questions.

ColouringInQueen · 12/11/2013 19:06

3as hello. Reading through your posts to me it sounds like you're achieving loads despite a v tough situation. I'm assuming you've spoken to the school re your situation and got their advice.

What medication have you been prescribed? I know from my own experience it can be very daunting starting ADs even if you've had them before. If they work that's good, they wouldn't just stop them like that, usu people are on them for 6 months after they've got their heads back above water.

Can you afford for some treats for you eg a massage, or even a long peaceful candle-lit bath - anything you enjoy that helps you to relax?

I echo hoochy's advice about reaching out for help. I never did, but when I started to it made a big difference and people were happy to help. You dont have to be specific - you can just say im really not very well at the moment.

Take care.

Hi to everyone else. Hope you're hanging in there and had some sun today. My counsellor cancelled me which felt weird, ended up splurging on a friend I met with instead (hope that was ok!) Off later to a school meeting - exciting - not.

SnowyMouse · 12/11/2013 19:09

Just popping in to say thinking of you all.

3asAbird · 12/11/2013 19:46

Thanks colouring queen trying to get through each day and ensure each childs where they meant to be on time, well cared for and fed just about managing that but was 20mins late monday am.

Its the 2 younger ones if they play up enroute or we leave slightly late we doomed.

School have no idea. we pay £2 a day breckfast club so just asked if she could do 4days a week this term and they had spare places.
They know hubbys got new job thats about it.

They have no control over admisions so cant help there.

Have spoken to childminders as only way can logisticaly do 2schools.

The last month been piles of washing everywhere.

Think landlord coming look at fire, shed and garden gate so will make sure hoovered and any clutter n cupboard and run round withe air freshener and hoping man can fix my washing machine.

well managed brownie run and shops in dark with 2 kiddies they had chips and hubbys picking up eldest from brownies.

I washed up and hoovered downstairs.
made all the beds
school run takes hour each way.kids noramally fine unless they tired, its very ol or its raining hnece why think need double and better coat for me.

Need to inform nursery she will be staying for time being as gives me a slight break.

applied tax credits nearly 8weeks ago they not paid.
Its great hubbys working again and can understand why he does not wnat people to know. hes got his appeal with old employer next week as week as well as taking hims mum to dentist on his only day off.

my little boy keeps kissing and cuddling me which cheers me up.

Im ok if all 3 dont kick off at same time .

i do intend to meet up with couple freinds for drinks when next can .

Our 9year wedding anniversary end of october was dire we havent been out as couple in so long.

Im still stressy on rds since sept when speeding mum from another school nearly mowed down my 4year old at school crossing.

I was on zopliclone for sleep got couple left.

got temazapam yesterday as been on it before and thinking be more effective.

Im resisting anti ds.edwinas revenge greats its working for you.

its only anti d i was on in quite high dose and changed me did some silly things, used to get memory loss and even more down on it.
I used the temazapam as downer in uni as feltrelly odd and restless on venlafaxine.Then when i tried to come off it got the shakes really bad withdrawal. But my gp back then was not the best and handed out drugs like they smarties.

New gps seem funny about sleeping pills and are limiting prescriptions.
They also say i could talk , havent got the time, not sure im ready.
I know anti ds are an option and there are others just feel weary.

I need to function and still be me,Im not sure pills will help with the eating issues.

So much harder being ill with family least back then only persons life I could screw up was my own.

I dont know how realistic im being or if things will improve I know its stress related and trying minimise stress and keep drugs and booze to min..

Might have soak in bath tonight as joined the princessing tread on beauty.I thourght having hair done other week might give me a boost but not keen on it

LollipopViolet · 12/11/2013 19:47

I've had a couple of better days - hit the target my boss set me at work today, which was a big tick in the "good things" box as I've been so worried about my job performance.

Now looking at nice ice skating clothes - I feel so relaxed and free when I skate Roll on tomorrow night - Christmas skating show rehearsal :)

LEMisafucker · 13/11/2013 11:14

Struggling finding it hard to function cant do this any more its my mother again I don't know why I let her get to me. I let everyone down in the end.

notagiraffe · 13/11/2013 11:14

Hey Orchard, how are you?
Are you OK about being admitted? Are you getting the help you need? Has someone sorted care for your DC?

Just wanted you to know, you're in my thoughts. Hope you can get some rest and some peace for a while. (((())))

ColouringInQueen · 13/11/2013 11:57

lem ((())) can you get out for a walk in the sun, smash something old and eat Cake anything to get some headspace and get frustrations out?

Hi everyone, especially orchard and snowy and anyone else who's struggling today.

I am having a walking through treacle day, headache, nausea, did drag myself off the sofa to go for a walk and it felt like I was climbing a mountain... back to sofa. Have been busy last two evenings, but also starting to see a hormonal link - pretty sure I've been like this before mid-month. Not sure if there's anything much I can do about it tho!

DumDum32 · 13/11/2013 12:30

Not doing great had a bad night now really struggling to get through the day. Think i should go in but sont want to either..... Such a mess! Hallucinations, bad thoughts, bad memories!

(((hugs to all struggling)))

JugglingFromHereToThere · 13/11/2013 13:48

(( Friendly hugs appreciated, and for you all too))

Hey LEM, what has your Mum been saying that's "got to you"?
I've found my slightly tricky parents getting even more tricky as they get older. I wondered from what you said about letting people down if your DM is a bit judgemental - ideally parents should try to show more unconditional love and support I feel.

LEMisafucker · 13/11/2013 14:10

Thanks everyone - have had minor melt-down, poor DP had to pick up the pieces, had a letter from a creditor over an old debt, managed to get it put onto our existing debt management plan so hoping that will be ok, the woman i spoke to was actually really nice and because of my MH issues it has been put through to a different department, I broke down beause it was debts that precipitated my breakdown before and ths was one that seemed to have been overlooked somehow, although it appears I have been making payments Hmm DP didn't really know what to do bless him, he threatened to call an ambulance at one point but i really cannot afford an admission as there would be no one to care for DD2 when DP at work. To be honest though, i am not at that point. Just a bad day - my mum is an ongoing problem juggling i have started anotehr thread about it, she is very difficult but it just seems to press all my buttons, i am never quite good enough, ever. So the letter properly tipped me over the edge again. Now i have started to do a fecking soup for dinner and forgot about it - this is what i keep doing, forgetting about things :( DP wants me to go back to the doctors. Somehow managed to type out minutes from PFA meeting - i hope i haven't made any howlers! Still have to take my mums dog out

Hugs to everyone, need a huge group hug actually, especially to Orchard and Snowy xx

JugglingFromHereToThere · 13/11/2013 14:42

I think our parents generation are more prone to rather conditional love aren't they? Whereas with my own DC I feel my love for them is much more un-conditional. Though I'm proud when they paint a beautiful picture or I watch dd doing her Irish dancing mostly I just love them for being them, and because I'm their Mum. Also I hope I do take more of an interest in what is going on for them, and their interests, whereas with my parents it always seems to be more about listening to them talk about their lives and friends etc. and we have to fit into their life not them into ours.
Anyone else know what I'm talking about ?!
Anyway sorry you're having a bad day LEM x Soup sounds good - is it OK ?

ColouringInQueen · 13/11/2013 15:03

Hi juggling hope your day's going ok.

Hi dumdum sorry to hear you're having a bad day. What did you do about going in?

lem you are so not alone with the forgetting things. I help with some children's stuff at church. At the last meeting in oct we set a date for the next meeting. I didn't put it in my diary so had others reminding me - but by then I had double-booked myself. And then the first session that the first meeting was planning was this week and I only just remembered at 4 cos dh had left me a message about it. I think our brains are trying to do too much at the same time really. Any chance you can put some distance between you and your mum?

I'm feeling pretty spaced today. Maybe I just don't have enough to do? But everythings hard with this treacly feeling! Have to drag myself up to get dcs....

take care all x

JugglingFromHereToThere · 13/11/2013 15:31

Thanks ColouringIn - at least going to pick up the DC gets you up and out doesn't it, and that usually helps I think. Then I think I probably needed that bit of rest in the day in some ways Smile

DumDum32 · 13/11/2013 15:49

thanks colouring.

just spoken to crisis team & u know hw d rest goes.... just waiting to hear back from them :(

SnowyMouse · 13/11/2013 16:02

Thanks for all the hugs, much appreciated and reciprocal in kind.

LEMisafucker · 13/11/2013 16:32

Hang in there dumdum, i hope you get the help you need today.

So bloody tired, willing away the time til DP comes home, DD doing her homework then she will need occupying. Bloody fucking anxiety

ColouringInQueen · 13/11/2013 17:10

dumdum hang in there x

lem sympathies re the counting down. My dcs are watching tv... I was counting down til dh gets home but his parents have locked themselves out so he now has to go over there - will be out an hour and half Angry

I am going downhill this pm. Is it the anxiety? - v tense agitated just want to run for the hills/hide under the duvet with a load of alcohol Hmm

LEMisafucker · 13/11/2013 17:29

maybe theres something in the air CiQ, we all seem to be having a rubbish day today.

Can you thnk of anything that has triggered this particularly CiQ? Can you think of anything that you could do tomorrow, for you - to make yourself feel nice for a bit? Trip to coffee shop with a book? Do some craft? Long hot bath? Am voting for a nice walk along the beach with my dogs tomorrow

ColouringInQueen · 13/11/2013 17:40

Seriously lem!

Its dds birthday at the weekend but everything bar the cake is done and im not worried about doing that (I don't think!). Got out for an hour walk in the sun this morn which usually makes a big diff, but not today. Been spaced out all day really and avoiding social situations.

Continue to struggle with dh who last might was much less confident about his new business and challenged me as to whether I think it will be successful - I said yes, but it will prob take longer than you thought. But the reality is I'm not sure. The presentation he did last week to a group of orgs did not go down v well, despite him being v excited about it and using lots of new ideas from all the books he's been reading. ..

Agitation... having to do breathing techniques in order to be in same room as dcs.

College tomorrow so hopefully I'll feel a bit better and get a good painting done.

LEMisafucker · 13/11/2013 17:53

Must be lovely to be able to paint/draw - i can on occasion draw but not very well. I keep meaning to start a knitting project - DD wants a chihuahua, i can stretch to a knitted one, i keep THINKING about doing it but not getting round to it.

TheOrchardKeeper · 13/11/2013 17:57

((hugs to all))

They've upped my ads again and am coming home Friday. Will get more support looking for voluntary work and housing when im out. DSs dad has him atm. Thanks for all hugs x

LEMisafucker · 13/11/2013 18:02

Get some rest in the meantime orchard ((hugs)) & Cake