if you feel those winter blues, move to our Village, spread the news!

[ThatVikRinA22]

new thread folks.....im losing track but i think this might be our 7th!

all welcome. old and new. This is a supportive place for anyone suffering with any type of mental health issue.

im on Sertraline (ADs) and have been since last December. I had 6 months off work with depression and anxiety and the ladies on these threads kept me going.

Feel free to post, to comment, to ask questions, or just to lurk and feel less alone.
everyone in the village is lovely.

hi everyone
feeling rather rubbish tonight. Not sure what to do tbh. Had a major depression earlier this year and have been v gradually improving, had a good Sept but seem to be going downhill again. Dark thoughts, not engaging, dreaming of escaping. Sorry. It's demoralising. I feel that cos I'm aware of these thoughts I should be able to "Pull myself together". Don't have another drink. Don't be paranoid about what this mum thinks - its most likely something else... Do the mindfulness etc etc. But I don't so its my fault that I'm like this. I'm attention seeking (see I'm posting all this s**t here). I thought I was recovering but now I don't know what to think.

Yes I've been on fluoxetine and trazodone since Feb. Am better than I was then, but its a long time since Feb and after the initial improvement, improvement has been slow.

At least on MN, someone listens - exactly.

Sorry to hear you feel so bad colour'

Just called my local crisis team to say I'm concerned about how bad i've felt the last few days & that i'm pretty distressed today & worried by the return of suicidal thoughts. I cried down the bloody phone

Was kind of fobbed off anyway.

Oh that's rubbish orchard. It does make me sad how little support there is for mental health problems.

Thanks kim you're right it does help to feel acknowledged.

God this stuff is so hard.

They said I could call them back if I feel worse but then what? More fobbing off? What could they actually do. I basically have a choice. Stick it out til therapy starts (3 weeks) or pack it all in. Or at least, that's how it feels. Sorry to sound melodramatic.

It is certainly hard

I think it can be a bit random who you get on the phone with them. last person i spoke to was a lovely northern irish lady.. keep going. The thought that keeps me the safest is that my dad would be completely devastated if I did something. .. do you have someone that you could keep on mind?

DS. He's the only reason i sought help in the first place. He needs a mum. Nothing else actually works as a deterrent like he does.

But im struggling with looking after him and coping with looking after us. Im so drained and wired at the same time.

Nevermind. Not much i can do about it for now...

So sorry so many of us are having a hard time

I'm feeling very down again today. I have health anxiety and due to my age probably I'm having various health problems. Half a year ago my gynae recommended an exploratory camera examination. I am a wimp about pain (had a coil fitted 15 years ago and nearly passed out with the pain) but also don't want a GA , as I want to be conscious and not suffer for days/weeks afterwards recovering. Also worried about mrsa and all the other horror stories you hear about hospitals getting things wrong and would much rather not go anywhere near one!Tbh I'm also scared of what they might find. I know I'm sticking my head in the sand here. I've put it off since, but the problem is still happening and I think I really need to know what is causing it, so I've booked a drs appointment for next week. I'm not sure how to approach it, as it's a different gp and a new take on the problem would be good, rather than just telling her the history and asking her to refer me again. But I'm aware I'm being a coward and hoping I won't need the camera examination also I find it extremely embarrassing to talk about gynae things

I also suffer with IBS and after reading stuff on mn I'm wondering if I should have that looked into in more detail. I'm trying to control it with a strict diet, which works quite well until I start comfort eating. In the past I've just been fobbed off by the gp, telling me to eat more fibre and take tablets (which only made things worse).

It all feels hopeless and I think a visit to the gp is probably a waste of time. I don't go often, but I have issues with asking for any help and appearing weak, so when I do go I feel like they're thinking I'm a

Also wondering if I should tell them I'm feeling down again, but it feels like a waste of time as I can't take ADs due to struggling with side effects and was unable to really explain to the counsellor last time what the problem is. I tend to say "oh, I'm fine" and he sort of seemed to think people should pull themselves together.

It all feels a bit much

sorry you are having a rough time CiQ, do you think this could be SAD? have you got a light box? do you think that would help? You have made amazing progress and I always look to you for motivation so know that you can pick up again, maybe you need to go with the flow for a bit? It will get better.

Sorry to hear you've got all that on your plate SG

Managed to get 3hrs sleep but am now in charge of a wide awake, very hyper 3 year old. Feeling a little better than last night but still pretty bad. I need to take it one day at a time though and stop obsessing worrying about the future. Especially worrying about finding a job or how lonely I feel.

SG make a list of the ADs you've been on and what the side effects were. This might help your GP to find a better one for you.

Re: baths and showers I was brought up in the 50's, hot water was from an electic immersion tank, and baths were once a week. Showers - what were they? We had a wash each night and morning. DM changed beds each week - week 1 sheets top to bottom week 2 fresh sheets. (Duvets - what were they?)

When I moved to the NE and into an old miners' cottage, a neighbour could still remember when all water had to be fetched from a standpipe! With no proper bath in the house, I kept clean with proper head to foot flannel wash downs, supplemented by the occasional 2 hour bath in college.

I think it may be an Asperger's thread to not like baths and showers much - certainly even at my best (which is pretty good these days) I still have to make myself have a bath or shower.

So don't worry too much, (provided you don't smell ) and think of the money you're saving...

Luckily my hair is stupidly thick and looks fine til about day 5 after washing, and dry shampoo makes it 6 at a stretch. If i notice i properly smell then i force myself to have a bath but am leaving it as long as possible lately. It's just such a faff. My hair is all wild and curly so needs straightening once dry but i just can't be arsed half the time.

Making myself go out this afternoon with DP which hopefully will help. Want to stay in really though. Hope everyone else is having a nice Saturday.

((( all, particularly those struggling )))

I feel very tired, trying not to have a nap.

Hello my lovelies

Much love to those finding it hard. Be kind, give yourself treats Just get through.
Me, I love a good bubble bath, chocolate (all to myself, no sharing) and a trashy novel.
What really helps is outside for a walk, usually the last thing I want to do...

((( CiQ )))

Friends round tomorrow and I'm really dreading it. So scared about silly stuff. Just and shouldn't be hard. But....

wakey, wakey lovely Snowy...How are you feeling today?

Hi everyone,

replying to colouring just because of some of the issues she raised, but obv to everyone else too. I agree you definitely musn't mentally say anything like 'pull yourself together' because that has the double whammy of treating yourself as though you are somehow to blame and treating the illness as though it's optional (my mum said she thought I'd chosen to indulge in it. Which was nice. )

But... I don't think that's the same as reminding ourselves how to be kind and healthy as possible. So saying no to wine is a good idea, just as saying no to a fry up is a good idea for someone who's had a heart surgery. All those small things that we know help or hinder - we can try, when we're up to it, to keep them going as long as possible.

I get very low at this time of year, so recently have been trying to spend 1-2 hours outside first thing in the morning. Easier said than done, I know, because there are loads of days when it's barely possible to get out of bed let alone dressed and out the front door. But when I do manage, the exercise and sunlight helps massively.

I'm overweight and not fit but have been doing as much exercise as possible mainly because it seems to help. If there's any chance you can face this - even if it's just starting by having a cup of tea or coffee outside, wrapped up in a blanket, it might help a little. And lots of tiny things that help can add up to take that final lump of pressure off - the one where you totally give in to it. That's the one I try to avoid.

Hello all im still at level 1 but progressing to level 2 as i did get up to have a shower today & put on fresh pj's!

Hello

Can I join? I don't have a diagnosis or anything, but I tend to have real up and down moods, am quite hard on myself and generally think there's "something" going on with me MH wise, but am a bit scared to go to the GP. I was bullied all through secondary school (am now 23) so think a lot of it is to do with that - I was thinking lots of bad thoughts through those years :(

Lost my granddad (who was my father figure too) 6 weeks ago, which hasn't been easy.

Anyway, yesterday I started tracking my mood on Mood Panda. I can at least see if there's a pattern to it all then.

I'm low hoochy, but thanks for asking. Good luck with getting up and out, not.

I'm level 2.

Welcome Lollipop

solid sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Health anxiety sounds very hard. Hope you're surviving today.

giraffe thanks so much for your thoughts. Makes a lot of sense. I have to say I am really struggling to say no to the wine. Yr mums comment makes my blood boil on yr behalf.

lem thank you for your lovely words. The SAD thing rings bells. I think I have often been worse in the winter. I am fed up of ending up down again.

Like notagiraffe and hoochy I have been trying to get out for a walk when its not raining and it does help a bit.

Hi snowy am trying to work out what to watch tonight. Currently 2012 which I sadly quite like, but have seen before. ..

Hello to everyone else and sorry not to respond better x

Hi lollipop so sorry to hear about your grandad.

notagiraffe I still do feel a bit like how o am at the moment is partly my fault. But am also trying to bear lems go with the flow advice which feels comforting.

It's so invasive, that feeling of guilt, isn't it. But Colouring it's not your fault. Even if it were triggered by binge drinking or taking drugs, having MH problems afterwards would not be someone's fault as it doesn't happen to everyone who parties hard in life. You either have a sensitivity in the area of MH or you don't. And no one chooses to.

Seriously it's taken me decades to stop thinking I could and should snap out of it. I feel guilty most days for not getting as much done as other people do, but try to counter that with a big loud voice that says: you're doing OK, take note of what you do do. Like the person up thread who felt guilty because she didn't interact much with her child beyond cuddles. Well aren't cuddles the best interaction going. And maybe cereal or oven chips every night isn't ideal, but if no one starves, it's not worth feeling guilty about.

Lollipop - i am very sorry to hear about your granddad - do feel free to tell us about him if you want to. I was bullied at school too, it affected my self esteem terribly, it still does i think (and im 43!). Maybe you could get some counselling to help you with that? You don't need a diagnosis to be on this thread, you just have to need some support or somewhere to talk about things and feel comforted. Your GP would be a good place to start when looking for counselling referral, but you can self refer.

I have had a really bad day today - partly from being tired after helping to run the wine and wisdom last night (Was a behind the scenes nightmare! but we made like swans and were graceful on the surface!). Then i got embroiled in a thread this morning where people were basically saying that overweight models shouldnt be in shops as it was "normalising" fatness it all got very personal and i honestly felt/ feel like i should hide myself away :( Haven't felt like that for a while, totally disengaged from the family, or tried to, i thought if i had a bath i could get five minutes, so i ran the bath and went and lie on the bed, two minutes later DP comes up for a cuddle then DD follows, followed by two dogs!! I felt like screaming at them to fuck off and leave me alone - then i just pretended to be asleep on the sofa, didn't take my mums dog out so she probably has the hump. Its all trivial stuff, but its not been a good day. Tomorrow is a new one though.

Sorry if i am not replying to everyone, the thread is moving quickly and i think thats brilliant, i just haven't had time to really read through and feeling a bit ropey, but all newcomers really welcome - i find reading about other peoples perspectives really useful.

Hows the puppy Vicar? and Ed? how is school?

notagiraffe yep I definately have a sensitivity - as does one of my brothers who's also suffering from depression, as my mum has done from most of her life.

lem (((hugs))) that thread sounds rubbish. I know exactly what you mean about wanting peace and quiet - it is ok to want it and to get it.