if you feel those winter blues, move to our Village, spread the news!

[ThatVikRinA22]

new thread folks.....im losing track but i think this might be our 7th!

all welcome. old and new. This is a supportive place for anyone suffering with any type of mental health issue.

im on Sertraline (ADs) and have been since last December. I had 6 months off work with depression and anxiety and the ladies on these threads kept me going.

Feel free to post, to comment, to ask questions, or just to lurk and feel less alone.
everyone in the village is lovely.

I feel like level 1 a lot but being an LP to DS means I can't most of the time, though I don't really make any effort & look like shit but dressed if that makes sense. I was feeling more positove but now he's not sleeping again it's all coming undone & I keep daydreaming about my recent hospital stay and how nice it was to be able to sleep through every night, even if I found it hard to get to sleep at first.

If this carries on all the recent recovery/progress will be undone. He's nearly 3! I'm not even a soft touch but he still keeps waking at night.

Toddlers!

Agree that the levels thing is quite a good way of gauging it. It's hard to explain how siple things like keeping clean or thinking about what clothes you should wear can seem like too much sometimes (or all the time when you're at your worst). I'm a bath-a-day type whn i'm well but atm it's (disgustiongly) only about twice a week I manage it. I know it's a bit gross but I can barely do anything once DS is in bed...besides drool in front of the telly/laptop

*simple

Feckin phone

to all.

to you too

Can't wear my PJs all day as the elastics gone in 'em and so once I'm up and about, even a little bit, they get really annoying to wear.

Great technique to progress to a level 2?

Orchard, I like the thought of a bath a day, but also can't be bothered, I shower twice a week thank goodness for quick wash basin washes and dry shampoo before having to leave the house. I know it's disgusting, but it's all too much effort. I only iron dd's school shirts, everything else is hung on hangers, because I just can't be bothered. Sunday is my pj day. At the moment dh gets dd ready for school during the week and I get up late unless I have to be at work. Usually I work from 11, but on Saturday I have to be in at 9.

I'm the same solid. I only have a bath so have to have a bath if I want a full wash. I'm not a stranger to a 'french bath' either...

Feeling really crap tonight. I'll get DS' sleeping sorted but it's torture whilst you're doing it and tbh, i'm sort of too ill to do it but can't go on like it is either, so figure I should ride it out and hope I don't have a massive back-track to where I was a few weeks ago.

I get fairly bad mother's guilt for not wanting to tend to DS 24/7 if that makes sense? Which doesn't help. I feel like you're not meant to admit to finding it really bloody hard or wishing it was bedtime already at 10am etc. Thank god for MN anyway, I know i'm not the only one at least. Still struggle with it a bit though.

Hope everyone else is ok. Scuse my waffling. I'm sort of in a limbo between having been discharged from the crisis team and waiting for psychotherapy/CBT and don't feel I can talk openly to family about it...

Do you want to talk to them Orchard? You don't have to. It's your business.

Maybe I should start another thread about this but I'm really fussing about meds. Put citalopram up by an extra 10mg last week because I felt so down and cr*p, but since then have eaten everything that isn't nailed down. I want to go back to previous dose. But can't face feeling so low again.

My problem is mainly depression with mild anxiety and paranoia. Would another SSRI work for this? One that doesn't put weight on? I've been on citalopram for about 5 years now and have put on two stone. :(

I don't like talking to them about how i'm feeling 100%. I often cover up the worst of it as they mean well & I know they want me better but they often say the wrong thing or freak out that i'm having a bad day/not improving and that in turn gets me all flustered and self-doubting. It's just easier not to always say. I wish therapy would hurry up though as it helps to talk to someone about it and be doing something to try and get better.

not - I'm on Mirtazipine, which you take at night (and it's a tad more sedative than other ADs, which makes it very good for anxiety). It's so much better than other ADs i've tried. I hated Citalopram but it works for some. Maybe ask to switch? Some seem to make anxiety worse or just have no effect on it. It's made me hungrier but that's more because I barely ate a thing when I was at my illest so it was because I was actually going back to normal. Hope you find somehting that works a little better anyway!

There is a wide range of ADs out there. And one problem till recently was middle-aged people who'd been on meds for a long time, and were missing out on better ones.

Physiological response to ADs seem to vary so much, so it's worth keeping trying till you find the right one for you.

As far as the bathing goes, I showered once during my hospital stay, and didn't change clothes. I spent today making a list to aim at, e.g. get dressed, shower every other day, eat something at tea time. I know it sounds basic, but it's supposed to help you feel better.

Would making a list like that help anyone else? (or just add more pressure).

There are other meds not, why not ask if you can change?

I do 'to do' lists which help. You do feel like you acheived something, even if it's just to have a bath or cook dinner (and not the oven chips kind)

I was put off ADs for years after one bad experience and was then put on M' in hospital and it started helping with the anxiety really quickly, much to my surprise. I was so put off them I don't think I'd have been convinced to take anything if I wasn't already in hospital. Hope you feel better soon

Hi everyone,

notagiraffe from what I've read and experienced, increased appetite is a side-effect of lots of ADs, but for me, it was worse when I upped a dose, and then plateaued again - maybe give it another week?

orchard hi and sympathies re: the sleep thing. tbh I think soooo many mums have that counting down til bedtime thing - but not all will admit it! It is hard not to feel guilty, but I honestly believe that being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. When I worked p/t in quite a demanding role, the days at home being a mum were by far the hardest.

hi spcgreat to hear you're enjoying spotify - it is good isn't it. I had a phase reminiscing with all my 80s tracks which was great fun.

snowy how's your day been - whatcha up to now?

juggling did you make it to level 2? I had forgotten all about the levels. Because I do the school run I have to get sort of level 3'ed but more often with greasy hair and no make-up.... I think its a good idea to have a level 1 day every now and then!

Well, not the best day. Napped on sofa and went up to bed at 2.20. Awful dreams all night where everything that could go wrong in a day did, and more. Napped after lunch which helped a bit, and a friend and DCs came round after school which was nice, but struggling to be sociable. dh out this evening - so actually haven't spent an evening with him all week! Feeling rather disheartened today that the worse of the negative thoughts are back with avengeance. Its exhausting constantly working hard to give the other perspective in my head...

Hope everyone's having a cosy and peaceful evening x

Thank you colouring. I know it's silly to beat myself up over it but it's easier said than done sometimes. I feel especially bad that I got so ill I couldn't look after us but I sort of cling to the fact that I sought the help and am still here and alive and getting better.

Hope you have nicer dreams tonight.

thank you

You're completely right - you sought help. I wish my mum had. It's not silly though, it means you recognise it's important and want to do a good job... (I need to listen to my own advice )

I'm watching tv, CiQ I'm looking forward to next week when I get satellite installed (relying on a rubbish portable aerial at the moment). It's nice to have something to look forward to.

Ooooh satellite sounds great! We just have freeview here.... I have gardeners world on which is not the most exciting, but good to MN too...

Orchard, it's so sad that there's still such a stigma and such ignorance about MH that we feel guilty when we get unwell. I wonder if you'd have felt guilty for being unable to care for your family if you'd had cancer or MS. It's not your fault. And you, we, do need time to get well during and after a bout of illness. The other thing that we are encouraged to ignore is how physical mental illness is. It makes you so physically ill. So drained and queasy and achey and lethargic. No surprise that it's hard to get started.

think I'll chat to doc about trying different medication. Citalopram helps mentally but the physical effects are frustrating. Sleeping for up to 16 hours a day, and getting fatter by the minute.

Sounds like a good plan not

And thanks. My family seem to accidently feed into the idea that I shouldn't have 'let' myself get ill/that I can't afford to be now I'm a mum. I just need to 'think positive' and stay strong (and all that sort of stuff that I already actually tried when I was sliding down the slope). It certainly makes you feel much worse.

The last few days i've been so tired and today I now feel like it's causing a back-track. I feel like I can't cope again but am trying to just get on with it. I had my BF over earlier and was playing normal but he could tell something wasn't right & kept asking if I was ok. I just don't want to tell my family when I feel like this. I don't feel it's worth calling the crisis team again though. They only just discharged me & it seems silly.

Hoping I sleep tonight anyway. DS's dad has him tomorrow overnight so I can sleep which might help.

to all!

(My mum said, when i came home from hospital, 'you're at a crossroads now. What you do from here will decide what happens to DS & if you spend your life as 'a mental patient'. You need to prove you can look after him'. Those words have certainly stuck with me since I've been home ).

Thanks for all the support last night, feeling slightly better today as I finished a job that has been looming over me for weeks and I managed to cancel a couple of other things that were adding to my stress. I feel so tired though now, totally drained. Not sure if I will achieve anything over the weekend, but I'm just going to try to be a bit kinder to myself for the next couple of days and see how things go. If I carry on feeling so bad I will try and make an appointment with the gp, I always feel like I'm making such a fuss though.

Sorry I meant to say, I hope everyone else has had a good day and something to look forward to over the weekend

Orchard - interesting where you said you don't like telling them (HCP's ?) how you're feeling 100% - just reminded me of when I saw a counsellor and how completely shocked she was that my young DS wasn't brushing his teeth every night - I had rather hoped she'd be more tolerant and understanding - and a bit more aware of the range of human behaviour [sceptical] (sometimes I just throw that raised eyebrow face in for variety!)

there you go!