Help for my SIL

[Juvenilesuccess]

I'm hoping someone can advise me on how I can help my SIL.

She has two children under three both of whom are terrible sleepers and always have been. The three year old has allergies and wakes up most night scratching. The one year old has reflux and wakes up crying.

She struggled with PND after the first and I feel like her mental health and wellbeing are still very fragile.

I keep telling her to take a break and leave my brother to look after the kids. It's been constant for three years and I know she's exhausted.

She says it's not so much the tiredness but the fact that both children are waking up in discomfort. I think it's specially bad with the three year old as he can't be comforted. Having said that the one year old just screams and screams.

Other than having a night off or going to the doctor is there anything else I could be suggesting. I can't imagine having to cope with that every night and feel like she's at breaking point.

Speaking as a mother who has 2 children who don't sleep, I'm sure the tiredness is a big factor for her, even though she says it's not. Could you offer to have one (if not both) of the children for a night so she and her partner can have an evening together? Other wise just being there to talk to would be helpful I'm sure. Invite her over for a coffee every so often, things like that where you can help out with out saying your helping out. A lot of mums with PND seem to think they should be able to cope on their own and refuse help as they don't want to seem weak so don't wait for her to ask and don't ask 'how can I help' say things like 'I'd like to have the children on...' and 'are you free for a coffee on...' it sounds like she's got a lot on her plate so I'm sure an extra pair of hands would be a big help. If you're unable to do this because of your own family/commitments there is a service called homestart where a voluenteer visits them a couple of times a week and plays with the kids and is just another adult around. It's totally free and I think it needs a health visitor to refer her but you may be able to contact them yourself. I know lots of families who have found them their life line so maybe worth talking to your SIL about it. Good luck

Giving her a night of sleep occasionally may really help. Can she ask her HV for helps with sleep strategies. Lots of different advice on how to help children sleep around but if what she been doing so far not working worth trying something different? A week of full sleep may make her feel very different.