Challenge from my Psychologist. Write down 3 positive things a day. Join me?

[fuzzpig]

Background in brief - history of abuse and lengthy depression, self harm, lots of therapy in teens inc psych ward stay. Now suffering from CFS (also known as ME) and having CBT as part of the treatment.

So, we were talking about low self esteem, negative inner voice etc, and she suggested doing this to gradually build up evidence against these thoughts. I've done similar briefly in the past but having done a lot of psychological 'inner work' this year I feel ready to make it stick and I thought doing a thread on it would make me more likely to bother!

I'm off to watch telly with DH in a mo (Big Bang Theory 6 arrived yesterday :o) so won't be back til tomorrow but if anyone wants to do this with me then jump in! Could be stuff you've achieved, nice things that have happened etc.

Mine are:

• Had my consultation over the phone for the first time - was worried it'd feel weird but I stuck with it and found it really helpful.

• Contacted a friend to arrange a meet up while he's visiting home (I hardly ever initiate anything like that)

• Wrote in my treatment journal the same day as my session, instead of leaving it for weeks!

:)

Fuzz pig - lol @ shaving legs, mine only get done when I'm going swimming!

My 3

Ds has been so lovely today :)
Dh is off tmro
Made a delicious cake

Went swimming before work.
Lovely Dutch director is over here, which almost makes up for being back at work after 3 weeks leave.
It was a beautiful sunset.

3 for yesterday

Had a lovely chat on the phone with my mum, and although I should have called her she didn't seem miffed.

Had a good chat with DD about things that are troubling her.

Made a small amount of progress with a work problem

hello everyone

• Got lots of little odd things ticked off my to-do list

• Bought myself a new t shirt

• Decided to make an appt to speak to dd headteacher

We've had a lovely day here for dd's birthday

• had a lovely breakfast out with Dh and dd
• ds was so lovey to dd
• had fun after school
• dd liked her presents
• good TV tonight!
• best friend visiting tomorrow

Ooh look 6!

Positive feedback on some work I've done
Went for a lovely walk with kids after tea
Lovely hug from ds before he went to bed

Yesterday's three:

Big improvement on the knitting front
Spent a couple of hours relaxing in the morning
A lovely chat with some of the parents at DCs new school

ok.

• got out for a 45 min walk with my dad

• got my dad sorted at our docs after dog bite

• dd in a good mood after school this evening

mine for today - t

ok some shirts back that don't suit me

• Had an interesting chat with my boss about personality types

+Teacher at school impressed at Ds being on a proper bike ( no stabilisers )

Oh and the Big Issue seller outside work told me I had a lovely smile. Feel a bit bad as I never buy one from him as I get it from one in the town where I live, a lovely guy who asks how my new job is going.

OK thought I'd better come back tonight despite feeling crap (period) as otherwise I'd need to do three days' worth tomorrow!

Yesterday:

• managed to walk home from school with the DCs.

• prepared salad veg for the DCs' dinner so it wasn't just pasta and cheese.

• DH's college tutor recognised his/our unusual surname and asked if he knew me :o he said I was really bright and had done well on the course I took with him a couple of years ago. Chuffed that he remembered me :)

And today's:

• DH did loads more tidying and moved the table into our kitchen as DD suggested recently. Our kitchen is tiny but it does fit (and we may be jigging things around a bit more soon to make more space) and we all sat down together for dinner for the first time in ages. And I took the opportunity to implement the daily "tell me the best thing about your day" idea from upthread, I can't remember who wrote that but thank you - it was lovely! Especially inviting DS to speak, he has a speech disorder and hearing him improve as he talks about his day is just wonderful.

• played a lovely family game after dinner (Animal Upon Animal - was recommended on here and Santa delivered it at Xmas :o) and was really impressed how well both DCs did with the patience and fine motor skills required.

• friend at work told me which of my poems were her favourites and we had a nice chat. She then told me about other poems she likes, and printed one out for me which I'll find and post here in a mo - it is really relevant.

Here it is:

THE GUEST HOUSE

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Jelaluddin Rumi
translation by Coleman Barks

As a recent newbie to mindfulness I find the above really relevant. It is important to be able to just be with our feelings, good or bad, rather than struggling against them in pursuit of perfection.

Thanks for this thread. I have been feeling really low this week (came off AD's after 10 years a few months ago) and just can't shake it. At first I just sat there, eyes welling because I couldn't think of one positive thing. I have finally managed to think of 3 and my eyes are finally dry. I have enjoyed reading everyone else's positive things too so thank you all.

The poem has helped too. I feel like I am failing when I am feeling low, but feeling low is better than feeling nothing. I need to turn this feeling into a positive and use the sadness that I feel to identify things in my life that I can improve on.

-My lips are good today (I have a skin condition, sometimes they look and feel like they are covered in sores)
-DD's foot is getting better
-Sun is shining

Interesting poem fuzzpig. I wish I could believe there was something good about dark thoughts and shame. I am beginning mindfulness classes next week. Do you find it difficult to find the time (or discipline) for daily practice?

Sorry I have missed this for a few days.

My three things at the moment -

Meeting up with some lovely MN friends for a knit and a blether on Monday.

Keeping the kitchen clean and tidy.

Making myself go to the gym on Tuesday (though I haven't managed to make myself go today).

What a wonderful thread. May I join you?

(this is hard)

• had a healthy salad for lunch
• finilised the structure of the report I'm working at the moment
• walked to work and the sun was shinning

I have to post tomorrow

Tried and mainly didn't compulsively eat.
Met friends I hadn't seen for ages and they were pleased to see me.
Didn't smack the dcs even though they were naughty . I have decided not to smack as it's not nice .

• painted a good picture at college today
• cooked buns for coffee morning tomorrow
• friend popped in

Majestic with the mindfulness, no I don't do daily practise ATM. I am mainly using it in moments of anxiety (eg on the bus) as a way of stopping my mind running away with itself. I should try and do daily practise though.

Well I had a seriously terrible afternoon. Struggled getting DS back as he was so tired, had to carry him part of the way and collapsed in the hallway when I got home, in massive pain, narrowly avoiding a full blown panic attack. Really sore now. But still. Must find positives!

• watched another foreign film, and on the commercials found two more that I'm hoping to watch - one Scandinavian, one French and one Japanese. I've only recently realised how much great cinema there is, that I'd not given a chance because it was subtitled, but I'm loving it!

• wrote a thread about aforementioned school run and got lots of really lovely supportive replies and advice. Feeling less panicky about tomorrow now.

• managed to cook dinner once I'd recovered, spent time listening to music with DD while DS slept off his tantrum. We still sat round the table and did our 'best thing of the day' talk, and although DH now feels really guilty he wasn't here, I'm pleased I pulled it together.

Well done fuzzpig. Have not been since Monday. Tuesday was not great so I am going to pretend it didn't happen so
Wednesday
One of the DCs had a new friend from school over and made them a "perfect tea mummy".
Put a lot of thought into the wording of a message of support for a friend
Watched Great British Bake Off - love this series.

Today
Lovely coffee with some friends
Thanked for the eloquence of my message and for the emotion behind it
Managed to solve an camping/walking equipment issue for DH.

May not be able to come on for a few days and DM&F are coming to stay so not sure if will be able to get on. But looking forward to seeing them.

Ok mine for today:

Had coffee with friends and their dds same age as dd.

Made a scrummy cake

Ds has been sooooooo much better behaved this week, feel like I have my boy back!!! [teary emoticon]

Oh and dd vomited and I didn't go to pieces

What film did you see fuzzpig ? Am always looking for interesting films.

Mine for yesterday

• made it to my yoga class for the first time in weeks
• Ds1 had a lovely time playing at a friend's house
• Read a really interesting article about Angela Merkel's style of leadership.