I am sure that like many things BPD might be easier to manage with females. I don't mean to be horrendously sexist but in general women tend to be less violent, from smaller frames or societal mores or whatever.
My situation is that I have lost all immediate family. I am still close to anyone further afield. So on my Dad's much missed and much loved side there where several aunties who are OLD and never approved of my mum anyway. Mention a mental illness and YOU could be incarcerated for being whacko. I thought they were totally crazy, but I loved them for their calmness. It was all done in such a distinct 'well, what would the neighbours say?' rattling of teacups.
On my mum's (only) existing side there are three sisters and corresponding cousins. One of my cousins has BPD and apparently it's fallen to me to take care of him as we were the youngest ones, and were close, and I don't know how to even start. I will visit the doctor with him. I have never done this before.
But on a brief surmise:
His positives are that:
- he is healthy and attractive
- he plays several instruments to orchestra level and HAS done this
- he has Tai qwando (or whatever the bugger is called) qualification
- he is really interested in antiquities and has a 'stash'
negative:
- he's buggerall awkward and sometimes lashes out at Housing Association staff, which is totally unaceptable
- he says he has no friends
- he now believes that he's never done anything, he's not worth anything, and will never maintain anything
- he STILL dabbles with drugs on and off.
Because I've known him since he was really young I remember the time he threw a shit fit in our lounge (as teens) and insisted that the tuna we'd tried to serve was because we were trying to poison him. And then left the can in the middle of the room saying that we were poisonous. Really? Could this have just been down to teen drugs? Can anyone help me on how to help him?
I'm going to get a wall chart (which he MUST put put), and a lodger book, and he must notate if he goes to taiquando (whatever) and also the mandolin, which he's hugely talented at, and do everything else himsel.