Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Flip

Original poster

messed everything up

12 replies

fee25 · 21/08/2013 18:19

a few weeks ago i got really drunk ended up outside my hv house (didnt know it was her house till next day when i was retracing my steps and recognised her car) she found out and had to report it her team leader. phoned her the other day to say sorry and that but now am not allowed to speak to her, she is die to see me in a month unless anything changes, i have alot of axienty issues n now am.gonna b worried whats going to happen. am so upset its ended this way what do uz think will happen?

OP posts:

HoopHopes · 21/08/2013 18:48

I have no idea but know the NHS is very into protecting their staff. Unless you have a young baby you do not need to see your HV very often and they have a team of HV so if the team leader is concerned for her HV they can allocate you a new one.

Original poster

fee25 · 21/08/2013 19:17

i know this all my fault and probs would b best to get a other health visitor, its just that shes been a great support over the last few months and am upset thats it ended this way, she probs hate me now and i just wanted to speak to her to say sorry for everything it was never my intention to hurt or harm her in anyway and never would

OP posts:

Bubblepuppy · 21/08/2013 19:30

You should try very hard to let it go I think, and just deal with another hv. I know you feel embarrassed and have an urge to explain yourself but I think you'll need to supress it. That would be the best way to make amends here. If you try to contact her when they have told you not to, you'll make things worse for yourself and for her.

She won't hate you, if she's a professional, which from what you have said she is.

Messupmum · 21/08/2013 19:38

I feel for you, when your mind is all over the place, can end up doing things you later regret. I've done similar with professionals, I get attached and panicky. Not turned up at anyones house though, how did she find out?!

Original poster

fee25 · 21/08/2013 19:47

my councillor had told her, i wasnt planning on doing anything outside her house, it was just the way i was going n callopsed outside i was really out off it that nite. i know it will be better grtting another hv just didnt want it to end like this

OP posts:

HoopHopes · 21/08/2013 23:19

Agree if you have been told not to contact then you cannot and then see what they suggest. I guess they will be concerned that you are too attacjhed to her, know where she lives etc so if they swop you HV then it is just standard practise to protect staff.

Original poster

fee25 · 22/08/2013 08:13

was thinking off cutting off contact with all kind of professionals then i wont get attached to them, never want to go thru this again or feel like this

OP posts:

HoopHopes · 22/08/2013 08:40

How old is your youngest child roughly? As once past one year review do not have to see a HV until the next 2-2.5 review unless the HV wants to see you or need advice. But you can go to a children's centre and ask advice from any of their workers if you need help? The problem is mental health workers are very good at managing people with mental health difficulties who have trouble with attachment whereas other professionals who are very kind may not understand in the same way.

What does your counsellor suggest? You need to go to injections, review and dr appointments with children so how can you manage that?

Original poster

fee25 · 22/08/2013 08:46

hes 16 months, hv comes out more for me tho for my llow moods etc my hv is attached to the surgery so am not sure if i have a drop in centre

i would be ok if its just the one appointment for injection etc its wen its more regular contact i get attached

my councillor has referred me to see a physcarisit. but am scared i will get attached to her aswell

OP posts:

HoopHopes · 22/08/2013 17:54

No chance you will get attached to a psychiatrist!! You see them for about 15 minutes ( maybe longer for first time, but that could well be with a junior member of team who does all assessment questions) and usually see no more often than every 3 months. All they do is diagnosis and prescribe medication and risk assessment.

Does that help?

So no need for you to see HV. I have mental health issues and a toddler and my HV sees me for one year review and 2 year review. Nurses at gp does injections. And if I want him weighed I go to the drop in sessions at children's centre.

Have you discovered children's centre, the sure start ones? You can in England find lots of support at them. Mine is tiny and useless but the ones further away I can go to have all sorts of groups and you can fill a form in for support like groups, one to one sessions from their support workers.

If your HV is concerned she can contact your gp etc. you can ask for support from home start for extra help. Also you can self refer to social care if you feel you need more support.

Original poster

fee25 · 22/08/2013 18:29

yeah that helps thank you. ive heard off sure start centres not sure there any my area i do go to a baby group but am very shy i find it hard to make friends.
i get home start once a week but she going to uni so she said she wouldnt be coming out as often

OP posts:

HoopHopes · 22/08/2013 19:51

Look up on the Internet your nearest sure start/children's centre. In England they are everywhere!! They do baby groups that are free. And free parenting classes, all sorts of things. If you go to one ask for a form to fill in to register and ask for a form for extra support. It is all free. Might be more useful and safer for you than a HV you attach to. And hopefully more useful in long term.

No worries about psychiatrist... Mine is a male whose English I find hard to understand and hardly says anything. No empathy, no therapy skills just diagnosis and factual details!!! Do not expect a warm, kind female, they are not all like that!!!

Flip