Is there I could talk to?

[Lilypad21]

Am really struggling right now and don't have anyone to turn to.
I know this is a long shot..

Whats up

I can't think straight, feel like I want to do something stupid but know I shouldn't and won't end up doing it but I'm scared n feel so alone, I just needed to say it i think

You will be OK. Do u want to talk about it?

I get days like this it does get easier.

My parents are getting worse n I can't help
my ex won't leave me alone

i want to cut again and i have been fighting it too long to actually do it
I don't know what to do or how to feel better
thank u for being here

Oh hunny, how hard, try writing your feelings down. Please don't cut, I honestly know how hard it is.

Ignore your ex, he is your ex for a reason.

Stay strong sweetie I'm not sure what's happening with your parents so hard to help. Hugs x

Thank u for replying lostblonde
I am caring for both of my parents and also my nephew lives here
I am just struggling to see any light and need something to get better as I feel i am going to break again
i don't like to be negative but feel so so tired of it all and panicky tonight

If you care for your parents to you get help? Crossroads is good they help carers even your gp could help if you feel comfortable talking to them. Or even cab. There is help out there. There's us at NM too if you need to get things off your chest. You are doing great talking its when its kept in and not spoken about when it becomes trouble. Im bi-polar carer for my husband who is disabled and three dcs. I understand, you ARE NOT alone ok don't feel isolated. Take care op.

How are you today lillypad? X

Thank you both
I am not doing great have had a bad few days and just come out of hospital
Just want it to end to be honest
Thank you tho for the support

Hey your stronger than that. You've had such a challenge and your STILL here. What does that tell you??! It tells me that your a strong person who is kind and caring. Do NOT belittle yourself lady. You are better than this!

PS hope our hospital thing wasnt too trivial.

I don't want to do it I don't want to be strong
I don't know I might just be being negative but really feel as though there has been too much to deal with and feel broken

Do u have children?

You have the strength I promise you. You split yourself in two to make so many happy you have a hell of a lot on your shoulders you need a break some time off. You need you time as well. Have you looked at crossroads website for carers? Spoken to your doctor?

You are only human and can only cope with so much. Do you know what is troubling you op? What set the negativity off? I'm sorry to bombard you with questions prob the last thing you need.

Thank u
I have looked at a few websites but my parents are very resistant to change (mum especially with Alzheimer's) and feel it would make it worse
I had a child but am now only looking after my nephew
I think it's alot of anxiety and stress caused by my relationship with my ex and everything that went with that
Also been struggling for years with self harm and depression
I don't know I just feel like I can't do it anymore

I am so sorry you are going through this Lily.
I can't imagine how you feel as I haven't been in your position however I imagine it must be really, really difficult.
Is there a possibility to get a day carer in maybe one day a week? But for the first few times be there so your Mum gets used to them?
Perhaps have someone come in to help you so you can focus on your parents if you are struggling. Perhaps someone to do the household stuff whilst you look after them.
Or even someone to help look after your nephew.
I know it seems like it's hopeless and I know I sound clichéd, but you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I know your parents might be terminally ill but you have a nephew and I am sure you have other family and friends who care deeply about you.
You don't know what is round the corner. Perhaps you'll meet a really find person you'll want to be with, make an amazing friend or your nephew will achieve something amazing and you'll realise that it's not all bad, although it may feel that way right now.
I know I might not be that much help but wanted to know I am here to talk if you want someone to talk to. I know how difficult it is to cope with feeling depressed as had it on and off myself. It's horrible when you feel so helpless.
I hope you don't cut, although I know why you feel like you want to. But sometimes it's important to face how you feel. Sometimes it can be a dawning moment to let yourself feel the pain and look at it head on, because you'll see a light and see a different angle. Things aren't always easy, but they can get better.

Op where are you? Pm me if you want, you need some you time. If your near by I could try help some how? Shoulder to cry on, help at home, etc do you have anyone close you can talk to? Share troubles with?

Thank you both for replying again I must be getting tiring, sorry
I have a woman who comes in once or twice a week to help with cleaning as I go to work full time and my sisters don't do anything at all. I haven't seen any of them at my parents house for months.
It is difficult but I am feeling a little better now. Probably because of the support on here. Also my phone number was changed today and my ex hasn't been near my house so I feel a lot less anxious.
I am just at a point where I can't see very straight on what I need to do next to make myself feel better. It is scary being so low.
Thank you xx
I have pm'd you pipsqueakz x