Why am I so sad?

[icepole]

Not all the time but underneath, I have this constant undertone of sadness. Today had a lovely day, but at home and now I just feel so low. I feel like I am pointless. I feel lonely. Do other people actually feel content on their lives?

I do - which is strange, considering my life's an utter shambles! For the blessing of contentment, I have medications and therapy to thank in equal measures :)

There are a lot of things to feel sad about - I suspect most 'thinking' people have a constant flow of sadness running among their thoughts. It's a question of balance, and that's pretty much a question of attitude. Coming back from a socially involving event to a quiet home can feel sad & lonely. This is perfectly normal, human and reasonable. I tend to remind myself it's so, put on the radio or TV for voices, make a cuppa and take time to admire the garden or whatever will ground me back in "My Home".

I'm assuming that, since you posted here, you're suffering from some degree of depression - which is only exaggerated sadness, really. Please do post back if you need to discuss strategies for dealing with depression. Take good care of yourself, you're worth good care :)

I did wonder about depression. I am prone to low moods. I had bad depression years ago which resulted from experiencing a trauma. I was on medication for a few years, had some therapy and came off it.

This doesn't feel like that. That was proper can't cope with life stuff. I can keep going, I just feel low a lot of the time.

Full-scale depression's almost unbearable, isn't it? I'm sorry you went through that. I think it changes you for life, actually, in both good ways and some difficult ones.

It sounds worth a visit to your GP, and also reviving the strategies you learned in therapy. If you did journalling and/or found any books or CDs helpful, take some quiet time to make friends with your thoughts as before. Meditation, yoga, Pilates, walks in the park, etc, are always beneficial too.

Taking note of my own words, I'm off to mindfully cut the grass

I think depression manifests itself in different ways. I have intermittent depression following a severe episode 3 years ago. I can be fine most of the time and then I am plunged into the depths of despair for a few days, and can't really function at all. There don't seem to be any triggers. I have a friend who also has depression and she can sort of cope with life and do stuff but she generally feels low and mornings are worse for her. I agree a visit to the GP might help and the thibgs garlicagain suggests.

I agree as well that "full scale depression is almost unbearable" and I don't think it can be understood by anyone who has not had first hand experience of it. It's sheer torment.

I agree, wouldn't want that ever again.

I just feel low a lot of the time. I am lonely, that could be part of it. I don't feel purposeful or good at anything. And I feel a bit trapped I suppose. Then I feel guilty because I know I have lots to be thankful for.

icepole that is very similar to how I feel when I go through 'blips'.

So thankfully a lot of the time I'm well on low dose medication - but sometimes I struggle again for no obvious reason.

Having a bit of a blip at the moment and having to work really hard on all the things Garlic mentions.

Forget the guilt - I have a truly blessed life - I now accept that having depression had absolutely nothing to do with that and is irrelevant. Its an illness like any other.

Defiantely worth a chat with GP or a counsellor if things dont improve.

(Hi Nananina - hope you are ok :-))

Don't want to hi jack the thread but must say Hi to Kizzie - sorry you are still have the bloody blips(!) same here - having one now - had really bad day today. I am approx. 80% good and 20% mixed days or bad days. Have had another AD (mirtazapine) added to my original AD but not sure it's made that much difference. We've been blipping for ages haven't we!!

Icepole it could be possible that you are depressed, as feeling low for a lot of the time can be a depressive illness, especially as you have one episode in the past. Maybe a visit to the GP? It's all so difficult isn't it because emotions like "sadness" and "happiness" mean different things to different people don't they, and depression does manifest itself in so many different ways, just to confuse us a bit more!

Sorry you are having a blip too nananina . Really please to see you are 80/20 now though (although when we're in the 20% it's hard to remember the 80%!!)

Hope both your days have been better today.

maybe you need to look to physical causes too, like increasing iron, b12 and vit d? i feel low when my iron levels drop, for instance

Good point on the vitamins. I am lacking vitamin D actually, I had some tests done and that was flagged up.

I want to stay on this thread because it's helpful and lovely. Thanks for starting it, ice. Just adding my to keep it in TIO.

what were your vit d levels and what are you taking? hope the supplements helpnthings xx

Best thing I got from mindful CBT: "it's already here, whatever it is, let me feel it" i.e. not pushing away difficult feelings, letting yourself pause and notice how the body feels and what the mind is thinking. It fluctuates, often there is a cycle, you can learn to recognise the signs and be kind to yourself, have some quiet time to just be however you are.