Not feeling great mentally, please come hold my hand.

[NeedAHandToHoldPlease]

This is so hard to put into words but I'm not feeling great mentally at the moment and I just feel so scared. I feel extremely strange, it's hard to put into words other than I don't feel right at all.

It all probably started 8 years ago after I had PND with DC1, nobody seemed to want to help despite me seeking help and it pretty much went untreated. I suffered PND again with DC2 5 years ago but this time seemed to get crippling anxiety as well as the depression. Once again I was bundled off with anti depressant's which didn't work, counselling was once again refused as I was not deemed "bad enough".

Since then I am really bad in social situations, I have no confidence and find being in these situations nerve wracking. I feel really ill afterwards. Every 6 months or so, I seem to go through a really crushing low, when quite frankly I don't know where to put myself. This is always coupled with crippling anxiety and I just feel really stupid and paranoid. I feel like everyone is laughing at me. I am aware that this is affecting me and I'm not coming across very well.

Please just hold my hand. I'm really scared to broach it with people after the dismissive and uninterested attitude I encountered from family and healthcare professionals last time. I am also scared of flagging this up in case SS get involved with the kids, I've never had any involvement with them before.

Don't want to read and run as I'm here.

Please try other health care people, a different GP or a new practice.

What you are going through is hell and your very own hell, but lots of other people go through their own version of it & a sympathetic GP will help.

Am sure lots of others will be along to give you much better advice than I have.

But MN is here for you - I know I can say that.

Nothing constructive to add but didn't want to read and run, so have a hand to hold.

Get someone arsey to go with you to your GP and ask to be referred for counselling. Dont let her take no for an answer. You will get through this, I promise. The hardest bit is asking for help and admitting you're afraid.

Everyone feels like this sometimes. When it becomes debilitating, you need help and you deserve it,

Please keep posting so these lovely people can help you.

I have recently recovered from PND after having it for 2.5 years. Please go back to the GP and book an appointment with a different doctor for a second opinion. It took me a couple of different doctors before I really got support but after that I've had amazing treatment from the NHS.
Help is out there. Take a deep breath and phone the doctor before your mind gets filled with "what ifs".
They will help, and it can be treated effectively once and for all. I'll be holding your hand.

Agree, you need to push for help, which is hard when you are feeling low. Can you take DP or a friend with you to support you at the appt?

Hello, so sorry for what you are going through and have been through. I agree with previous poster that to try a different gp may be an option. In my experience some are much better with mental health issues than others. I Know its difficult to organise stuff to help you feel well when you are low but I find it helps if you just break down your day in to small tasks eg this morning I will phone for an appointment. This afternoon I will prepare a nice healthy snack ...and so on . my gp recommended a self help website called moodjuice. Its run by nhs Scotland but I'm sure if you google you will find the equivilant in your area. Theres always voluntary organisations for a counselling session too but usually a long waiting list. Worth a try though. You might want to post this in mental health as I'm sure you will get lots of help there.

Thanks for all your replies, it helps to know I'm not alone. As much as I love DH, he is mentally very strong and does not seem to understand this at all. I think because I can hod things together and don't come across as having stereotypical mental health problems, then in his eyes it can't really be that bad. I'm just feeling a bit down to him. Believe me it is much worse than that but scared of telling people how bad I feel.

Have you got any possible real life support at all? If so, try to take that person with you when you go to GP to push for the treatment you need.

If there's nobody you can ask to attend the appointment with you, perhaps write down what treatment you think may work for you and a few stock phrases to help you to push your point home.
For example,
anti depressants alone failed to solve the issue last time so I don't see how they alone can help this time
Or

I am still depressed and now have anxiety too because I didn't receive effective treatment last time. How much worse do you want me to get before you'll consider the treatment that I feel is my best chance of a more extensive recovery

You've got my hand to hold, and my sympathy as I'm currently struggling too. Depression is a bastard to deal with.

I'm here too you aren't alone xxx

Hello OP
Sorry to read that you're feeling like this.
Please let us know if you'd like us to move this to our mental health topic
And do have a look at our web guide to seek RL help too
Very kindest
MNHQ

Yes could you move it please, wasn't thinking when I posted.

Done for you - take care

I am pleased that this is now in a quieter place for you.

Don't be scared (easier said than done).

Whilst your problems are yours & unique to you - you are not the only person who has had problems. Gp's see them all the time & there is help out there for you.

Baking has said it so well.

We are here for you.