I don't think you are being a 'grump bucket'.
P2's birth was quite a shock & trauma for you & I'm not surprised you relive it each year - but that will lessen. Try to think about how good P3's birth was.
And Mr P probably feels that he deals with everything except the children - all the worry about keeping a job, paying the mortgage etc etc.
I know that sounds very un PC & a bit sexist in a way (& I am a hardened & ardent feminist, though I do not post on the boards here!) - but he probably feels some stress as well.
Not often I make the case for the man - but I think you both have so much going on & little time to connect as yourselves, the people who dated, got to know each other, fell in love, had wild sex (!), stayed up all night talking etc etc.
Children are a great joy, there is no greater, but when they are small it's tough for all the adults in the family to try to keep an adult relationship going - Peppa Pig (or whatever) always bloody barges in or 'Can you wipe my bottom' disturbs any moment of togetherness you might try to snatch.
Maybe you are being a tiny, weeny bit of a grump bucket - and I don't blame you for that at all - 3 under 5/6 is not easy.
Try to make even 5 mins just for you & him - talk to him about it - don't suffer in silence.
Here endeth internet gran's homily - and I bet you're berluddy glad it does.
Much love... (((xxx)))
PS Get a cleaner asap!!!