Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Not Driving Away!

999 replies

Pumble · 13/07/2013 14:21

P1 splashing in the paddling pool and P2 having a nap. So pleased to be back and they are so pleased to be with each other again.

Can't believe we got to 1000 posts! You need to change your nn now too don't you wylye ?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumble · 06/06/2015 19:17

Of course I'm back tonight and p2 back to being a pain! Staying calm staying calm staying calm....

En suite sounds great-hopefully the dust will be gone before too long-it does get everywhere though doesn't it!

Lovely sunny day here Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumble · 07/06/2015 19:55

Last night not too bad in the end in terms of p2 but I was a real grump with Mr P!

Tonight she is being such a madam... There seems to be no rhyme or reason to this at all-please tell me it's not pointless me putting her back to bed all the time and she will eventually go back to normal?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumble · 08/06/2015 15:38

Scan for p3 in twenty minutes. So apprehensive. And shattered as didn't sleep at all last night for worrying....

OP posts:
magimedi · 08/06/2015 16:21

I expect you've had the scan by now - hope all is OK.

When is P3 due?

Original poster
Pumble · 08/06/2015 17:46

All went ok at scan Grin despite it being in an awkward position (and sucking it's thumb!)

Due mid October but midwife doesn't think I will get to due date as didn't with the other two (just to surprise me this will be the one that goes to 42 weeks I'm sure!)

OP posts:
magimedi · 08/06/2015 19:21

October is a wonderful time to have a baby - DS was an October birth!

And P3 has plenty of time to change position.

Don't know how midwife can know now about due dates.

Is 'it' an 'it' or do you know??

Original poster
Pumble · 08/06/2015 19:45

It's an it. We like the surprise!

I was surprised by midwife comment too.

OP posts:
magimedi · 08/06/2015 22:28

I am 100% behind the idea of a surprise.

I do remember when DS arrived & the midwife said it's a boy & I really questioned her!!

Was so sure that it was going to be Anna!!

Original poster
Pumble · 09/06/2015 13:09

I think we would think they need to check again if they say it's a boy!

The sonographer said we were v unusual not finding out thes days. She said some people storm out of scan when they can't find out the sex due to poor position etc-was amazed it was that important.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumble · 09/06/2015 19:39

Mr P isn't here and p2 really testing my patience.... Just typing to try and calm myself down.... I feel so angry with her but I know really I'm feeling angry because of all the other shit going on at the moment. I am cross she is messing around though but don't really have the energy to put her back to bed yet again. Feeling like such a failure

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumble · 09/06/2015 19:41

Wish I could go for a long run to clear my head.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumble · 09/06/2015 20:36

Sobbed down the phone to my dad and that has made things a bit better Smile

OP posts:
magimedi · 09/06/2015 22:26

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!!

So wish I could come round, have a Brew & tell you that to your face.

Look how bloody far you have come & what you have overcome & stop berluddy well trying for perfection - perfection does not exist.

You are a great mother to the Pumblettes & you have a lot of other stress going on in your life right now, with pregnancy, moving, Mr P away a lot etc etc.

Cut yourself some slack - you are doing so much better than most do.

And it will not hurt the Pumblettes to grow up knowing that shit happens in life & that it is not all like some idyll of skippy-happy-singing Julie Andrews/Enid Blyton type of mythical childhood.

I went through a lot of tough times when DS was young, left his bio father when DS was 3 with all the rows & horror that that involved & moved DS half way across the country & gave him a new father (my now DH).

He survived & is now a lovely adult!

Children are tough & very resilient, as long as they know there is love there. Which I know (without having ever clapped eyes on you) that the Pumblettes know.

Trust yourself a bit more, dearest Pumble - you are a wonderful person & mother.

Original poster
Pumble · 11/06/2015 20:21

Thank you magi Thanks. Have re-read your post a number of times now especially in harder moments....

You are of course right about children being resilient and not needing Julie Andrews esque childhoods! It's hard though as everywhere around you it feels like this is what we should be striving for at all times!

If I ignore the horror that is bedtime, we are having a good time despite everything going on-just wish I wasn't being driven to distraction at bedtime!! P1 still struggling with nursery drop off but seems to be surviving once there.

Hope you've been enjoying the sunshine. The pumblettes loved the paddling pool today. Making the most of it in case the sunshine stops!

OP posts:
magimedi · 12/06/2015 09:41

Oh, there has always been that 'perfect childhood' myth.

I don't want to be trite, but the bedtime thing will pass - before you know it you'll have the deep & abiding joy (& it really is) of having to wake them in the mornings!

Lovely here, but thunder forecast for later. Going to be very virtuous in a moment and (with DH'd help) clean out the fridge - it looks like a Winter holiday destination for germs atm!!! It's my most hated household chore & I have to phsych myself up to it Grin.

Then I intend to laze in the sun with my book!

Paddling pools are great - children are always happy when messing about with water.

rowrowrowtheboat · 12/06/2015 23:03

Hey Pumble. just checking in. I hope bedtime was better tonight and that you are feeling a little better. magi is right, it will pass. Give your plan a chance to work and have a plan that you and Mr P agree with. Maybe half and hour before bed do something focused on the girls so they feel they have had your undivided attention for that 30minutes. Maybe with a fix of mummy time just before the bedtime routine it may take the need away. I also gave both my girls one of my dolls from childhood and suggested they pretend the doll is mummy as they didn't want to be alone. It works for a short while. It could be a picture, or a teddy you gave them.

And focus on the good time, bedtime is a tricky time but is only part of the day. Remember the rest of the day and don't judge yourself solely on one or two hours.

It will pass and one day you too will be lazing in the sun with a book,piping up occassionally to say 'I remember the days you pumblettes were young and played in the paddling pool, and took forever to get to bed'. You'll then end up going to bed way before them and end up vacuuming by their doors at 11am the next morning in a bid to wake them up and get them moving.

Magi, you may have inspired me to attack our fridge this weekend!

magimedi · 13/06/2015 13:03

Magi, you may have inspired me to attack our fridge this weekend!

Sorry! Not the sort of inspiration I aspire to!!

Original poster
Pumble · 13/06/2015 14:43

You almost inspired me to do mine magi but then I decided I just didn't have the energy so played with pumblettes instead!! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumble · 15/06/2015 21:07

So this evening I heard p1 telling p2. To shout for me so instantly separated them. P1 was distraught and had a total tantrum.... P2 was asleep in seconds... Interesting...

OP posts:
magimedi · 15/06/2015 22:23

Sounds as if you are getting a handle on it, Pumble.

Never forget that you are the adult & you are the one in charge!

Today has been mostly taken up with watching tennis - back to grass again (my fave)- at Queen's. Have most of the week free to watch tennis & then decorators come in next week - total house turmoil will ensue, but am hoping it will all be worth it. First time we've not done DIY, but as we are reaching 60 (me + bad shoulders) & 70 (DH + small stroke a few years ago) there is no way we (I) are doing hall, stairs & landing with all the associated ladders.

PFGD has gained 50% + of her birth weight & DIL said that she never realised what sleep deprivation meant until 4 weeks ago!!

(Trying v.v. hard not to laugh & succeeding!)

Original poster
Pumble · 16/06/2015 21:51

Great news about PFGD. Hope you are still seeing lots of her on Skype. You never forget the sleep deprivation do you? Nothing like it is there?! I think you've earned getting somebody in -enjoy relaxing watching the tennis Smile

Had a super day out with the pumblettes today. Remind me of this when I'm moaning about them and saying they are terrors. They are lovely girls if I do say so myself.

OP posts:
magimedi · 16/06/2015 22:22

Have never met the Pumblettes but I know, with every fibre of my being that they are great girls.

I will remind you!!

'Nother hard day at the coal face of tennis tomorrow! Grin

rowrowrowtheboat · 17/06/2015 20:51

Glad you have both had good days.

Original poster
Pumble · 21/06/2015 08:15

So Mr P about to leave for another week away. Please remind me I will be ok as at the moment feeling teary and dreading the loneliness. I know it will be ok but it just gets so lonely at times.

Hope you're having a good weekend Smile

OP posts:
magimedi · 21/06/2015 08:48

I alweays found the leaving bit the worst, Pumble. Once he'd gone I used to go out or do something like clean & keep busy & then could start counting down till he got back.

You will be fin. Are their friends you can have a chat with in the evenings? I used to make phone dates with friends & sit down with a Brew or Wine & have a natter.

Pop on here if you feel lonely, there's always some silly chat going on somewhere & I always look in here when I'm on line.