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Avoiding friends with

51 replies

tribpot · 04/06/2006 18:59

This is just me rambling, but I'm very upset and anxious.

Tomrrow I've got a lunch arranged with two of my friends from uni. One is childfree (and basically hates children), the other one of these people who seems to have effortlessly glided into motherhood with a perfect 6 month old dd, rich husband, etc. (Last time I spoke to her she couldn't come out to lunch cos she had Pilates in the morning and then Water Babies in the afternoon, I felt like utter crap that I just can't get my life together like that. Not that I want to do Pilates anyway!).

I won't have ds (nearly one year old) with me as I have to go to work in the morning, but they really upset me last time with disparaging comments about him in comparison with my friend's dd, who was only a few weeks old then and so slept the whole time we were out. They kept saying "why is [ds] trying to eat the menu? Why is he trying to throw everything on to the floor?" Hello, because he's six months old.

On top of which, my dh is chronically ill and has been ever since I met him, steadily getting worse. We are in a very low, low place, he can barely leave the house, there is no end in sight and no-one even really knows what's wrong with him. Of course they can't understand what that's like - and I think both of them believe there's nothing actually wrong with him anyway, he's just stringing me along. I have a full-time job and no childcare for ds, dh and I have to sort of joggle it between us and pray for long naps in the day so I can work.

All in all, I think I should just cancel lunch tomorrow. I've known these people for 16 years but it feels like we live in different worlds, and I'm just too tired and frustrated to be bothered being 'up' around them or answering their questions about dh's health, or having them be rude about ds and the fact he's not a Stepford Child.

I feel so much resentment, not just that their lives seem so much eaiser than mine, but that they don't even seem to notice (let alone care) how hard mine is.

OP posts:
Lainey6 · 08/06/2006 23:42

As I said before, you sound like a genuine person and probably kind,caring and understanding & no doubt take people as you find them when you first meet!? Dont ever change yourself. I can count on one hand & still have space, for the friends I have in my life that I trust. I do have a lot of other friends that I love and care about but I dont give 100% friendship because I have learned to keep a part of myself back. Its actually quite sad that I have turned out this way but I have been betrayed/hurt too much and it just makes me very wary now. My hubby, is now,and always will be, the only one that I have the utmost trust in. I hate to say it, but like me, you probably just attract them.But don let it get you down because if this is the finalstrawith your friends then you will have learned and be more wary in future. You will see the signs.

One of my friends who is a very honest, down to earth person just HATES kids and I admire her honesty. Thats her choice! Shes still my friend.

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