At The End of My Rope

[Butterflywgs]

I did something terrible.
I can't undo it or make it better.
I will have a black mark against my name forever.
I have failed everyone in my life and let them down. I am a complete failure and my life is a mess.
I am really struggling with suicidal thoughts. Not just idle thoughts. It would be better for the world, quite honestly.

You can't undo what is done that is true but you can learn from your actions and make your peace by doing so.

You sound very alone and in a dark place right now but things can get better. Have you spoken to anyone about how you're feeling?

Thanks for the kind words. I have to try to believe that things can get better rationally although I don't feel that way.
I have the Samaritans in my mobile phone contacts - I call them so regularly .
I will get some professional help...I just needed to offload that tonight.

I hop it has made you feel better to get it down in black and white; the world will still turn.

What specifically do you want to get better in your life?

Are there steps you can take towards reparation for the thing you did?

I hope that you find some peace and self forgiveness. You were brave to post, it's a good start.

I am glad that you will seek some help, I really hope you can move forward and find some peace.

Do you want to talk a bit more about what has happened recently?

Are you in the UK? I presume you have trouble sleeping lately?