Feel like I've failed

[SaveWaterDrinkMalibu]

Been to doctors& had my anti depressants dosage doubled!

It's made me feel like I'm letting depression beat me.
I've given up now
I'm covered in bite marks & tried over dosing

It's quite common for GPs to increase the dose of ADs in the hope that they will be beneficial. Depression is a torment and it's only those of us that suffer from it who know what it is like. I know what you mean that the depression is controlling you and I feel like this too, as when you still feel crap even though taking meds, it's hard to feel in control.

Are you biting as a way of self harm. I know sometimes this is an "outlet" usually when our anxiety is really high, but try not to break your skin. Overdose is no way out really, because we don't know how many tablets to take. Sounds like you have suicidal thoughts, known as suicide ideation (in the sense we want to be rid of the pain) rather than to actually die.

Ring Samaritans - that might help.

Take care. With depression there are many fluctuations and I'm sure you've had times when you have felt better than you do now, and that will happen again.

Thanks for your kind words

The biting is self harm, have broken the skin a few times
The whole overdose thing is more of a cry for help and to end the pain rather than die

Oh god it looks like you are not sleeping either (cus of time of your post) I know exactly what you mean about wanting the pain to end rather than die. I feel crap today after a long run of being ok and this is how it is. I have a bloody Headmonster who sleeps for ages and then starts going on the rampage in my head, making me feel flat, miserable, empty.

How are you today?

Oh god it looks like you are not sleeping either (cus of time of your post) I know exactly what you mean about wanting the pain to end rather than die. I feel crap today after a long run of being ok and this is how it is. I have a bloody Headmonster who sleeps for ages and then starts going on the rampage in my head, making me feel flat, miserable, empty.

How are you today?

Sometimes we are started on a lower dose of ADs to help our bodies get used to them, i think most people end up having to have the dosage upped. I started on 10mg citalopram and went up to 20mg. Was on 40mg before. Its not about letting the depression win, its about getting the chemicals to the right level. The meds don't treat the depression - only we can do that, if that makes sense. The meds help with the physiological side of it.

Hi Nana - hope you are ok, give that headmonster a kick from me!

If you need your ADs doubled, you do.

The depression is not your fault.
And cant always be under control unfortunately.

I am not sure from your post when you overdosed. Before you went to the GP, or after?

Sorry don't want to hi-jack the thread just a very quick Hello to Lem x

Hope you're doing ok, NanaNina