My feed
Premium
Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

Mother and baby unit??

305 replies

martha2013 · 04/05/2013 19:19

Does anyone have any experience of such places? I'm 39+3 weeks pregnant with my very much planned and wanted second child. I have a diagnosis of bipolar and due to risks to baby have recently stopped my anti-psychotic. My psychiatrist thinks my mood is becoming high. I disagree. She is talking about mother and baby hospital after birth. I'm terrified and thinking of doing a runner!

OP posts:
Report
Averted · 16/05/2013 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

working9while5 · 16/05/2013 08:50

Scottishmummy, your posts are horrible, I'm sorry. Do you have any idea what it's like to be spoken about in those terms? I don't care if you can quote evidence about them from here to eternity, Martha is first and foremost a HUMAN BEING who is in pain and suffering and the way you reduce it to clinical detail is not helping!

Martha you ARE valid. You also are NOT your illness.

My experience of Mother and Baby Units is this: the community team were much more full of all this crappy language about deterioration and disengagement and liking to sound full of themselves with their superior knowledge about mental health Hmm but on the ward itself they were nothing but caring and there WITH you and your baby. Safe. Warm. Nurturing. Seeing you and your pain as valid. Helping you to normalise all these fears that you have. Supporting you to get through the hard bits.

Generally, professionals who work intensively with people in pain are way better at talking about these things. They've seen it all and then some and they accept what is reality for you without talking to your illness... they will talk to you, not your symptoms.

I haven't had the elevated mood you have but I did crash very much after the birth. It was a really awful time and I remember it as being a bit of a blur. You really need people who get that. It is really hard for your partner to understand.

For some reason, women are more vulnerable on a second pregnancy - I think it's because of all the natural fears of what bringing another person into your house provokes in your illness. Your mind is trying to avoid these natural fears and because of that it is making you (paradoxically) much, much more ill.

You will be heard a lot more clearly on a Mother and Baby Unit. It's not what anyone wants at the start of pregnancy but it is the best place to go right now and it will give you what you MOST need... space to be seen, care for you that is sensitive for the fear that you feel, knowledge your baby will be cared for and you will be cared for. You can't see these positives now because you're seeing FROM your thoughts rather than being able to look AT your thoughts and see that you're just scared. This is making you very ill and it is unfortunately likely to make you a LOT more ill if you don't get help now.

I am thinking of you a lot. I really hope that you feel that you can get this help as soon as possible because I've been there and I know that you need it.

Hugs.

Report
martha2013 · 16/05/2013 11:05

Thank you so much for your kind and considered replies. Your compassion and empathy is very important to me. I'm 41+1 now and the end seems in sight. I know I need medication sooner rather than later but I am definitely wanting to wait until after delivery. Everything feels a bit racey and speeded up, feels impossible to try and reply properly but I have really appreciated your comments.

OP posts:
Report
working9while5 · 16/05/2013 13:33

Any luck with induction Martha? They agreed an induction at 41+3 for me (normally would be 41+7) so I could get on with medication and wrote a plan for the labour staff of who to call if I showed signs of psychosis e.g. to stop me being sent to a general psych ward. Maybe this would help?

In the end I went into labour myself on that very morning but the staff in the normal ward were so kind.. they pushed aside usual protocol and let me go in during the early stages and gave me the home from home room which was really calm and not at all clinical, with soft lighting etc. They gave me a lot of space and privacy as well.

You might find if you get in touch and set up something like this that you feel a lot better and then you can transition to meds when you have had the baby. I didn't take meds before birth either though I can see it would have helped avoid the crash. It's not an easy decision.

Report
martha2013 · 16/05/2013 17:38

Induction booked in for next Tuesday....saw a midwife I'd never met so she had no idea of my situation and made no mention of it.

OP posts:
Report
scottishmummy · 16/05/2013 19:34

9-5 it's really distasteful that you chose to argue with me and berate posts
please vent your ire and dissatisfaction elsewhere
this is not about you

Report
working9while5 · 16/05/2013 20:31

Martha, I would strongly urge you to let them know your situation. As you are feeling high and speeded up right now, you are at high risk for postpartum psychosis. You need a plan in place so you are given the right meds either way and if you do become psychotic they are aware as you could be a danger to yourself or your baby. That is not what you want, you know this. If you face this now, even though it feels like hell, you will be safer. I know you would do anything to avoid the fear of losing it to that extent but the paradox is that running away from doing what you need to now because of that fear makes it more likely you will be at risk.

You need to act. You can do it.

Scottishmummy, with all due respect, it's not about me but it's not about you either. My comments were because I found your tone unhelpful and I know that those kind of comments can seem very frightening and threatening to women in distress when they most need to trust the system. It should really be obvious that my comments weren't about me.

Report
scottishmummy · 16/05/2013 20:57

9-5 you're still talking about yourself and generalising about what you think women want
don't enact your gripe with my posts on mh thread,it's inappropriate
I stand by my posts.they were not addressed to you

Martha as I have said best wishes

Report
working9while5 · 16/05/2013 21:33

Martha, you mentioned at the beginning that you are being seen by a perinatal mental health specialist and that it wasn't your usual doctor and you felt that you didn't know this new specialist. Could you contact your usual doctor to discuss how you are feeling?

SM, I am not generalising or talking about myself or what women want. It's not inappropriate to share your experiences on a mental health forum where someone has come to look for support from fellow service-users. It's often important for people in distress to feel heard, understood and listened to and also to hear that others have felt the same. This is not exactly a new or radical concept in mental health care.

Report
martha2013 · 17/05/2013 20:16

Delivered a beautiful little girl last night. Very quick labour. Could not be more delighted.

OP posts:
Report
SnowyMouse · 17/05/2013 20:18

Congratulations martha Grin

Report
working9while5 · 17/05/2013 22:04

Congratulations Martha, hope you are both well and you are enjoying newborn snuggles x

Report
scottishmummy · 17/05/2013 22:27

congratulations,hope you all well.

Report
lougle · 18/05/2013 07:53

Congratulations, Martha Smile

Report
Elderflowergranita · 19/05/2013 00:21

Wonderful news Martha. Hope you are doing well with your beautiful daughter. Smile

Report
martha2013 · 19/05/2013 16:20

Going home and feeling great. She is amazing, as is her big bro. I'm so in love!

OP posts:
Report
Elderflowergranita · 19/05/2013 23:51

Enjoy it all, you've earned it!

Report
martha2013 · 24/05/2013 16:54

So as my doctor predicted, after four weeks of an unmedicated high I have left myself with very few reserves to cope with the demands of a newborn and a young child. I'm really exhausted and feel very anxious about my daughter. I'm terrified my son is going to hurt her. I don't know how rational my thinking is or what is normal for the first few weeks after giving birth. The plan was that I would be seen every day for 14 to spot early psychosi but the bank holiday seems to have messed that up as no one is coming till Tuesday. I want to prove I can cope but my head keeps wandering to dark places. I love my little family so much I don't want to let the professionals know what's going on in my head in case anyone tries to take them away.

OP posts:
Report
lougle · 24/05/2013 17:35

They won't take them away, Martha. They will want to give you enough support to let you be the Mum you need to be and to stay safe.

Tell them. Don't keep anything from them.

They are waiting for you to let them help you, that's all they want to do.

Report
scottishmummy · 24/05/2013 21:39

phone the out of hours team immediately get some support
you need support, accept help
make that call

Report
martha2013 · 28/05/2013 13:27

Really desperately want to be ok but finding this so hard. I'm exhausted.

OP posts:
Report
lougle · 28/05/2013 13:32

Martha, that's because you are resisting the help that will make it easier.

Let them help you. You are in control - only you can accept the help you need.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

SnowyMouse · 28/05/2013 14:43

Please be open with them

Report
martha2013 · 28/05/2013 18:15

I have told them I am struggling but the only answer they have is medication and I can't risk giving my daughter a dose of antipsychotic and bf is too important to me to give up.

OP posts:
Report
scottishmummy · 28/05/2013 22:34

its about balance,your welfare,your mh,and the baby wellbeing
perinatal psych will know what meds safe bf,and discuss choices
you need to engage in that discussion,how to maintain good mh,and feeding baby

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.