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Original poster

NHS Direct says call an ambulance because I am suicidal??

72 replies

MyBloominMarvellousYoni · 28/04/2013 21:32

What would an ambulance do? Apart from take me to A&E and leave me there for hours then let me go??

I am starting to feel that the only way out of this mess is to just kill myself!!!

I want to scream really loudly that I am NOT OK. But nobody is there to listen.

The crisis team discharged me a few weeks ago and I was given a care co-ordinator but I have heard nothing in weeks and I have been left totally alone. (New BPD diagnosis)

If the CMHT aren't taking me seriously then whats the point????!

**Having a rant as I have nobody else to talk to and I am going to burst with all of this inside me

OP posts:
mrsfassbender · 28/04/2013 21:34

Stay on here, I will listen and I'm sure others will too.
Can you call Crisis team now?

kissmyheathenass · 28/04/2013 21:35

Hi, Im here too. Is no one there with you?

kissmyheathenass · 28/04/2013 21:36

I have been in a similar place to you. It didn't last forever.

Makeminealarge · 28/04/2013 21:38

Call the crisis team. Failing that nhs111 as they can point u in right direction who can help. You're not alone and there are people who are willing to listen x

GracieLoo · 28/04/2013 21:38

God this could be me right now! Sorry not much advice but I know exactly how you are feeling. Call the cc tomorrow, chase them up. I get what you mean about screaming and no one hears, i've also just had that diagnosis and feeling crap right now.

mrsfassbender · 28/04/2013 21:39

are you there, Yoni? whereabouts in UK are you?

mrsfassbender · 28/04/2013 21:40

Did your crisis team give you a number to call if you felt this way?

kissmyheathenass · 28/04/2013 21:40

And also these people always listned.
www.samaritans.org/?gclid=CJSRwvyb7rYCFTMRtAodMwwAGw

msrisotto · 28/04/2013 21:42

Well the a,balance would take you to the inpatient mental health ward I guess, to keep you safe whilst you feel this way.

Have you tried calling the Samaritans before? here
Is there a friend or family member you can talk to?

msrisotto · 28/04/2013 21:42

Ambulance not a balance!

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 28/04/2013 21:43

Call your crisis team back, and keep calling them.

Failing that can you get hold of the number for a nearby area crisis team. They shouldn't be allowed to fail you.
Hang on in there.

Nagoo · 28/04/2013 21:50

If you had a friend who was suicidal you'd phone 999. It should be the same if you feel that was yourself.

YoniOrNotYoni · 28/04/2013 21:53

Samaritans? Us?

NonnoMum · 28/04/2013 21:55

OP - I LOVE your name!

Keep talking to us...

TheChaoGoesMu · 28/04/2013 21:58

Yoni, call 999. You need to get somewhere safe now. Please keep talking.

Original poster
MyBloominMarvellousYoni · 28/04/2013 21:58

I have emailed the Samaritans before (I am not good on the phone) but I think I preferred talking here.

I had a bit of a breakdown a few weeks ago but I felt forced to try and get better (Or at least look better) for everyone else's sake.

My DP keeps saying that if I am off work we will lose the house which makes me feel awful so I try and hide it then I just get so worked up the more it builds. Tonight I am ready to explode with it all :(

OP posts:
kissmyheathenass · 28/04/2013 22:00

Is dp generally supportive?
Would you really lose the house?

Original poster
MyBloominMarvellousYoni · 28/04/2013 22:00

The crisis team couldn't wait to get rid of me. They discharged me to the CMHT and I have been left despite telling them both I wasn't ready.

I feel like everything is so fake. They are making it look like they are being helpful but they are more bothered about getting patients off their books.

OP posts:
TheChaoGoesMu · 28/04/2013 22:00

Yoni, please call 999. Don't worry about work and the house at the moment. Your safety is far more important. Everything else can be sorted out later.

Original poster
MyBloominMarvellousYoni · 28/04/2013 22:01

Kiss He is trying his best. He doesn't really know what to do.

I have to earn enough to cover our rent every month (He pays the rest of the bills) So if I can't do that then yes we wouldn't be able to live here anymore :(

OP posts:
Grockle · 28/04/2013 22:02

When I called my crisis team a few weeks ago because I felt suicidal & unsafe, the duty worker said 'Can you do some paperwork or something? I don't really know what to say... we'll discuss you in our meeting next week & will call you back.' Hmm

So, that was helpful.

I don't know what to suggest, other than reminding yourself that it will get easier. I can sit here & say that to you but it's not so easy to actually do. Do you have DC? I sometimes go into DS's room & sniff him & poke him... it reminds me that I cannot die.

Original poster
MyBloominMarvellousYoni · 28/04/2013 22:03

TheChao I am scared. Scared of letting everyone down again. Scared of what DP will think of me when I tell him. Scared that I will become homeless.

All this is stopping me :( It is also making me want to end things even more so I can't win :(

OP posts:
Original poster
MyBloominMarvellousYoni · 28/04/2013 22:04

Nope no DC. Just me and DP.

I have been waiting all day for the feeling to go away. Each miniute at work I thought 'It will go away soon' but it has just got stronger!

OP posts:
mrsfassbender · 28/04/2013 22:05

I can't believe how rubbish your crisis team are being Sad

I don't know what to suggest; do you have friends close by? Are you feeling like you may hurt yourself? Is anyone in the house at the moment?

I have been there, Yoni, and I used to make myself go and look at DC sleeping to try and help me feel better

mrsfassbender · 28/04/2013 22:06

X-post, sorry Yoni. Can you talk to DP?