Insensitive GP

[BimbaBirba]

So I took DS to my GP this afternoon as a first appointment to assess for potential ASD and OCD and referral if appropriate. She's an incredibly harsh person but I thought that she would know better than to fire questions at my son like you would do with an adult! He's 9 FFS! You can't start off by saying: "So D, you are scared of sharp knives and you don't like germs?". DS went like "what???". She then told me off in front of him for not preparing him well enough for today's appointment! In fact I had prepared him as well as I knew how to and it wasn't easy! He got really upset with the GP by the lack of empathy and direct questioning and we weren't going anywhere so I took it in my own hands and started talking to him like we do at home. He finally calmed down and talked a bit about his issues.
What shall I do?Complain? Change practice? Is it asking too much of a GP to be able to talk to a 9 year old in an age-appropriate way about mental health?

I would complain and demand to see a different GP. She was crass, insensitive and clearly has no idea of how to approach such issues. Even if she did listen at all eventually, she has already set a dynamic that your son may find too hard to overcome.

Difficult one. Ddn is 9 and seen by a fair few consultants/ GPs for physical and emotional issues and always been questioned directly by them. It's always been fine.

Meant to say I am usually surprised by the directness of their questioning but it's caused no issues. I guess the GP isn't to know ho dc will react.

A few GPs I've seen have seemed to lack a level of understanding, though maybe it's just been a bad day for me and them. I generally just book to see someone else. I'm sure that GPs have different strengths and weaknesses with patients, and while they'll gate-keep the referral, they will have little diagnostic or therapeutic experience with ASD or child mental health conditions. Personally, I wouldn't bother complaining or changing practice, but I would see a different GP and avoid this one in future. (All GP practices I've been with, you can book with whomever you want to see, whether their name is on your card as 'your GP' or not).

For something like a referral for ASD or OCD assessment I'd have some notes so I could say things without the child hearing, and expect to have to overemphasise how serious things are. Referrals into ASD-teams and CAMHS seem to be like hens'-teeth at the moment.

I have a 10yr old DS with ASD and I usually support his conversation with most health professionals, interpreting questions for him and giving him the structure to manage. Communication - especially with an unfamiliar non-specialist - is likely to be hard.

Exactly! I didn't go into details in my OP to avoid boring people but what really happened was that I booked an appointment to see her without my son last week and I took my notes with me to make sure I was very thorough in my explanation of his problems. She asked me to have a paper copy of my notes so, ahead of the appointment, I dropped it off for her attention. She did advise me to prepare my DS for the appointment and I said that I would do my best. Unfortunately, when we got there, the first thing she did was show him my notes and, reading from them, she started firing questions at him. My DS felt betrayed that I had written notes about him and didn't tell him. The GP then had a right go at me saying that I had failed to do my part and prepare him like I said I would. I was highly embarrassed by this situation but managed to defend myself by saying that I had prepared him by telling him that we would go to see a GP about his behaviour and some of his obsessive traits but didn't go into a lot of detail because I didn't know what level of detail I needed to go into, if that makes sense?
It was just awful and I cannot believe that a GP can be so ignorant and insensitive at the same time.

No, OP, you are right. It was a betrayal of trust to show the notes you made on your ds. I would have assumed that wouldn't be shared. Change GP.

Should I complain? I wish I felt stronger and more up for it because she totally deserves a formal complaint

You could ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. My DS never saw the GP, I took along my notes and they arranged the referral. He just saw the paed.