have name changed
Didn't want to paste in relationships, I know IHBU, cannot handle a flaming.
Usual back story, my mum was very angry, used to slap me a lot when a child. Have yet not learnt how to control my temper even though I am 40.
DP knows all this & has a way of pushing my buttons, and today was needling me.
So this is a bit long...
We were all trying to leave the house for a day out buying stuff for the house we are renovating & needed to be somewhere for lunch beforehand. (I had already taken 2 yo DS to babygymn this morning, DS was not being co-operative when we needed to leave, no help from DP.) Then I asked DP did you make the list of all the stuff we need from the builders yard? ("no, I was too busy") Even though I know DS was asleep by 7pml usually he is up till 9/ 10pm (as I had to go to a parent's thing & texted DP last night & he told me) Then DP spent an hour chatting to the people we have renting a holiday cottage from us, and also had time to have a bath, as I saw the state of it when I came back, so basically he did not make the time.... however managed to turn it round to me and say, "well someone has to oil the wheels with the guests as you don't get on with anyone". (He had already been going on about this earlier in the morning, which . I had ignored.)
However, in the car, I just flipped and before I even know I had done it I had slapped him. I guess looking back It was just the unfairness of it all as I do all the management of the holiday cottage, have been dealing with the guests as well as DS, whilst DP has been at the other house we are renovating.
This is not the first time I have hit DP, but the circumstances are always similar. He has would me up and then I have reacted without even thinking.
have posted in mental health as i really need some advice on how to control my temper. DS was in the car and saw all of this.
(I am overseas btw, so not same access to resources such as counselling in the UK)
thanks if you managed to read this far