we were all in the bed, this is the 2nd thread....roll over! roll over!

[ThatVikRinA22]

so we all rolled over and hellebelles told us to get our arses out of bed......

ive started a new one because there are only a few posts left on the old thread before it gets full.

nana ive described myself on the old thread just for you!

so.

nana hellesbelles mama ed silvery and basset and any one else who posted on the old thread or who relates to our experiences and wants to post on the new one....welcome to the new thread.

old one here

I've just found the thermostat saying 30 , the builder must have knocked it :(

Did you notice it getting too warm in the house? I like a cool house, my Ex and DD preferred it hotter, I find temperature is a bigger factor than I would have thought, in terms of my mental wellbeing.

Yes, the radiators kept going on. I prefer to be cool but wrapped up myself.

Sounds like you are going to get the builder back in snowymouse - can you turn the thermostat down (it's usually a dial that you can turn to something lower) you need to get it down otherwise your gas or electric bill will be through the roof!

HB why do you think you would have been a "much worse person without your mh person" I feel the opposite. Did you mean £5 btw? If so things sound pretty bad - are you getting all the allowances you are entitled to.

My HM is at last getting a bit drowsy.

Where are you Ed and how are you Vicar and SPC and everyone else whose names I can't bring to mind!

NN I wouldn't be the person I am without my mh history, and I now like the person that I am (and always have been, really). I now have a wealth of unique experience which I think I can utilise now that I am in recovery. I will always need to watch out for stress, overload and burnout, and take a small dose of AD each morning.

But that is me, I didn't have a HM of my own, just a deep dark grey monotonous place of pointless nothingness within me, at my worst...it was severe depression that one, but it only lasted 6 months. Then it went back to the niggling dreary depression of being in a situation which nothing seemed to change, and in which motivation to do anything had evaporated.

I do get unmotivated sometimes, but am better at catching it early and doing something about it, and this thread has also helped enornously :)

Hi all.

Hugs to all.

Im just srruggling to keep up with all on the thread so feel it is rude to come and witter about myself and not include others...but I can't keep up with everyone else at if that makes sense.

I am still here. I am still reading. And I am most certainly still thinking of you all.

good question nina, there have been two great watersheds in my life. the first was becoming pregnant with ds. overnight, I stopped drinking everyday, started working harder and generally looking after myself better. but I was still paranoid and very anxious. more than ever in fact.

the second was my nervous breakdown a few years ago. after that, I started taking responsibility for the things that had gone wrong that were my own doing and I became less self-obsessed.

I realised, during cbt, that I barely remembered anyone from my schooldays (and unidays) mostly because I wasn't actually interested in them - just in what they thought of me. depression is a very selfish disease and I was very selfish. yes, I felt that whatever went wrong was my fault (something I still have to remind myself not to do) but I also thought every whisper was about me, every laugh was at me, every look was measuring me up and finding me wanting. everything, in short, was about me.

after my nervous breakdown, once I'd spent a few months healing, I was in a better place than I'd ever been and I could see how self-obsessed I had been - and how poor a person that had made me. there's an argument that the self-obsession was a result of my ongoing social anxiety. I think it's more a chicken and egg thing. I wasn't good enough for my mum so I was worried about being good enough for others, so I looked for cues and when I found them I was more worried, etc. social anxiety feeds itself so well. it's a renewable anxiety source!

re money - it's a major anxiety trigger for me. when I get depresses I stop opening post and sometimes get into financial difficulties as a result so, when I'm coming out of a depression, I go completely austere and panic about every penny to het myself sorted out again. that's the phase I'm in now after this winter's dip. thank God my church sends me on retreat every February to give me a time out!

I'm getting all the help I am entitled too but got grumpy earlier about a thread on which some people were complaining that austerity is making them consider downsizing from a 300k house! they just don't have a clue.

blimey ed you once said we were twins - we are. you just posted what i was gonna - i just cant quite keep up. im thinking of you all but cant witter on about me when i know you are all having a hard time too, and threads moving quite fast, i hope you are all feeling better tomorrow. im reading - just not managing to compute. having a weird time at min.

hugs to all - all but not managing to post much.
xxx

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible
Comfort of feeling safe with a person,
Having neither to weight thoughts,
Nor measure words--but pouring them
All right out--just as they are
Chaff and grain together,
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them,
Keep what is worth keeping,
And with the breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.

Found this today and thought of us all . Hope you dont find it too yuck . People on mumsnet can make such a difference . To me they surely do

vicar ed I don't think it would bother anyone on this thread if you came on and just said how you were doing! that's one of the beat things about this thread, I think. I come on and type reams about the most random crap a couple of times a day. others come on and share less but say what needs saying kindly and concisely. it take all kinds to keep our thread going. and you're both good discussion-starters and kind to others. both crucial attributes.

when you feel able (and are on a computer rather than a mobile so you can read and type) it'll be easier to interact more directly with others.

basset i think thats lovely.

i thought i was going backwards yesterday - but i phone a friend who put a different spin on things. maybe im getting stronger.

its weird - on here i take such comfort, and yet i feel bad that others feel bad too. but i feel so much less alone. and that is priceless and not something i can feel with anyone else or any where else, other than here.

x

bf perfect x

helles i feel selfish for just coming on here and moaning without acknowledging others struggles too.

im having a bit of a funny spell at min - feeling very very odd - detached almost from reality.
cant get my head around whats coming.
having the weirdest dreams ever that are truly disturbing - i dreamt i being murdered last night - it was like watching a film - i watched it twice but i was in it - i felt the fear of being hunted and targeted and then drowned. i was strangled and drowned.
i woke up so upset. my dreams are really disturbing me and im scared to sleep.

im having lots of other bother with various things - feeling a fool, taken advantage of on so many levels.

ive not taken meds yet tonight. im scared they are contributing to the weird dreams.
yesterday i just kept crying all day with sheer frustration and sadness at where ive ended up - that i try to do the right thing all the time and get abused for my troubles.

i feel weak and stupid.

The number of posters on here is great - and, like the EA thread in Relationships (where my backstory can be pieced together) there are too many to acknowledge all in each post, nevertheless like this one discussions take place and we help each other with sharing and analysing experience, as things arise. iyswim.

I mean that it's great that there are a fair few posters on here...

vicar that all sounds horrendous but you have to take your medication love or you'll feel worse. I would maybe try taking them in the morning - I found I selpt better after I'd switched.

are you still getting fried off the neighbours about the drive? selfish gits saying they want things one way then complaining about it and upsetting you. I think I'll borrow the harpoon we normally hoy at nina's hm and jab it into their drives!

I hate that separated from reality feeling but, remember, it's your body's way of trying to protect you. do you feel able to try to get some sleep? could you try a relaxation cd or similar which could put you into a relaxed(ish) frame of mind before sleep so that you have a less disturbed night/

i went for hypno therapy (perversely to pass fitness test for police) but she gave me a "let go of stress" cd which is on my ipod - i will listen tonight.

think i might miss the meds tonight and take with breakfast in morning and see if it makes any difference.

i cant handle these dreams. i hate this weird detached feeling - not had it before.
thank god DH is being a star - really truly he is being my rock at the min. He is doing everything and trying to keep me grounded. He was up at 1am for work today but still helped me tidy house, he did an internet shop and walked dog with me. i would go insane without him.

neighoburs and drive - still winding me up no end. not seen them today. feeling very very off with them and dont want to see them - my anger is consuming me - i tried to do the right thing - i consulted with them every step - they dictated what i could do and now they dont like the result and im speechless with rage about it all.

DH is trying so hard to make me let go of it. but i cant. im enraged that my good will has been abused so much.

will go to bed soon and listen to hypno therapy cd. will take meds in morning. am up early as have a plumber coming.

Hope the CD works, vicar. It could be the meds. If I miss 2 days in a row, my dreams go odd and vivid, useful to me in a way as it acts as a check and I am prone to forget (from feeling so well!)

Sounds like a good plan vicar. ignore them next door - they're not worthy of you or your thoughts. there's nothing you can - or should - do about it now so let them sort out their problems and you and dh have a good laugh at them and their inability to make a sensible decision (and stick to it) and their pettymindedness.

sleep well and wake well x

Take your meds Vicar if you can . Honestly try not to skip a dose.
What you describe sounds like depersonalisation ......an acute horrible feeling related to anxiety . No harm will come to you .
re dreams : meds do give you whacky dreams but sometimes your subconscious is also trying to tell you something .
I woke too many times crying in my sleep until my OH said enough is enough .
Listen to your inner voice . Work ?

Good morning everyone. Level 2 but going back to bed to have a nap very soon.

That nap helped :)

Morning all, all good here, level 1 (nighty and dressing gown), and it has snowed! Have been looking after friend's DS (13) for last 3 days - well he's been staying, and has had a great time, as have I. Haven't lost the kid managing skills I learnt with my own DC

afternoon all.

i was up early - plumber has been and gone and ive watered the new grass with the outside tap - had to call water company as found out that the stop tap in the street that supplied my house has no tap in it . anyway - im on level 3 but no bonus points yet - need to go and sort face out.

me and dh are going out for tea tonight as its my birthday on monday. dd is out with her boyfriend, ds not home this weekend.

feeling a bit better this morning and have taken meds with lunch. will try and take them earlier in the day to see if the weird dreams subside. maybe subconsciously i feel like im being metaphorically "drowned" with things that i feel unable to sort.

yes am panicking about going back to work. checking email daily to see if i have an interview for the nhs job i applied for....please keep your fingers crossed for me.