we were all in the bed, this is the 2nd thread....roll over! roll over!

[ThatVikRinA22]

so we all rolled over and hellebelles told us to get our arses out of bed......

ive started a new one because there are only a few posts left on the old thread before it gets full.

nana ive described myself on the old thread just for you!

so.

nana hellesbelles mama ed silvery and basset and any one else who posted on the old thread or who relates to our experiences and wants to post on the new one....welcome to the new thread.

old one here

Hi everyonr....im. desperate for a restful day too.

Im popping in to calm mysrlf down.

I went to bed earlyish. But now im awake. I used to wake regularly when first on the meds.

This is different.

I feel wierd. I feel 'wired'. I don't even know what it feels like to be on drugs. I've never done it. But I need a way to describe it.

I am wierdly jittery. I can't stop moving. Jittery...jerky...pointless....rolling around the bed...writhing....but not in pain...just like my body is bored and doesn't want to stay still. although that has calmed a bit now I'm focusing on my phone...its kind of just my legs now.

I feel nauseous...sicky nauseous...not just nauseous. ..does that even make sense?

My head hurts...at the back. Behind my left ear..in waves....strong intense waves.

I'm kind of scared. I dunno why. Somethings not right. I dunno why I am posting...just need something to do to focus my body and calm it down...I am soooo sleepy tho...but can't sleep...now 1 finger joint is throbbing....kind of with my pulse.

I'm scared. A bit. Im not in pain or anything (well head and finger keep hurting)...but i just feell wierd in a way i cant explain. Is it stress? Is it the meds? I know i am showing signs of heightened stress atm...conversational coherence etc..I'm at home alone with dcs. Now my eardrum has a pinpoint pain.

I just need to talk...sorry for rambling...going tk try and sleep now that I have had something to focus my mind on...soery again...

Ignore my middle of the night rant.

Im not sure what went on there.

I seem to recall some pretty horrid and vivid dreams mingled in too.

Needless to saying I vented in mt safe place. Feeling pretty shaky about it all this morning. Not sure what went on there

I'm sorry you had a bad night ed :( I hope you get some catch up rest.

Hi ed - night's like that ate awful. couple of thoughts: you have been struggling to maintain a schedule to take your ad's and overdue doses can mess up your brain chemistry.

also you'd had racing thoughts during the day which may have prevented you sleeping while the other things you experienced could have been extreme tiredness.

allow yourself a nap later and make sure you take your medication on time - even if you need to set yourself an alarm on your phone

Thanks helles and snowy.

I was just really freaked at the time. Never experienced anything like that. Even reading it back now I dont remember typing most of it. and i dont think i would have remebered it happening if i hadn't read it back. I just came here to distract myself from the awfulness of it. It did help tho because I think I went off pretty easily after.

After that I had an awful dream which was based 80% on the childhood abuse which hasn't 'bothered' me for years with characters substituted by those involved in more recent unrelated traumas. It just really freaked me out.

I have not had a restful night for the last few nights.

I feel awful this morning tho. My head cold is raging. I am pretty wheezy and chesty. I am feverish. My nose is blocked. My ears are blocked. My joints ache. my thighs hurt. My neck and shoulders hurt. My throat hurts. I am nauseous. I have taken a cocktail of meds tho including ads and I shall set an alarm on my phone. I like that idea.

Right now...in view of every thing I think I am justified at being at level -1 (in bed in my pjs).

The only thing I must do today is make an appointment to see tge head. ..

Oh and helles was it you that recommended a phone app to keep a mood diary. If so can you remind me what it was please?

Not me, I'm afraid - I recommended keep a mood diary and someone else mentioned an app they had come across...

No wonder you can't sleep and are having freaky-weird dreams - it sounds like you're quite ill. Make yourself a sofa bed so you can keep an eye on the girls, make yourself a large flask of warm (sugar-free) ribena and get some rest. Hope you feel better soon x

That sounds nasty Ed I hope it's just a 24 hour bug.

Hmmm school is looking after the girls. Bed is looking after me :o

I'm having a low day, ah well :(

Sorry to hear that, snowy. It is a beautiful sunny day here, though cold, and I need to get out in the garden and cut back the dead foliage. I've done some useful stuff - maintenance paperwork - this morning.

level 3, although tbh my level 3 is rather scruffy

ditto level 3 and somewhat overwhelmed by all I need to do. I have a bed frame to pack away as it was delivered with a mark and needs exchanging. I have 3 bookcases to build. and the everpresent housework. plus I'd like to see some friends this week, catch up on cub paperwork and work on the research for my dissertation. instead, I'm sitting eating a cheese roll...

HB could you live with the mark?

Minimal housework - maintain hygiene and that's it.

Build the bookcases (am v v impressed, I am hopeless at that sort of thing).

I guess Cub paperwork is maintenance paperwork - the kind that hangs over you but doesn't actually take long. So give that a 5 min go.

Allocate some blocks of 1/2 hour for research?

Well done on the paperwork silvery Good luck with the gardening. HB you could schdule in some 5-15 minute slots of enjoyable activity mixed with your tasks.

HM on the rampage big style and I feel utterly shite, flat,miserable and unmtivated. It has a new trick now - I wake up feeling OK and then after about 30 mins he starts his antics. Have had long loud cry and sometimes that makes me feel better but not today. It's worse cus the sun is shining. I am sooooo sick of this bloody depression.

Sorry Ed and SM as you are both struggling, but I can't really empathise with anyone today.

I'm so sorry NanaNina I hope everything picks up for you.

I hope my groceries come soon, delivery between 5-6. And yes, that is going to be today's high point.

it's a good high point snowy - there aren't many chores that you can pass on and still know it will get done.

1 bookcase up and full and loads of books to chuck :)

I tried cleaning off the mark - it's a grey line bang slap in the middle of a white headboard. I've tried cleaning it off but no joy am getting messed about by Argos. there is a huge plain red sticker on the packaging the headboard was in. tbh, I suspect that means someone had delegated it to seconds but it still got sent to me

I have had a couple of cuppa breaks and have emailed a friend and listened to some music as well as building stiff. I'll do one more bookcase tonight and leave filling it and doing the other one til morning now.

hope all who are having deep-depths days fond some peace x

That all sounds industrious, HB I feel as if I can't do anything right at the moment, hope it'll pass.

I feel that way every day snowy - is one of your parents a perfectionist too?

I think it's the depression, I haven't lived with my parents since the 90s.

I think my anxiety was partly caused my mum's perfectionism when I was a child and depression is my cave when the anxiety levels get too high. I never got anything right as a child. she still calls me lazy, selfish, a bad mother, etc. but only to my face...

well weirdly im having a rubbishy day today too - slept heavily but exhausted on waking. if forgot my meds yesterday for the first time ever....

builders knocked me out of bed

i walked dog and went to stables where i had a fairly miserable time and felt actually really weepy.
came home early and had my hospital appointment for the hernia - got to start another load of meds now and go back in 3 months....only then will they look at surgery.

and im meant to be back at stables tomorrow and todays experience made me feel upset and weepy and useless and i dont need to feel that - im not even being paid - its all voluntary - ive worked 4 full days this week there - for nothing - i expected a bit of tuition but im being used as a lackey this week and that became patently obvious today.

so i dont want to go tomorrow and yet i have said i would so feel i must, even though im going to fret and feel upset and anxious.

i just really need a day off. Builders are finishing off in morning, i need to go and collect DD from a sleepover early, then off to stables.

thursday i need to be up early again to take dd to a revision day (her school is 8 miles away) but i may go back to bed.
house is a tip, became to hard to keep tidy and clean while garden was being done.

garden looks fab. house looks shit. i feel shit.

sorry that everyone else feels a bit rubbish too, im going to download the gameshow pointless to watch and have a wine. (and a whine)

feeling flat and fed up. it was a lovely sunny day here today too, i was out in the fresh air and i should be feeling better than this.

I would offer a group hug but don't want ro make you all ill...

A virtual group hug is virus free, thanks for the idea ER