Hold my hand

[Ameybee]

Been feeling very low for couple of weeks & had previous PND, can feel it coming again :(. At family Xmas do trying to put a brave face on & hold it together but really struggling. Sat upstairs crying. Feel like I've failed everyone again & failed as a mum. Don't want to ruin Xmas for my DH DD and DS x

Sorry you feel like this :( depression/PND is awful.

You have not failed though. It is ok to be sad. There is something about Xmas though, that can amplify any bad feelings - all the merriment just contrasts so starkly with how you feel inside :( it is easy to put pressure on yourself to keep a brave face on at this time of year, I have done this myself.

You haven't let anyone down. Your family will be fine. Honestly xx

Hand hold coming your way. I second everything fuzzpig has said. I'm sure others will be on to help as well. What's getting me through is to pretend I am actress on a stage playing the part of 'well me'. I also chant something I read on here: feelings are not facts. It's helps me to remember that things can and will change. Sending you ums mumsnetty hugs

Thank you x had to admit to them how I was feeling as I can't go downstairs yet. SIL was very understanding as has been through it herself too.
Its the snowball feeling I hate, thinking things will never get better. X

Brilliant, now you can have some RL support and hugs. But we mumsnetters are always here as well, what ever the season.