I don't want to be here any more.

[spingey]

I just can't carry on any more.

In short we can't live in our flat any more due to my anti social neighbours. We have been living at my mums for nearly 3 months in a tiny room all sharing the same bed. Everyday I have to drop the kids at school which is literally next door to my old flat and 5 miles across a busy city. Im not sleeping properly. I either dont eat at all or binge on everything in sight. Im exhausted. My brain cant take any more.

Today housing benefit contacted me and told me that because we are not living at our flat and have no intention of returning they will not pay anything towards my rent. I work 16 hours a week so am entitled to help with my rent. I now have massive arrears on my account and they told me I have to pay it. I cant afford the monthly repayments as it is. I cant even give notice on the flat because I would be making myself homeless intentionally and they wouldn't rehouse us then.

No one wants to know. everyone bucks the blame and I just end up chasing people around in circles.

I hate it. I hate myself for being bullied out of my own home and Im sick of the daily shit that fills my life. Sorry if Im feeling sorry for myself but I thought I was making headway with things and that has knocked me right back.

we are apparently top priority to be re housed but nothing is happening.

Everyone would struggle to cope with what you are going through.

I personally dont know the answers to your practical problems.
And I certainly dont want to pass the buck. But I would suggest you repost this in say, chat, where you would hopefully get lots of responses, quite quickly.

Are you springydaffs btw, or am I thinking of a different poster?

Hi Spingey
I don't have any answers but I wanted to reply to your post because you sound so down and you're posting in mental health. I don't know if you mean you don't want to be in your mum's house/your situation or if you mean you're feeling suicidal.
Are you getting any practical help? Have you contacted Citizens Advice or Shelter? Or maybe Samaritans?

I really hope you get the help you need. It sounds like you're in a really shit situation and you're working really hard to keep you and your kids afloat.

Look after yourself x

very sorry for your situation :(
the children's father don't help?

typed out a massively long reply to this and my mum changed the web page.

Im feeling better this evening. The kids have lifted my mood and we have had a nice relaxed day as a family.

I had a long chat with my mum and I have come to the conclusion that my only option is to return to my flat. I can not afford the rent let alone the arrears that have built up whist waiting for my hb claim to to be processed.

I talked to the kids and explained it as far as a 4 year old and 5 year old can understand and they seem to be ok with it. I guess only time will tell. Im going to go back to my gp and explain the developments and see if he can help in any way and just keep him up to date with things. I am on propranolol at the moment for my anxiety and Im sure the dosage of this will need to be increased once we return home.
For now whilst I feel nervous I feel a little bit better that I have come to a solution and hopefully the rent arrears will be sorted too.

Thanks for the replies that you gave me earlier in the week. I had worked myself up into a right state that day and I really felt like I couldn't make it through the rest of the day.

Glad you're feeling a bit better Spingey. Sometimes just making a decision (even if it's not a perfect solution) makes you feel a lot better and more in control.

Good luck with the move back to your flat.