Alcoholic abusive mother, help?

[rubyblue]

Have posted on this before but really hoping someone can recommend a book or website which would help me and my sibling cope with our dysfunctional parents. Mum is alcoholic and violent to dad, controlling, depressed, angry, abusive...just awful. It's been like this for thirty years and we now have our own (both happy thank god) families. But it still affects us. Have been to counselling which was really helpful but don't have time at the moment. Would love to find a book or some info on how to break free mentally from their dysfunction.

There is a thread is the relationships area with Stately Homes in the title. They will be able to help you I think, people with dysfunctional families swap expertise there I believe.

Interested to know . . .

John Bradshaw writes some interesting books: homecoming, healing the shame that binds you, the family. He talks about alcoholism and dysfunctional family systems.

Melodie Beattie writes good books on codependency and essentially taking the focus off dysfunctional people and looking after yourself emotionally and living a happier life.

Both Al Anon (as adult children of alcoholics) and CoDA (wanting healthy relationships and to move on from the trauma of dysfunctional upbringing/relationships) could be good starts. They are meetings, but both groups also publish literature you could buy, have websites, phone numbers and online forums. Personally I prefer CoDA hugely.

Another thing is mindfulness - learning to live in the moment not the past or future, could be helpful. Lots of books and courses on that, e.g. Eckhart Tolle, Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Thanks so much for your replies, really appreciate these suggestions. Sorry it took me so long to respond too. Rubyblue