Acute Anxiety over operation tomorrow...tips for coping.

[sunshineandshowers]

I literally am convinced I am going to die. It is all I am thinking about. This will be the last time I take DS to School, this will be the last lunch with DD. I am tearful and detached. PLease help.

BTW the surgery is for my back. I have an infection in my back in some metal and it all has to come out. The operation is about 1 - 1.5 hours. I have had 4 GA before. Please help me x

I'm so sorry to hear you feel like this. I'm not by any means an expert and am not sure to what extent I will be able to help, but I'm thinking of you and wish you well.

Feeling anxious is understandable but won't help you or your children; they will certainly pick up on your worry and be anxious themselves in turn. So you need to try and get to grips with your fear - as I'm sure you've already resolved.

How to do that? Not sure - except to focus on the fact that it is irrational. There is nothing real or tangible which is causing your anxiety. And the anxiety isn't making something going badly less likely. So:

a) chances are, you're wrong. And you're making yourself and your children feel bad - and losing a day - for nothing;

b) even if something awful were to happen (and there's absolutely nothing in your thread to suggest that there is reason to believe it will), worrying about it won't stop it.

In short - try and enjoy today. Don't think about tomorrow - think of things you can do today to make it lovely. And, when the op is over and all is well, please post and let us know you're fine.

When it threatens to overwhelm, count backwards from 300 to 1. If you can't do this I'd advise getting a couple of tranquillisers to get you through til tmrw when it's over. Fine for short term use.

Thanks all. I think I have just worked out that it is anxiety iyswim. Yesterday I just thought I was on a predestined path to death and there was nothing I could do. Just by recognising that it is anxiety has made me feel a bit better.

Baconandegg I liked your paragraph "How to do that? Not sure - except to focus on the fact that it is irrational. There is nothing real or tangible which is causing your anxiety. And the anxiety isn't making something going badly less likely. "

PeachyPip I will try going from 300 to 1. I think its too late to get tranquilisers now. And never having taken them before something new seems too scary.

The kids are picking up on it I think. DD was up all night with ear infection. DS has had odd tummy ache symptoms all week. But he did have something serious in MArch, so it could be related to that. I thought maybe I am making them, to try to distract me from my own worries. Oh Gawd.

Thanks for responding x

Hi sunshineandshowers. I totally empathise with how you are feeling - I went through those exact same feelings almost exactly a year ago. I had an operation to remove a (what we later learned was a benign) lump from my abdomen and I was terrified. I'm not sure I am very good at coping mechanisms - I'm a bit of a panicker in general but I do understand!

I think all I can say is that you are in the hands of the experts and you just have to put your trust in them. Try and keep busy and don't let yourself think negative or pessimistic thoughts (easier said than done, I know!). I often have to give myself a stern talking to in order to control my anxiety. Try and think in rational terms and just expel any fear or panic from your mind. I sometimes try and imagine putting my negative thoughts in a cloud as I take a deep breath in, visualise it lifting up out of my head (at the top of my inhalation) and then watch it floating away as I exhale. Sounds a bit hippy, I know! If nothing else the slow, deep breaths serve well to ease the anxiety.

Thanks surreymummy. Its good to know I am not alone. I did try giving myself a good talking to this morning. I went for a drive and was crying and I just thought "come on get a grip".

The terrifying thing is the feeling is SO real. It's like it s really happening. It is reassuring reading some of the other threads on MH on anxiety, as that is a theme that comes up again and again. How your reality is so powerful, even though you know it isn't.

I am also a great believer in the power of the subconcious mind, so I have become more panicy thinking I am thinking about death so much my subconcious mind might think I want to die. Argghh.

Operation went really well. I was fine in the morning, but v nervous just before anaesthetic. I told the theatre nurse and she was lovely and held my hand. Then what felt like 2 minuutes later I woke in recovery.

Thanks for all your help everyone. Youre fab !

That's great news! So glad you overcame it. X

Yippee! Well done!