Need my hand holding (again) please

[Mynxie]

I have been taking 50g of Sertraline for 5 weeks now and thought I was beginning to feel better. The past few days I have gone back to square one it seems - feel really low, sleeping badly and very anxious and worried. Is it normal to have a few setbacks on the road to recovery do you think?
In addition, I have a 20yr old ds at home who is really struggling at the moment - he feels worthless as the only job he can get is pt waitering, plus his long term girfriend has dumped him. Its as if there is a huge black cloud over my house at the moment

Really sorry to hear you are feeling bad. I suspect it is normal enough to have bad days - anti depressants aren't a magic cure all and I think the worries over your ds will be adding to your woes. Try and keep positive - get out and get some exercise + at least 20 mins daylight a day to keep your seratonin levels up. Keep taking the Sertraline and perhaps keep a diary to monitor your feelings. If you don't pick up in a week or so I would make another appt with doctor to discuss your worries. Can you plan activities to do with ds to keep you both focussed on a short term goal?

Sorry you are feeling so bad. I was low two years ago, and there were slight setbacks. I found counselling along with meds really helped, can you go and see your GP? Perhaps your head isn't able to cope with the addition of your sons problems as well as your own at the moment, but you can't be selfish as you are (rightly) worried about him. Hope things get better xx

Thanks for your speedy reply sowornout . I really am trying hard and I know that the problems I have are nothing compared to what some people are going through, but I feel overwhelmed at the moment and unable to pull myself together. I am planning to try and get ds to come for a walk with me later. He has been at Uni for 2 yrs and now hes back his friends here (small town) have moved on and his Uni ones are all far from here. I plan to have a look and see if there are any voluntary jobs that will fit in with his working hours - he needs to get out more I think.

I am having counselling at the moment in conjunction with the ADs - my biggest problem is that I seem utterly unable to cut the apron strings, and worry FAR too much about ds. I was a single mum for 12 years with him (now happily remarried) and cannot stop myself from trying to 'make' him happy - which of course I cannot do. I dont want to feel like this - I have (2 much) older children and dont have the same problem with them - Im sad when they have their setbacks of course, but not to the extent that I cannot live my own life as I should be. With ds, I am only happy when he is, and when he's not I feel it worse than if it were me if you see what I mean.

You don't have to pull yourself together. It's ok to feel overwhelmed with life. Please don't be too hard on yourself, and it doesn't matter if other people have worse problems. What is important is that you are feeling life is a struggle. Set yourself very, very small targets and ignore everything else. Even if you can go to bed at night and say, 'well ok, today was not a good day, but I went for a walk and admired people's front gardens'....that's enough. When I'm feeling overwhelmed (mostly with untidy house) I grab a bin liner and spend 15 mins shoving stuff in it to take to charity shop. That's all. 15 mins and you feel 'well - I got rid of some clutter and someone else will be grateful for it'. Voluntary work is a good idea for your ds. How about looking to see if he can volunteer abroad? Change of scene and all that. New start. Try googling VSO (Voluntary Services Overseas) their VSO ICS scheme gives 18-25 yo the opportunity to volunteer to work overseas for 3 months. It could be a good way (now that he is single) of kickstarting his new life.

Just had a look at the VSO website - it looks amazing. I have sent him the link and he says he'll have a look at it, just hope he can find something there to inspire him. My concern is that he is so under motivated at the moment that it will take a lot to budge him, though I will try my best of course. Thank you both for your advice, it really is very helpful.

Such good advice sowornout. I did one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time at the worst points, then one week at a time. It was also important to me (and still is) to have something to look forward too, like a day out or tickets for something, then I had a target to get to iykwim. X

Agree with lovewearingjeans that having something to look forward to is an important thing. Don't know what your finances are like, but is it possible to book a facial or even just a wash and blow dry somewhere for a bit of 'me' time and luxury? Local colleges often have really cheap offers if you let their students practise on you!

please be aware that 50mgs of sertraline is actually a small dose, there is a possibility that the dose may need increasing.

The doctor did suggest increasing my dose last time I saw him, but I thought I would be okay carrying on as I am. Maybe you're right and I should see him again if things don't get better by next week. It's disheartening when you think you are getting better, and then have such a setback. I think I'm also afraid that increasing the dose will also increase the side-effects. Is this what happens?

I ended up having to go to the max with mine, even though I thought I was doing well. I think I started working to gradual 20mg of Citalopram, increasing to 30mg, then 40 mg which I stayed on for about 18 myths have come down gradually to 20mg over the past 6 myths. I will be here for a while yet. The only increased side effects I have noticed was the involved dreams, became more vivid etc. it's hard at times to know what are the side effects, and what is the depression, or it was for me x