Seeing things

[raininginbaltimore]

I'm bipolar, just had dc2, 6 weeks ago. Am back on lithium. She is a poor sleeper (even by newborn standards) and I also have ds who is 3.

I am exhausted. Last few nights (when I have up until 4am with her) I have seen people in our house, like ghosts. There are in corner of rooms, in my peripheral vision sonetimes. They don't talk. I know they are hallucinations. During night I get anxious about evil spirits and ghosts causing dd's crying.

I realise this sounds mental, have told psych and someone is coming to see me tomorrow.

Dh is worried. But I think it isn't so bad as long as I know they are just visions?

Anyone have any experience of this?

Yes, but with severe depression, rather than bi-polar. I was in hospital a couple of years ago with a major depressive episode and I used to think I could see beetles crawling up the wall by my bed and ran out of the room screaming. I wouldn't believe they weren't there. I remember a nurse saying to me "when I am pacing the floor at 3 am with my LO I see all sorts of things"

You have so much on your plate, with a newborn and a 3 yr old in addition to your illness. I would be pretty certain that these things you "see" are the result of sheer exhaustion and worry with a new baby. I'm glad someone is coming to see you (possibly a CPN/MH sw or whoever) and I hope you will be abe to accept that you aren't really "seeing" things, though those bloody beetles were real for me.

I'm not bi-polar but I have experinced seeing crawling insects (ants & spiders) in my peripheral vision. This usually happened when like yourself I was utterly exhausted. Once I (a) realised I was hallucinating and (b) knew why I was hallucinating I wasn't overly worried about them but instead took it as a sign that I should get more rest (easy to say!). Is your dh worried about you hallucinating? Or is his worry in relation to your anxiety about the ghosts/spirits making dd cry? Tbh I'd be worried about the latter. I'm guessing this is something you've not experienced before and imagine this is why someone is coming out to see you. My insects didn't distress me but if I had a phobia of spiders etc I may have felt differently.

I hope you got the advice and help you were looking for. The mind can play strange tricks on you. Little ones are so exausting mine are 3 years apart too.

I was seeing scary soldier faces in my wallpaper last week. It freaked me out. But I could rationalise it was just my mind.

Good luck with everything and I hope you feel a bit better soon.

CPN came today. Asked me about it. I can infer from her questions that they aren't too worried as long as I know they aren't real.

If I actually start thinking there are people in the house, then they are worried. They have upped my mood stabiliser and added and anti depressant

I have BPD and have this quite often, its horrible, you have my sympathies.

As long as you can continue to rationalise it, then try not to worry too much. If you ever get to the point where you're not sure, then its time to ask for extra support.

How often are you seeing your CPN?

She is coming again on Monday. They offered over weekend, but Dh is here and I can always call.

Sounds like you are getting good support if CPN offered to come in over weekend, and I'm sure you're right, they won't be concerned so long as they know that you think these things are not real. Clearly they must be certain that you are not out of touch with reality, as this would mean I imagine a change in meds.

Glad you are getting good support. Are you in Baltimore by the way!

Sounds positive . Hope upped meds work.