Ok, right I'm going to pieces, I called my Gp, he called the Crisis team.

[colditz]

I don't know what or who they are. can anyone tell me?

i have been getting worse and worse for weeks. This morning was the crunch. I have done nothing but cry and shout all morning, I made dp tell ds i have a headache, and went upstairs where I cried for 1 hour, and I don't know why. So I rang my midwife, who told me call my gp.

I am so scared this is going to turn into full blown pnd. I feel a bit like I have it already. I can't sleep at night, I can't get up in the morning - luckily dp is on A/L this week - I don't want to talk to anyone. I am getting screamy and hysterical, and would not be surprised if dp leaves me, i must be f*ckin hideous to live with.

I don't know what to do to stop this now. I am 36 weeks pregnant, I need to be ok before I bring the baby home, I am terrified of pnd again, but I am so scared of taking ads now, it can't be good for the baby, can it?

colditz, I had terrible depression after having ds and have been on Zoloft ever since. We are currently ttc and I have been assured by my doctor that it will be fine to continue taking it throughout my pregnancy. I also was on it when bfing.

I'm another one who has been on Prozac since about week 20 of p/g after going through a similar time to you.
L/O is 10 weeks old now & I'm b/f still whilst taking the ADs.
Despite worrying at the time, I'm so glad I got help and started the ADs, feel like a different person now and no negative influence on him at all.

dont know what advice to give apart from that i've beent ehre done that so if you want to talk or write cathartic e-mails please feel free colditz creamycustardoathotmaildotcom

colditz, I have nothing useful to add, but couldn't leave this thread without saying that I am thinking of you. I am so, so pleased that you are seeking help, it's the best thing you could have done. (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

Crisis team came at 4:30 - left at 5:50! They just sat and talked to me for ages, they had come to see if I needed to go to hospital and if I was endangering my family

But they told me when they left that they weren't too concerned about that.

They are writing a letter to my gp, telling him to put me on such and such drug, and for me to see a counciller a lot quicker than if they hadn't got involved. I am seeing the gp on monday.

thank you all for your nice messages. I feel like such a woos. I feel 20 times better now than I did this morning, but it is the same every day, I feel murderous in the morning, and back to reasonable by teatime.

Al;l the messages from you lovely ladies who have had anti depressants in pregnancy are very reassuring, the nice man told me they won't prescribe one that is unsuitable anyway.

Colditz- -that sounds like a very positive outcome. Well done for getting help when you needed it. I hope that the knowledge that further help is on the way will get you through the w/e.

glad that crisis team seem to be getting things moving re:treatment. remember that you are way past the riskiest time (first trimester) for any drugs in PG.

colditz this happened to my dh last year,
you can cat me if you like or msn is [email protected]
hope you are feeling better
xxx

Colditz, when I had PND, my spirits also lifted somewhat in the evening. GP told me this sort of daily seesawing is quite common.
All the best. With luck you will nip it in the bud.

Colditz, that sounds really helpful, well done. You're NOT A wuss, honestly you're not. We're all behind you.

Hi colditz, I just want to say, please don't feel guilty, this isn't your fault it's an illness, plain and simple. If posting on mn for hours helps then do it.

Families need their mums and so you need to look after yourself first. No guilt.

Glad the visit by the Crisis Team has had a positive outcome in that they can get things moving forwards for you.
Don't blame yourself, its an illness -you are NOT a wuss!

Aw colditz, I didn't realise things were so bad.
But getting better with help, let's hope.
You did absolutely the right thing(s) today.
xxP

Colditz - I know that feeling.... You are NOT a fraud!!!!!

i ofcially pronounce you "No wuss"
well done

Colditz I don't know if you've seen my current thread re me & dp but this is the second thread I've read of yours that has made me think 'God, that's me!' - The first time I thought that was the thread about your temper.
I'm the same week in pregnancy as you and am having the same feelings. Literally. I cant sleep, I can't be bothered to get up, I haven't got the energy or motivation to move or do anything. DP is fed up with it, the kids are getting more and more stroppy in reaction etc etc etc. The baby isn't even here yet and I feel like I'm in full blown pnd. I don't want to talk to anyone, I just want to go to bed and stay there by myself. All day. I can also sit here on MN and 'talk' which is pissing dp off no end, but in RL I'm snappy, tempremental and an emotional wreck and hating myself for it! I'm so glad to see you feel reassured after talking to the crisis team - good on you for doing that, hopefully it's the start of getting you back on track and having a brill time when the little one comes along :)

Cloditz - goodness what a horrible time you are having:(

So glad you got some help today - I hope it sets you up for getting things sorted out and getting the help you need!

I really, really hope things turn around for you soon:)

Sorry it's so tough, colditz. It sounds truly grim.:( You did brilliantly to seek help and I'm glad the CRT were good. Have they taken you on as a client or are you back to tratment under the GP now?

Colditz,I have a friend who suffers antenatal pnd terribly.She's on her third pregnancy now and has been taking omega 3 supplements and is finding it really helpful.I think the theory is that the baby is taking all your supplies of omega oils,resulting in a depletion inyours and in some people that results in depression.

I know this may not be relevant to you but you might be intersted in googling it as an off chance.

Hope I haven't overstepped the mark here,but you sound like you're really suffering at the mo.

Hope you find some help soon

Just seen this. Sorry you have been feeling so awful Colditz. Glad that the Crisis Team came & helped you. Really hope you get your counselling soon and that the ADs or whatever they prescribe will help.
Hugs seem to be very out of MN fashion - but I'm going to offer one anyway. Big hug.

see, I feel ok now, not great but ok.

You're all being so great. It is sadly comforting to hear everyone's stories about their own experiences of Pre-ND, especially that it doesn't ^always lead to PND.

I feel like a fraud now, because I cannot quite believe how bad I felt this morning, but I must have felt dreadful for me to go and hide upstairs, screaming hysterically, then phone the midwife team in floods.

How does this happen? How does my mood lift like this? Because tomorrow morning, like every morning this week, I will be totally dysfunctional. I am being vile to my partner, and I need to stop it, he doesn't deserve the way I treat him when all he is trying to do is help. He doesn't know how to help me, how can he? I don't either.

Zephyrcat, I missed your thread, but I remember you posting on my December temper thread. I do wonder if my temper is a reaction to depression or is it hormonal? It would explain why we both only feel this bad when pregnant. The crisis people seemed to think it is an anxiety reaction, but I do wonder.

Hang on in there.

tomorrow morning, if you feel bad again, just take it easy. If that means staying in bed with a book, posting on mn, whatever, do it. Dp can take the strain with the kids-- you are, after all, looking after the next one, which is exactly why you feel the way you do.

It'll pass. Just remember that.

colditz, only just seen this. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time of it. Pre-PND I have no experience of (PND, I could write you a book...) but one thing I know holds true for both: it's not your fault.

You are astonishingly brave for seeking help - that is such a hard thing to do. Just..be kind to yourself. As Orlando says, let dp take the strain - if you can't cope, don't. It will get better.

Take care, hon.

marthamoo x

Colditz, I'm glad you're feeling better. Hormones do weird things to your psyche IMO. When I get into mad hormonal states, having a massage really helps, if you can get one. And surround yourself with people who will be kind to you [like us!!]

the cod has spoken - no wuss here x