PND Stigma

[Tryn2hrd]

Just wanted to know if anyone finds PND realy difficult to admit to themselves and family. I have only been diagnosed for 2 mths and just told some family which didnt go as well as i hoped. Do you find that people react badly to you when they know you have this? I find myself having to explain its not about the baby because i'm lucky that I bonded its just everything else that makes me upset (including everyone else) I have isolated myself and its taken so much to try and tell people that I have this but noone has offered any help or rang to ask how i'm doing. They make you feel as if you are catching and that you are a bad mum. Does anyone have any tips on how to tell people what i'm going through without actually telling them IYKWM Its so hard to ask for help and its what i really need sometimes. sorry I'm a bit low today just tryn to come to grips with this all and figure out what the hell is going on.

Omega 3s help me, too. I also take a Vit B supplement and iron sachet - I don't eat much meat.

I started taking B12 supplements recently too, and I do feel like I have more energy.

do you tink it might helpme then if i started b12 vits? some days i2wanted to die and felt ashamed for even thinking it. i used to leave dd with dp and go into bedroom and just cry, sometimes i just used to look at her and think she would be better off without me and my problems, i got fed up of her seeing me crying all the time i not feeling too badly today tho. how is everyone else feeling? ((hugs))

Are you on AD's already? When I was really in a bad way, suicidal and all the rest, the AD's were the only thing to pull me out of the deep, deep part. The omega 3's and B12's just make me feel even better, a little more energy, etc. But I don't think they are good used as a substitute.

i'm not entirely sure about ad's for me personally. i feel even more down about having to take them, goign to try to remember to take the sjw - it might actually work then!
thanks tho jw x

I was really, really reluctant to take them at first too. Then a friend said to me, "We're all just a big bunch of chemicals anyway, you're just adding some to the soup!"

I was diagnosed pnd when ds was 2 weeks, was on ad for 3 months then felt nearly human again so came off them. Within 2 months I am now back where I started. Dr said I came off ad far too early so now have to start the process all over again. The point being ad really worked for me but I didn't want to stay on them forever but I should have done. Don't know if thats a good thing because they work for me, or a bad thing because I've now got to be on them now for at least another 6 months.

thanx it's summat to think about

I've heard iron supplements help too but haven't tried it yet myself.

can you only take then when you're anaemic though? have you heard this tho? the iron requirement is higher in men than in women, when it's women who have periods?!

i find iron supplements help. BUT i am about 80% vegetarian.

does anyone else have obsessional feelings about hygiene i.e., washing my hands constantly, putting everythings of ds in the washing machine if it touches the floor etc as well as the depression? I was never like this before I was pregnant now i'm obsessed, I'm dreading the day he starts crawling and putting his hands in his mouth from the floor. Is this normal?

hi jmum6, it can be like that but would it help you feel better about it if you can have quiet word with your hv? hth (((hugs)))

hi jmum6, it can be like that but would it help you feel better about it if you can have quiet word with your hv? hth (((hugs)))

Hi fransmom did speak to hv and midwife when ds was born as it started during my 3rd trimester. Not much help just said things like 'just do normal handwashing' and how important it is to sterilise everything. Did go to drs last week to talk about it and she was obviously in a rush as I was in and out in 2 mins with prescription for ad without her even asking how I felt or bringing the hand washing thing up. I said I was feelong low again and she said you want to go back on the ad I said yes and bingo that was it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jmum6 - I was like that with handwashing when I was PG (I have a history of OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder), so ended up on Prozac at 30 weeks PG (which really really helped). SSRI ADs like Prozac are used for treating OCD, as well as depression/PND, but you would often (but not absolutely always) need to be taking a higher dose to treat OCD than for depression.I am not saying btw that I think you do or don't have OCD btw, just that the symptoms sound very similar to what I had with OCD. You would need to have a proper discussion with your GP to diagnose whether it's PND or OCD (PND can often involve a lot of obsessive thoughts/fear for your baby).

This type of obssessive behaviour is caused by anxiety, so lifestyle changes that reduce anxiety will help - avoiding coke/caffeine, eating and sleeping as well and regularly as you can should help a little.

You might find useful information on the nopanic website:-www.nopanic.org to help deal with the handwashing

TearsBeforeBedtime yes all the obsessiveness is centered on the baby - like if i'm preparing his food I wash my hands everytime I touch something which isn't his food - like the worktop or drawers or anything. And I have to rewash any of his clothes which fall on the floor, or his spoons if the round bit touches anything at all other than his mouth and the actual food. Scared I will hurt the baby by not being clean enough. But I don't bother when I'm cooking for me and dp or when ds is in bed. Dp thinks I'm going mas and is fast losing patience with me. I'm on citaliopram ad at the moment. Do you think it's worth going back to dr to change it for something else to treat that and the depression?

citalopram is an SSRI so should work for OCD as well as depression, but I think you ought to go back to the GPs, book a double appointment if you can so you don't run out of time, and explain as you put it here about how the handwashing is affecting your life. how old is your baby btw? presumably if eating at least 4 months, so not absolutely tiny, so really don't need to be so ultra careful. you know yourself, deep down, that other parents don't need to rewash clothes that go on the floor, etc etc and take all these precautions that you are taking. at the moment you need to take your model for standards on how other people behave, rather than on your own fears. Also bear in mind that your DH would never willingly put your baby at risk - that if he isn't carrying out all the handwashing/sterilisation you require, then that is because he is assessing the situation more accurately than you.

btw re:the food prep - my HV (who knew about my issues)advised me that I should only wash my hands if I was cleaning a spillage up off the floor/changing a nappy in the middle of bottle preparation, that merely touching something else shouldn't necessitate a handwash.

I know this but it doesn't stop me from doing it. I do try but then get in a right state and end up washing my hands even more. Ds is 6 and a half months old and is beginning to make shuffling movements. At the mo I put him on a large blanket on the floor which I wash regularly so he isn't touching the floor but am dreading the day he will be able to touch floor whilst crawling and then put his hands in his mouth - brings me out in a cold sweat just thinking about it. I take some of that antibac gel wherever I go and antibac wipes to wipe everything down. At babyclub (who know nothing about this) I don't let him touch any of the other babies toys - do you htink thats a safe precaution? I'm on 20mg of citalopram do you think thats enough?

the blanket on the floor thing is I think quite usual. I think taking the antibac wipes/gel around with you is OTT, and not letting him play with the other babies' toys is also OTT (unless of the other babies was visibly unwell/sneezing over everything!)Again be guided by what you see other mums doing.

re:the dose. only way to find out if 20 mg is enough to try it and see if it works. Even if the plan was for you to take a higher dose, they would usually start you on a low dose for a bit anyway, and wait till your body gets used to it before increasing the dose.

it is unfortunately quite usual for people to feel more and more anxious when trying to resist the urge to handwash. The idea behind behaviour therapy (posh term for getting you not to wash your hands as often!) is that you use the anxiety to fight the anxiety; i.e. that you'll have a temporary increase in anxiety whilst you battle the urge, but that once you have come through that, you will ultimately feel less anxiety.

Once you are in a better place mentally (say once the ADs have kicked in()you will be able to resist that urge for longer/in more and more situations, and things will improve.

try and see your HV again, explain how you are feeling, hopefully it will not be the same one you saw just after the birth.

Thanks TearsBeforeBedtime nice to talk to someone about it. Will go and make dr appt now. How come you know so much about it?

Hi

Josh thx everyone for your views. Its so isolating feeling rotten and it really helps coming on here knowing that your not alone (not that its a good thing we all have this)

I havent been on for ages as I've been really low, went to the docs yesterday but my doc wasnt there and got the most horrendous doc who kept asking why am I sad what makes me depressed hmmmmmmm if I knew that I would be able to do something about it dont you think He went on to tell me that the way I feel is all my fault because i dabbled in drugs as a teenager (dabbled as in for only a few months and nothing heavy) I have been feeling really sick and he refused to change me from fluoxetine and then proceeded to turn the video recorder off as he had been recording and I never noticed
This set me off on one even though I had a weepy day as it was. Anyhoo managed to get to see own doc today who is wonderful and agreed that these ads arent working so going to try citalopram. DP had already phoned and explained the situation so doc wasnt impressed with the first guy and tried to reassure me but I think it has set me back again.
I'm quite interested to see if they do help with OCD as its something I battle with but I seem to get over one thing then find something new to obsess about!!!
Still having funny reactions from people managed to tell parents but its not been mentioned - totally understand jabberwocky its driving me crazy, its as if people are scared you are going to break down infront of them, yeah so what if I do - their family/friends s#@t happens. Noone asks how I'm coping, if I want a chat, hug a break. I know I would say no and soldier on inspite of wanting to shout yes from the roof tops but just the acknowledgment that they care would be nice. I dont want to start avoiding people again!!!!! Does anyone know how to broach the subject as all ive said is I have PND but i'm on tablets and go to a group and thats it over and done with. I would love to get them to see that its not so scary (ha ha ha for them) Anyhoo big to everyone and hope we all get through another day.

So sorry that you've had such a bad time of it. I guess the thing that is so upsetting about sharing it with people is that you should be able to just say it, just as you would say "I broke my leg last week" or something like that. But society gives us the impression that it's not OK to talk about it simply because it makes other people feel awkward. My take on it is, well, if they hear about it more often, then maybe they wouldn't feel so awkward about it! FWIW I say, go ahead and talk about it anytime you want to and people will start to react better I think and not be so scared of it.

I guess I'm rambling a bit, hope some of that was helpful!

I tell all and sundry, jabber. I don't care anymore. Stereotypes for mental illness? Well, here's the gal you think is so put-together, who once almost threw herself off a bridge and was caught by a junior doctor trying to throw herself out a window.