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Mental health

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Original poster

Do you think I am right to be concerned?

16 replies

aconcernedfriend · 08/02/2006 14:41

A friend of mine has had an extremely hard time over the past few years and, I know, has tried very hard to turn things around. She has had yet more bad luck and I really do not know how much extra she can take. She keeps telling me that she is alright and that she knows things will be better soon but I do not think I believe her. She has been very depressed and not that long ago, she has also attempted suicide more than once. I suppose I have a gut feeling more than anything. What do you think?

OP posts:

Original poster

aconcernedfriend · 08/02/2006 14:46

I forgot to add that I live miles away from her now so we only talk on the phone. She does not have anyone near her to lean on.

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Original poster

aconcernedfriend · 08/02/2006 15:07

I had hoped somebody would post back quickly to reassure me, tell me how to help or what to do. I have sent her a text message but I have not had a reply yet. I need to get back to my work but I will keep looking and hoping for some words of wisdom.

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Beetroot · 08/02/2006 15:08

any more speiciif stuff you can tellus?

mummytosteven · 08/02/2006 18:18

I can see why you are concerned. I think that all you can do is keep the lines of communication open, encourage her to say how she is feeling if she is willing, and encourage her to see her GP, or if feeling truly suicidal, to go to A &E and ask to see a duty psychiatrist. The Samaritans website has some useful advice IIRC with their tips for people worried about friends/family members with depression.

mummytosteven · 08/02/2006 19:13

mummytosteven · 08/02/2006 21:12

bumping again in case anyone has anything to add.

expectingsummerihope · 08/02/2006 23:44

It sounds worrying to me. They say suicidal people often reach a high phase before they attempt suicide which often catches others off guard as they assume the person is getting better. Could you get in touch with her community mental health team and get someone to visit her? Does she have kids?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/02/2006 23:50

Is this a fellow mner we are talking about concerned....?

Original poster

aconcernedfriend · 09/02/2006 11:45

I do apologise for disappearing yesterday, my director returned unexpectedly and I felt I should not log on. I checked my phone again and realised I sent the message to her old number so no wonder she did not reply! I spoke to her this morning though which has added to my fears. She sounded like she had been crying but insisted it was a cold, I can not understand why she will not talk to me. I actually suspect she is a mumsnet mum as I discovered mumsnet on her computer when I babysat but that was a long time ago. I do not know details of her doctors but she must be seeing somebody as I know she takes anti-depressants regularly. What do you think I should do? I am limited as she does not live near me now and I am on holiday next week so can not speak to her then.

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Original poster

aconcernedfriend · 09/02/2006 12:14

I have just found the phone number for her children's school, do you think I could call them? and what do you think I should say to them? I know she may say to them that she is fine also but at least they see her everyday.

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Beetroot · 09/02/2006 12:25

Phone her chidlrens school? why woudl you do that?

NOt sure what else to say.

Original poster

aconcernedfriend · 09/02/2006 12:42

I would call them as I do not know anyone else to call and I am concerned about her. Perhaps I am over-reacting especially as she keeps telling me that she is alright. I just get this gut feeling that she does not want to tell me how things really are for her, like it's embarassing. She really has had an extremely hard time and I would never judge her for getting depressed again. What else would you suggest then?

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Beetroot · 09/02/2006 13:01

but you can't callthe kids school.

if you are worried goand see her.

Original poster

aconcernedfriend · 09/02/2006 13:09

I am going on holiday on Saturday and I work as well, I can not feasibly get there for some time. I wish she were nearby still, I could then keep an eye on her, she was great company too, the life and soul. This is one of the reasons why I am concerned, she is not herself again.

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batters · 09/02/2006 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

aconcernedfriend · 09/02/2006 14:34

I have just spoken to her again and I think I feel a little reassured. She admitted that she perhaps was not on top form but she was dealing with it. I asked her about meeting up at Easter and although she was very non-commital she was not opposed to it and said she would love to meet up, that is a good sign isn't it? I appreciate your replies, thank you. I do feel useless and I am a little upset over how unfair life is being to her but I still can not fully understand why she is being secretive with her feelings.

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