Support thread - adults on the Autistic Spectrum :)

[fuzzpig]

Hello!

I've seen a lot of MNers mention being on the Spectrum, whether diagnosed or not. I thought we could use a long-running place to chat, share coping strategies and basically to know there are other people like ourselves, who won't judge us for being different.

I'm new to all this myself - only realised there was a possible name for How I Am a couple of weeks ago (thanks to MN)! Now I have a referral to an adult ASD specialist, to see if I have Aspergers. It's all happened very quickly.

Enough waffle from me (for now anyway...) but I hope other people will come along and find this thread useful. :)

had a look at your thread Unmember, IIRC you have physical problems in addition to ASD which must make things even harder, sorry that the people who should be there to support you seem to be making things even harder! I guess that some things (Social Services being underfunded, and trying to suggest other family members be responsible even when it's ridiculous to do so) don't just happen in the UK! So the comment the woman made about Sweden is particularly ironic! But I agree with the other posters that the key issue is the Social Services woman was making a decision based on incorrect facts - that your partner and daughter could be helping with the housework, as if they weren't disabled.

Yes I have fibromyalgia too. The social worker kept asking about that and implying that this would be taken into account more than the autism. She didn't get that for me compared the limitations of autism, fibromyalgia is a walk in the park. As they say, it's an invisible disability. Some of the advice on that thread about what to say is very good, I'm glad I asked.

TUM I will look at your thread later (currently trying to get my arse out of bed for work)

I don't know about the label thing - TBH I think I'd rather have the label but it be understood better

The reason that I was annoyed by the book was, while I know ASD is not technically a MH issue, I have already (in the minuscule amount of time I've had to read up about Aspergers) read about several people who have ended up in psychiatric hospitals due to breakdown/self harm etc, and still nobody there has noticed the ASD traits because they are only interested in the immediate symptoms and don't bother looking for the real cause. Those people are badly let down and only later find out they have ASD, but until (and after) then they have to live with thinking they've totally failed by not getting better despite intensive hospital treatment.

I am obviously including myself in that bitter rant! Admittedly I had a more immediate reason for self harm - it was not long after I'd revealed the abuse - but I just think if one person had actually really listened to all the symptoms I was telling them - the social anxiety, the difficulties with noise/touch/light, the problems with personal space etc (even then I was quite clear it was these symptoms that caused the breakdown, not the abuse) - if one person had known anything about Aspergers and recognised what I was telling them, how different would the last ten years have been for me?

I must shut up now and get ready for work.

I suppose that sounds really weird that symptoms can cause an illness but in Aspergers/depression that is how it works I guess!

I'm really disappointed this evening. Finally got the book 'complete guide to Aspergers syndrome' (Attwood) - I've been waiting ages for it to arrive in the library. Settled down to look at it and I don't understand it. It's not accessible to me at all. It is one of those books where after a few sentences I just skim read, even though I am really trying to focus. It is really wordy and quite old fashioned in its layout. It makes me feel stupid because I can't understand it.

It doesn't help that I'm in a weird obsessy mood and HAD to skim through the entire book even though I am tired and didn't want to. Maybe that is because I had a bad day at work (it seems I made a mistake a few weeks ago and while the relevant senior colleague has been lovely about it, I still feel terrible and anxious, and I will do probably for several days before I get over it).

I hate my brain.

On a lighter note do any of you watch The Big Bang Theory? I am really getting into it. I love Sheldon :o

It's been a long hot tiring week, no wonder you are finding it hard to concentrate on something fairly heavy, like a book on ASD. I've only ever seen one episode of Big Bang Theory, I don't watch much telly. Did you see the Bridge at all, female detective character almost certain is portrayed as having AS?

I've never heard of the bridge, what's it about? (apart from, presumably, detectives)

I had avoided watching TBBT at first because I thought it was taking the piss out of geeks (and therefore me!) but when I read on MN that the main character is an Aspie - though I don't know if it's ever acknowledged directly - I decided to give it a go. At a difficult time where I'm struggling to come to terms with this whole thing, it is helping me see the funny side. Some of the things Sheldon says/does seem so normal to me, but I can see how funny they are, so it makes me laugh at myself - something I've never been able to do before.

Bazinga :o

I've watched Big Bang Theory since it started, when no one else seemed to have heard of it, but now its become quite popular. I like Leonard in it the best although I find the character of Amy to be the most like me. I've never seen Aspergers mentioned in any of the episodes. I have tried to teach my kids to play rock,paper,scissors,lizard,spock. Also did you know there are messages at the end after the credits for each episode?

Ooh, messages like what? I like the code in Futurama, it's everywhere in the backgrounds.

I've only seen TBBT recently on e4, so a new episode each week plus repeats from goodness knows what series. DH and I have agreed to buy a box set of it so we can watch it from the beginning.

So while we're on the subject of telly, what else does everyone like?

I love Futurama, family guy, american dad, friends, doctor who, torchwood, Fawlty towers, black books, spaced... Also we are brainwashing introducing the DCs to lots of retro stuff like TopCat (can't believe there's a new movie of that).

Right at the end the screen goes white. I press pause on Sky+ and you get a message from Chuck Lorre who I think writes the series. They are about the episode sometimes or just other random stuff.

I'm hoping to go see the new Top Cat movie next week!

ooh Top Cat movie! ooh messages on TBBT (have seen a few, but not a lot)! ooh messages on Futurama (DD and I love this, my fave is the one taking the piss out of Apple) - tell me more!

Have watched Dr Who from 1st episode (yes, am that old ) until it went a bit stupid - so not Peter Davison or Sylvester McCoy - but all the new ones :)

Am huge Buffy fan. Also, Clangers anyone?

In honour of starting this thread I hearby crown fuzzpig Queen of the Thread

Yay, clangers! I love the froglets (I think that is what they're called? The little orange hoppity things?). I love the fact that it was all scripted so their whistling actually means something.

In Futurama there is a code that is meant to be a Martian language. There is one in the opening credits, on a yellow tv screen. In many episodes, including the first, there are phrases on adverts, graffiti etc in the background. I guess you can get the alphabet online (it's also on the DVD extras) but we had a lot of fun working it out ourselves.

There was a similar thing in the Artemis Fowl books :o

Fuzzpig, I struggled with the Attwood book, mainly waffle and I find it very hard to decipher. In fact, most of those books are the same, the actual information in them could be written in one chapter alone.

Oh good I'm glad I'm not the only one! I too have found so many of them to be outdated and in some cases overly academic - which is not what an average person actually needs.

The only book so far that I've really benefited from was 'Aspies on mental health' and that was basically like reading extended MN posts :o

I do feel in some cases they are NT academics seeing us from the outside! Perhaps that's a bit harsh...

Some websites are too academic for me too, just lists of studies etc. I just can't do it. I'm not thick, but information presented like that just doesn't work for me. Which is worrying as I need to do some research for my current OU course

Well my mother has really surpassed herself this time! We were on a train browsing newspapers and she noticed some tiny article about venlaflaxine (an antidepressant) causing autistic symptoms. She is now convinced that because I took that AD, that's why I have Aspergers - I didn't even start on them til I was 16!

Oh dearie me, fuzzpig. Being of a generous nature, I will say that perhaps you are both still coming to terms with your dx. I now look on my brain as a blessing, albeit a mixed one, but I think for me the benefits outweigh the other stufff, in the long term.

TBH, I don't think my diagnosis has really even registered as a big deal

anyone still around?

I found out that the new autism resource centre in my town has an aspie support group! And it's on the day I only work the morning so I can wander along for a bit. May not get there for a couple of weeks but I'm excited to give it a try.

Apart from that everything else is shit, really really shit.

Oh fuzzpig [hugs] what's up love?

partly I am snowed under with OU stuff - tutor being great about it but can't really afford any more extensions, so have got lots to do and I'm so scatty I keep messing things up (e.g. I thought I could watch the interviews on the laptop as I installed the 'media kit' ages ago, just turned out I can't as you still need the DVD, so had to use random software to get transcripts off the course website because it doesn't like office2010, etc...) - I keep thinking why am I so bloody useless and getting angry with myself, and embarrassed. I know that it often goes along with being an Aspie, but I don't think I've really accepted that part of it as I've always been so ashamed of this side of me (it doesn't really fit with the whole academic overachiever image) that I wouldn't admit it and I feel like a fraud to say "it's because I have AS" when I've only known about that a short while. Whereas stuff like being geeky, or being shy, I have never had a problem admitting so it has been a natural progression to fit it in with the AS. Does that make sense

Apart from that it is just vast amounts of crap going on that make me want to curl up and hide/cry/sleep[repeat] - it is here as can't be arsed to type it all again especially as I really should be doing my damn assignment

and also [ends selfish ranting] how are you TPP?

Techie stuff always goes like that, in my experience. But despite my experience, I always have a naive belief that this time the gods will smile, and it will work straight away.

A couple of times I was seeing sol with excel figures, worked on them before the meeting, went to print them off, and damn printer was offline and I couldn't get it back online. So ended up taking laptop into sol! I have sussed the problem since then, it was updates in the night restarting my computer.

And don't start me on Word compatibility issues...

I'm fine, tired and busy.

hi Fuzzpig, hadn't seen your other threads re:DH and op, so wasn't aware, sorry you have both had such a tough time. I agree that your DH should go to CAB, sounds like he may be entitled to ESA and/or DLA given how disabling his condition sounds. I hope you get a date for the op, so at least you have some fixed variables to work around.

been having a stressful time at work recently myself, such is the times we live in...